Finally, a checklist for offbeat brides! Obviously, no checklist can work for everyone, but this one is hopefully a bit more slanted toward offbeat concerns. That said, it assumes you're got about a seven month engagement — some of you are waaay longer, and some of you manage to do it all in three months. Your mileage may vary.
So, now it's time to print this out and start checking the boxes!
First things first:
Sit down with your partner and figure out general vision for wedding. Indoors? Outdoors? Silly? Formal?
Decide on a budget and figure who might be helping. Choose wisely, grasshopper, and remember that if family pays, family may want to control.
If you're going for a potluck-style wedding, start talking to friends and family about who might want to help with different parts of the wedding.
Pick wedding date and time, and finalize after okaying with important guests, location, or officiant.
If you're hiring vendors, start doing your homework on what services you'll need, and who can provide it.
Buy a copy of Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides (Duh!)
As soon as you know what you're doing:
Scout out venues and book one as soon as you can.
Make preliminary guest list and decide on your wedding's approximate size. Get lists from both sets of parents, too.
Start talking to caterers, if you're using one.
Start a notebook/file folder to house all your wedding-planning paperwork in one place.
If you're doing a wedding party, choose your peeps.
If you're doing a caterer, pick one and determine price per head and menu.
Start looking at dresses.
Start investigating any ethnic customs or cultural traditions you might want to incorporate into your ceremony or reception.
Decide on and meet with your officiant to discuss ceremony structure.
If you plan to use frequent flyer miles to travel to your honeymoon destination, book your flight now.
Six months before wedding (or something similar)
Finalize the guest list.
Find an officiant who suits your style and spirit.
Consider music at your reception. Even if you're not doing dancing, some background tunes are nice.
Narrow down your gown choices and make a final decision.
If you're doing a gift registry, start registering for gifts.
Think about how you might want to wear your hair.
Figure out who's making your cake, cupcakes, wedding pie, etc.
Lock down photography — even if it's a friend, get a solid commitment.
Figure out if you're doing bridesmaid dresses.
Figure out flowers. If you're hiring someone, send a deposit to reserve their services.
Make sure everyone helping with the wedding knows what you're expecting of them.
Send STDs (ha!) to guests via postcard or email or even just calling.
Several months before wedding
Confirm your cake (or non-cake) plans.
If you're doing a wedding party, figure out what everyone's wearing.
Lock down your wedding dress and your partner's attire
Book ceremony musicians and send deposit.
Work on invitation wording and design.
Finalize menu and service details with caterer.
Launch your wedsite, if you're doing one.
A couple months before your wedding
If you're doing flowers with a florist, lock it down with them.
If you're renting stuff (tables, chairs, tents, farm animals) confirm it with the vendors.
Book rehearsal-dinner site, if you're doing one.
Figure out where you're sleeping on your wedding night, and make reservations if necessary.
Compile packages for out-of-town guests with hotel reservation and city information, and send 'em out via snail mail or email.
Book your honeymoon flights (if not using frequent flyer miles) and make all your other travel reservations.
If you haven't registered yet, be sure to do so before any upcoming prewedding parties.
Consider specific ceremony and reception decoration needs like a huppah, aisle runner, etc.
Purchase or make your invitations.
Start addressing invitations — aim to send them out at the two-month mark.
Talk to people you’d want to do special performances or readings as part of the ceremony.
Get anything you need for an international honeymoon (passport, birth certificate, visas, vaccinations, etc.).
Send out invitations.
Two months before your wedding:
Work on vows, particularly if you're writing your own.
Research local marriage license requirements.
Make the wedding party has purchased their outfits and accessories.
Arrange wedding-day transportation for you, your wedding party, and guests (as needed).
Snag wedding bands.
If you're doing favors, buy them now or else get crafting!
Six weeks out
As you receive presents, be sure to update and/or add items to your registry list and record the gifts you get.
Confirm reservations for out-of-town guests.
Arrange parking for the reception.
Order liquor, wine and/or champagne if they're not included in the catering contract.
Make sure you've got all your accessories like veil and shoes.
Begin writing the ceremony program if you are having one.
Tell your partner you love them at least once a day as things get increasingly crazy.
Do you want a guest book? Now's the time to get one.
Set aside some time to write thank-you notes for gifts received at the bridal shower.
Finalize vows.
Make sure your wedding outfits fit both of you.
One month out:
Do trial runs of various vanity routines (hair, make-up, henna, wedding night genital piercing jewelry, whatever); schedule wedding-day appointments.
Finish and print ceremony programs, if you're doing 'em.
Get marriage license and make appointments for blood tests (if necessary). Check when the license expires.
If you're doing an iPod reception, work on your playlist. If not, work on a list of "must-play" (and "must-not play") songs for your DJ or band. Back up your music and the rest of your hard drive while you're at it.
Discuss music with ceremony musicians and agree on final choices.
Confirm wedding-night and honeymoon reservations.
Have a follow-up meeting or phone call with the officiant to go over ceremony timing and details.
Do paperwork for official documents if you and/or your partner are changing your name(s).
Work out wedding day timing and details (who will get the bride there, where the wedding party will dress, etc) and draw up a schedule.
Get final prewedding haircut, if necessary.
Call or email wedding party to relay critical info related to rehearsal and wedding (dates, times, directions, duties).
Get a head start on thank-you notes if you can.
Finalize any special preferences, readings, or other ceremony details with your officiant. Put it in writing if you can.
Two weeks out:
Harass guests who haven't RSVP'd for the wedding and rehearsal dinner.
Give final head count to the caterer. Confirm set-up instructions and menu items.
Call location manager and make sure your vendors all have access to the site when they need it.
Confirm head count, delivery time, and location with the cakemaker.
Make extra sure that everyone who's helping you with the wedding gets a special, pointed thank you.
Determine any wedding day assignments for members of the wedding party, and make lists/info sheets as needed.
If you're doing a seating chart, figure it out now.
Confirm all final payment amounts with your vendors.
Confirm location, date, and time with photographer; create your "must-take" photo list.
Touch base with your officiant and give him/her rehearsal details and wedding day schedule.
Confirm delivery locations, times, and final arrangement count with florist.
Make sure your partner has their wedding attire all ready to go and fitted.
Fax transportation providers a schedule and addresses for pickups on wedding day.
Prepare your toasts or thanks to friends and family.
Distribute wedding-day directions, schedule, and contact list to all parents, attendants, and vendors.
Designate who will meet, greet, and handle each vendor on the wedding day.
Procure sedatives for night before wedding. Give them a trial run.
The week before:
Put together an overnight bag for your wedding night (toothbrush, vibrator, etc.) and designate someone to deliver it to the hotel for you.
If you're the froofy type, get a manicure and pedicure and confirm big-day beauty appointments.
Designate someone to collect the wedding gifts (and any cash) brought to the party.
Confirm date, location, time, and playlist with band/DJ and/or ceremony or cocktail hour musicians.
Leave a copy of your honeymoon itinerary with someone in case of emergency.
Put final payments and cash tips in marked envelopes and give to a designated family or friend to distribute on the wedding day.
Prepare a wedding day freakout kit (aspirin, makeup, safety pins, mints, Cliff bar, etc.).
The day before
Rehearse the ceremony with officiant and wedding party.
Confirm all specific honeymoon travel plans (including transportation to airport, etc.).
Assemble both your and your partners entire outfits.
Set your alarm and arrange for backup.
Make sure your vows are memorized
Take a sedative and/or masturbate. It will help you sleep.
Wedding day
Set aside special time during the day to step aside and breath for a few seconds.
Confirm with people who you expect to give/lead toasts at the reception.
Take a moment to thank your parents and tell them you love them.
Relax, smile, and enjoy the day!
After the wedding
Mail special letters and/or gifts to your parents and other special helpers to thank them for their help and support.
Make sure all vendor bills have been paid in full.
Find out when you can expect wedding photos and/or video.
Within two months of your wedding, send all thank-you notes.










Comments on "The official offbeat wedding checklist"
43 responses to this entry · Leave a comment · Comments feed (RSS 2.0)
Melissa
January 10th, 2008 · 8:54 AM · #
I would love to rent a farm animal or two for my wedding.
Megan
January 10th, 2008 · 9:27 AM · #
Oh, it looks like you forgot "schedule mani/pedi trial run 3 months before the wedding to ensure color matches your table linens and accent flowers."
Seriously, though: Thank you for this!
Rachel
January 10th, 2008 · 9:42 AM · #
Perfect! Thanks for posting this. Definitely better than anything in those "wedding planner" books.
Baxter
January 10th, 2008 · 10:08 AM · #
This is so amazingly helpful.
Me
January 10th, 2008 · 11:02 AM · #
I am always afraid I'm forgetting something major. Thanks so much for this!! It's so much better than the other ones that are available!
Zan
January 10th, 2008 · 11:13 AM · #
Thank you so much for this. It is now getting down to crunch time and although I have a wedding planner, I am also a bit of a control freak (thanks Mom) and need to make sure I dictate to her everything I need. She won't know unless I tell her, so thanks.
Danielle
January 10th, 2008 · 11:49 AM · #
This list is awesome because it uses a word that most other wedding sites don't–IF.
AJ
January 10th, 2008 · 12:07 PM · #
Sedative! That's brilliant, I wish someone had recommended that for me, I got about 2 hours sleep night before my wedding and looked it. People say they couldn't tell and the adrenaline got me through the day easily, but I can still see tired eyes when I look at my pictures. I'll definitely be recommending to my friends they snag a valium from somewhere.
Brittany
January 10th, 2008 · 4:45 PM · #
I love this.
The only thing that I would change is when to choose your officiant. If you have someone in mind that you'd like, it's basically her/his availability and the venue that decides the date of your shindig.
Liana
January 10th, 2008 · 5:56 PM · #
The list is great, except that I'm a bride in pants! I'll have to customize my list a little more
Ariel
January 10th, 2008 · 10:07 PM · #
Ooh, Liana, good point. I should change it to say "outfit."
Jada
January 11th, 2008 · 7:35 AM · #
Oh my god this list is amazing! I love my shirt too.
rainbo
January 11th, 2008 · 1:02 PM · #
who doesn't love a checklist that involves masturbation…way to go!!
thanks
Samantha
January 11th, 2008 · 5:00 PM · #
Thanks!!!
sarah
January 11th, 2008 · 5:23 PM · #
Oh god… there's so much stuff that needs to be done that I keep overlooking… I guess we're going to do a lot of "winging it." I'm gonna need to do a lot of masturbating and sedative-munching. Oh well.
dragonfly
January 11th, 2008 · 6:11 PM · #
Anyone considering having farm animals around their wedding really needs to RECONSIDER IT! I live on a farm & we would never consider renting an animal out for a wedding. Take this from someone who's mother wanted swans swimming in her pool & whose father threatened to serve the poor birds for dinner after he got done cleaning up the poop right before the guests started arriving. Now I have to got back to hitting my head on the wall. My son is getting married soon – possibly at our farm. I'm thinking I'll hand out shovels, rakes & pitchforks to the guests as they arrive. Good luck every one.
Ariel
January 11th, 2008 · 6:53 PM · #
Psst, dragonfly: it was a joke.
sarah
January 11th, 2008 · 6:59 PM · #
Seriously, though, why do so many wedding places advise to "start thinking about hairstyles" like 6 months before the wedding? Am I missing something? Is this something that I should really put 6 months worth of thought into?
Ariel
January 11th, 2008 · 9:09 PM · #
Sarah, I guess the logic is that if you want to grow it out, it could take six months? That's the only justification I can think of.
Sean
January 12th, 2008 · 10:40 AM · #
Or in my case,
1. Get license
2. Make sure park is clear the day of ceremony
3. Get married
4. Eat and drink
5. Hot married sex
I realized that after dumping a number of specific expenses like getting my hair done and having a fancy cake that dumping all of it and going bare bones is much easier/cheaper/smarter. S'nice.
Hillary
January 13th, 2008 · 7:44 PM · #
Hey Ariel, I could totally support the Offbeat Bride Podcast!
sje
January 14th, 2008 · 12:57 PM · #
Love the list, especially the frequent use of the word "if". You seem to cover all the big stuff, without getting down to teensy, stupid, princess-type details.
Harper
January 21st, 2008 · 8:01 AM · #
OMG, don't make the mistake one of my Customers did and get your Gown details done LAST! 1:Get the Venue then 2:Get your Gown/Costume details/deposit/contract/shopping done! 3:Then deal with everyone else's minutia…
From a Gown Designer's perspective everyone's coming in to the shop at once wanting your full attention and the Calendar Juggling Act becomes chaos with just one last minute forgetful Girl…and we haveto charge accordingly to make it work! Save your budget for fun things, not Rush Fees
Brigitta
January 21st, 2008 · 7:35 PM · #
seriously amazing! thanks so much.
Anna
February 1st, 2008 · 2:53 PM · #
holy shit! is it too late to elope?
akasha
February 12th, 2008 · 2:28 AM · #
fantastic list – i'm so glad i found it! masturbate, or hot unmarried sex i think….
Yvette
April 2nd, 2008 · 10:57 AM · #
Wow, now I know to add xanax to my overnight bag. Thanks!
Hoshi
April 10th, 2008 · 9:47 AM · #
OMG thank you so much for this. Any other checklists from frilly sites like the Knot scare me senseless to look at. They go on forever and I've never understood the point of terrifying the bride with ever single minor detail just when she's considering plannign a wedding. This list is perfect.
sue
May 9th, 2008 · 8:41 AM · #
the reason for deciding soooo earlie on your hair is partly to match it to the rest of your outfit – but mainly to be able to fix any oopsies along the way.
i plan to have my hair highlighted but if i am not careful my hair turns a carrot color and acutally clashes with my skin tone – not a look i would want for my wedding!!!!!
Bev
May 20th, 2008 · 7:13 AM · #
Here's an idea…Instead of doing the rehearsal dinner on the day before, do it two days before. That way, the day before the wedding can be completely stress-free and you can just chill if you want to.
jenn
October 17th, 2008 · 9:15 AM · #
This list is great! Thank you!
I just got engaged and when I went to look at the site, I kind of panicked since I haven't been planning this since I was a fetus.
This makes it easier to focus and streamline everything!
Cat
April 6th, 2009 · 3:07 AM · #
Oh my lord. I'm such an over planner but after my now fiance and I got engaged I sat there at the computer going "uh…buh?" I was clueless as to where to even start. I went to the knot website and started looking and thought "No! I want no white dress! I want no roses or shit like that! I want no lace! I want no tuxes! WHAT DO I DO!" Then I found this, took a moment for a sigh of relief, called the hubby to be in, and planned out what we could in a matter of twenty minutes. Thank GOD for you and this checklist!
Amanda
April 8th, 2009 · 10:29 PM · #
Wow, this is the best to-do list I've seen so far! I have to admit, yup I am a member of brides.com, knot.com, anything under the sun about planning my wedding.com, but evertime I look at their to-do lists I feel like the whole ordeal is getting way over our heads and way out of our pocketbooks. This is pretty much everything important without making the psycho fuss the other sites do, and seriously…the sedative masturbation step is the most clever thing ive seen yet! thanks!
Alexandra
June 4th, 2009 · 2:29 AM · #
Hee. WOW. So much planning!
I helped, a bit, with my sister's wedding, but I am SO glad a friend sent me here–I just got engaged, and we're going to just chill for awhile before we start any planning! Seeing what other commenters said about other sites: eep!
Cheers! Bookmarking this!
Missy
June 8th, 2009 · 5:13 AM · #
i can so relate to this checklist better than the others one this suits my lifestyle n i am plannin my gothic wedding comein this fall on halloween n i need help with some ideas for dresses thanx
69 Amazing Resources to Help You Plan Your Dream Wedding
July 14th, 2009 · 8:28 AM · #
[...] The Official Offbeat Wedding Checklist — The Offbeat Bride offers up her step-by-step approach to preparing for your wedding—beginning 7 months before the event so you'll have lots of time to prepare. [...]
Whitney
December 29th, 2009 · 11:29 PM · #
It would be a good idea to make this printer-friendly
OffbeatAriel
December 30th, 2009 · 2:02 AM · #
An excellent suggestion. *adds to to-do list*
Clare
January 1st, 2010 · 6:45 AM · #
Brilliant list
As I don't currently have a clue about where to start with this stuff – especially if you don't want a "traditional" wedding, this has to be the best site I've come across by far.
Many Thanks!
Desiree
January 5th, 2010 · 12:54 AM · #
omg im glad i found this website!!!!!!! now i can breath easy….kinda. haha
Ruth
February 3rd, 2010 · 8:10 PM · #
It occurs to me that it might be nice to have a printer-friendly version of this, when I tried to print it I got a lot of extra stuff from side bars and the header, plus all the comments. If this already exists, maybe add a more visable link?
Emmalyn
February 16th, 2010 · 3:10 AM · #
I had my rehearsal dinner two days beforehand (because the venue had a wedding the night before mine), and it was very nice to have everyone fly in, go to the rehearsal, have dinner, and have the whole next day to spend time with family we so rarely see. It was relaxing, fun, and tiring enough that I slept through the night before my wedding!
Therese S.
February 22nd, 2010 · 12:15 AM · #
Awesome, I am in the thick of wedding planning even months ahead 'coz I'm that way, but this validates my choices, and refines some. Thanks!