Genuinely touching zombie wedding vows and ceremony

Posted by
Michelle & Matthew at their wedding, with Leslie Light officiating. Photo by San Francisco's Chung Li Photography.
Michelle & Matthew at their wedding. Photo by San Francisco's Chung Li Photography.

Family members can get concerned when you say things like, “We're going to have zombies in our wedding vows!”

But here's solid proof that your vows can have zombie wedding vows and still be touching and heartfelt ceremony.

Here are the words recently read by Leslie Light, the friend who officiated over Michelle & Matthew's Halloween wedding:

Dearly loved friends and relations, I have the honor of welcoming you all to this ceremony, in which we will wed Matt and Michelle to each other.

They asked me to say a few words to set the proper mood and tone for their wedding.

I thought for quite some time about what I would say, discarding metaphors and quotes of love, before finally settling on a topic near to their hearts – Today I'm going to say a few words about zombies.

Zombies. The shambling ghouls of black and white Saturday matinees and the quick, ravenous monsters of modern horror are all suffering from the same disease – disconnection – from the world around them and from each other.

And aren't we all there sometimes?

Don't we shuffle to work, monosyllabic, until we get our caffeine, and then go through the motions of work and house as if completely unaware of other people? Don't we set our sights on one desire after another, rushing from experience to experience without actually stopping to enjoy any of it?

269Haven't you found yourself staring into space, wishing for just a little more brains?

Matt and Michelle were there too and they've decided to take the only vaccine that works – they've decided to get married. By which I mean they've decided to get connected — unashamedly, unhesitatingly connected — to each other.

In this they refuse to become numb themselves, they promise to give each other attention, consideration, and kindness – emotions zombies most certainly do not share. They refuse to feed on the heart and mind of the other, agreeing instead to grow those things together and share them equally. And they vow not to allow the other to become a zombie when they aren't looking – slipping into apathy, numbness, and a maddening hunger. They do these things with the shotguns of their love strapped strongly to their backs and the truncheons of their humor held firmly in their hands.

Together, they will defend their humanity and their home with all the wit, grace, and power of any spunky heroine or over-sized hero.

Together they are an example of what is possible when two people set their sights on the same star. They cut through our 21st century cynicism and prove that, in fact, zombification is not inevitable — that friendship, love, and desire, when held with both hands, are the only weapons any of us need to stay human.

With the zombies held at bay by their mutual promises, Michelle and Matt are ready to face the other monsters of life – defending against the Frankenstein coworkers, the Soul Vampires of false friends, and the Mummy of age itself.

The adventure they are about to embark on has all the magic of any Hollywood movie and all the terror of true Lovecraftian horror – dread Cthulhu has nothing on balancing family Christmases.

But the truest fact is that as long as they stick together, connected to each other, the zombies of life, real and imagined, apathetic and disastrous, cannot harm them.

That said, let's get married, shall we?

– Written by L.E.H. Light, 2008

Aww. See? So sweet, and yet … so very much undead! Let's hear it for Leslie Light and her wonderfully written ceremony.

For lots more about this wedding, you can check out Michelle's wedsite or browse through the 700+ wedding photos on Flickr! All photo are courtesy of Chung Li Photography in San Francisco.

Comments on Genuinely touching zombie wedding vows and ceremony

  1. *sniff* That was SO sweet and cute and funny. Yay for touching and sentimental Zombie wedding intro! Thanks for posting this…

    • My boyfriend and I are in the process of planning our wedding, which will be taking place at the Zombie March in Chicago, these wedding vows are perfect! I'm going to steal them and adapt them for ours!

  2. I can’t express how much I love that.
    Zombies need to be involved in more weddings.

  3. That is so perfect. Thank you for posting this. It also gave me a totally fabulous idea for our ceremony. We haven’t even begun writing it, and even though I’m a writer the thought was terrifying…but this inspired me to think of something that my FH and I enjoy. It’s not zombies at all (not even close) but lo and behold, it can be worked into a perfect metaphor of marriage! (With some artistic tweaking, of course.) I am no super excited to start working on it.

    Thank you, OBB, for all the fabulous ideas and inspiration!

  4. AHHHHH! I love it! My husband and I have vowed to each other that if the other turns into a zombie, we will kill them.

  5. Okay, I have to admit, after stalking your blog, I think I have a little crush on every single person involved in your wedding!

  6. @4AbsintheMinded (Amy)

    my lady and i have vowed that, too! good to see there are some other folks out there preparing…


  7. Okay, I officially have a girl-crush on Leslie Light. Smart, funny, talented writer, zombies, and LOCS?!?!?!? Done.

Read more comments

Comments are closed.