You might be an Offbeat Bride if…

Guest post by Cassie

You might be an Offbeat Bride if…

…you ask your engaged friend, “What are your centerpieces going to be, and how are you making them?” and she looks at you funny and says the florist is bringing them. Then you remember, oh yeah, centerpieces are usually beautiful flower arrangements brought in by florists, not the homemade weird concoctions made from a combination of dried gourds, vintage buttons, wind-up toys, and mini cast-iron bicycles that you were planning on.

…your relatives think your engagement must be off just because they can't find a big box registry for you.

…you ask a bride-to-be what color her dress is and she says, “Do you mean ivory vs. white?” and you remember not everyone considers red/purple/rainbow/polka-dotted dresses for their wedding day.

…when you mention you're getting married, strangers, store clerks, and vendors give your bare ring finger a long look mixed with pity and suspicion.

…your engaged best friend plans a 5-hour-long mimosa/hair appointment the day of the wedding and you remember not all brides plan to spend their pre-wedding time carting in the alcohol, dishes, glasses, decorations, etc. to the DIY reception site.

…your friend asks, “What are your colors?” and you stare at her blankly for 10 minutes because you have no idea what the heck she's talking about.

…friends and family announce “Yourname Hislastname!” and then say how good it sounds before you can stop them and explain you're keeping your own name.

…friends are not amused when they ask what your theme is and you say, “Um…getting married?”

…a coworker asks, “Have you found a church yet?” and you respond, “For what?”

…your toilet tank conspicuously lacks a stack of thick bridal magazines, and instead features a funny little blue book by some chick who has “Meadow” in her name.

And finally, you know you're an Offbeat Bride when you celebrate your best friend's traditional wedding, because that is exactly what she wants and that is exactly awesome for her!

…And then you go out searching for the perfect set of hot pink and purple polka-dotted frogs for your cake topper and all is well in the world.

Now I'd love everyone reading to make their OWN lists of “You know you're an Offbeat Bride when…” and post it in the comments! We all have different experiences and weddings and obviously my list doesn't apply to everyone. Tell me about how you knew when YOU were an Offbeat Bride!

Comments on You might be an Offbeat Bride if…

  1. …when your headpiece has buttons and feathers instead of rhinestones.

    …when your reception buffett is full of candy, ONLY candy.

    …when your friends ask about your wedding plans and you start talking for hours about everything you’re making

    Thanks girls, you create this shining ray of light that brightens even the darkest of days.

    • When ur friends ask about ur centrepiece amd u say that its from charity shops, eBay, diy books, glitter and ur mums old left over floor slates and even though its alot its beautiful, and some wild flowers. When the bouquet toss is the wild flowers from the centrepieces and every little girl gets one and the woman only gwt one chance to get one. When ur evening reception involves balloon animals, balloon swirds beating the bride and balloon arrows, and when children went home balloon willys lol. When u have no veil and its omg, and a gold dress, when theres elements of sailor moon in ur wedding cause its meaningful to u. When ur wedding theme is steampunk to stop ur creative energy and mind exploding, and everyone is like whats steampunk. When its like a sin because on the morning of the wedding I still didnt know what to do with my hair and told my hairdresser to wing it but make it more messy than the trail and alittle more volume. When my mum hit me across the head for saying doing a charity event weeks before the day and shave my head then the hairdresser just style the wig and I will slip it on. For wearing brown brogue boots instead of white, dimonde shoes. For my groom having brown Edward suits n top hats instead of grey or black. For doing things my way and the hubbys and spending what we want to spend instead of what wedding magazines tell us too.

  2. …when the best men have a bitch fight about who is THE best man (because there couldn’t possibly be 2 of them!)

  3. …When they ask you where you’re getting your bouquet/dress/shoes/jewelry/centerpieces and your response is always Etsy.

    • HAHAHAHA! I had the seamstress ask if my dress was an heimloom. “No, eBay…”

    • haha! I have found almost everything for our wedding so far on etsy! I love being able to support local artisans and have something unique. =0)

  4. …when friends and family say “your going to dye your hair, right?”, and you say “whats wrong with the pink i have now?”

    …when you watch Jurassic Park and think to yourself….”thats so bad ass…i want to get married there!”

    i love all of the little things you said, it made me feel better about my ultra conservative family, especially the one about the dress, because maybe they will be accepting after all! :]

    • When they ask “You’re going to dye your hair, right?” and you reply “Yes of course! The back will be jet black, and my bangs will be neon red…”

    • Yes to the hair dye bit! I’m so sick of this now, I think I’ll just stare at those people as blankly as people stare at me when I talk about my plans and stop wasting my time defending my fuchsia hair.

      • So, there’s a few parks in Texas with dinosaurs and one is an hour from where I live and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a dinosaur tea party

  5. Hmmm… funny and somewhat accurate article, but to me it kinda falls into the “my wedding is SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS because it is AUTHENTIC and OFFBEAT and you are just a traditionalist slave to the machine”.

    Your wedding is not a contest. You are not a bad person if you have a very traditional wedding, just like you’re not a bad person if you have a very untraditional wedding. And you’re not a bad person if you don’t have a wedding, either! I think it’s kind of rough to mock friends, family and vendors for presuming at first that you’d do typical/traditional wedding stuff (given that’s what most people do) – until you politely correct them, how are they to know otherwise?

    Is this post any different from snooty ones on “traditional” wedding forums bagging offbeat types for being “trashy” or “freaks” with their plans? Just a thought…

    • I disagree. I was told a tea length gown would only be suitable for my 2nd/3rd wedding. I wasn’t even allowed to consider it, according to the lady in one bridal Shop. Whilst I know (because that has been my only bad vendor experience) that not all wic vendors are dictorial like that. I strongly disliked being treated like that in a place where I could spend £1000+. The wic and the people involved really need to quit making assumptions and making people feel bad for not following the ‘rules’.
      This is making light of that and allows us to let some frustrations out by sharing our assumed experiences. There’s no nastiness, we’re not saying people are #€~^|€£§ For assuming these things, we’re not even saying that they’re stupid.
      We’re saying we know we’re offbeat because the traditional assumptions amuse us or our versions shock people, which amuses us.
      We’re being inclusive not exclusive, unlike our traditional bridal sisters (we’re not even all female). ????

  6. Kim, I totally get where you’re coming from in your concern … but what about the last item on Cassie’s list?

    …you know you’re an offbeat bride when you accept and celebrate your best friend’s uber-traditional wedding, because that is what she wants and that is just awesome for her.

    To me, this doesn’t read as at all “snooty” towards traditional wedding plans. It acknowledges that even best friends will have very different tastes in wedding styles — and that’s fine!

    Even cloaked in humor, I don’t think the author is insulting anyone else’s wedding in her celebration of doing things a little bit differently.

    • Well, to be honest, that felt a little tacked-on to me. Isn’t it a bit like saying, “No offense!” after insulting someone?

  7. Hahah, I think I qualify. My centre piece was a modified Barbie and Ken -doll couple representing me and the hubby. I still don’t know what I should have answered to the theme-question. We had no gift registry. My dress cost me about 70 dollars, including shoes and jewellery, while my husbands kilt-set topped that ten fold. Our church had no roof, floor, windows, doors or a priest and the grooms men wore no underpants. Off the top of my head.

  8. You know youre and OBB when people ask who your best man is, and you say something like, “Katie”

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