You might be an Offbeat Bride if…

Guest post by Cassie

You might be an Offbeat Bride if…

…you ask your engaged friend, “What are your centerpieces going to be, and how are you making them?” and she looks at you funny and says the florist is bringing them. Then you remember, oh yeah, centerpieces are usually beautiful flower arrangements brought in by florists, not the homemade weird concoctions made from a combination of dried gourds, vintage buttons, wind-up toys, and mini cast-iron bicycles that you were planning on.

…your relatives think your engagement must be off just because they can't find a big box registry for you.

…you ask a bride-to-be what color her dress is and she says, “Do you mean ivory vs. white?” and you remember not everyone considers red/purple/rainbow/polka-dotted dresses for their wedding day.

…when you mention you're getting married, strangers, store clerks, and vendors give your bare ring finger a long look mixed with pity and suspicion.

…your engaged best friend plans a 5-hour-long mimosa/hair appointment the day of the wedding and you remember not all brides plan to spend their pre-wedding time carting in the alcohol, dishes, glasses, decorations, etc. to the DIY reception site.

…your friend asks, “What are your colors?” and you stare at her blankly for 10 minutes because you have no idea what the heck she's talking about.

…friends and family announce “Yourname Hislastname!” and then say how good it sounds before you can stop them and explain you're keeping your own name.

…friends are not amused when they ask what your theme is and you say, “Um…getting married?”

…a coworker asks, “Have you found a church yet?” and you respond, “For what?”

…your toilet tank conspicuously lacks a stack of thick bridal magazines, and instead features a funny little blue book by some chick who has “Meadow” in her name.

And finally, you know you're an Offbeat Bride when you celebrate your best friend's traditional wedding, because that is exactly what she wants and that is exactly awesome for her!

…And then you go out searching for the perfect set of hot pink and purple polka-dotted frogs for your cake topper and all is well in the world.

Now I'd love everyone reading to make their OWN lists of “You know you're an Offbeat Bride when…” and post it in the comments! We all have different experiences and weddings and obviously my list doesn't apply to everyone. Tell me about how you knew when YOU were an Offbeat Bride!

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Comments on You might be an Offbeat Bride if…

  1. Hello Cassie,

    I just read your aricle about your offbeat wedding and I´m loving it. Although I´m a more traditional bride I love your comments about the centerpieces and colours of wedding dresses. Especially your answer to the theme question make me roar with laughter! Best wishes for you and your husband and may your marriage be filled with a lot of nice, offbeat moments!

    Greetings from Germany

  2. Wow…this completely describes everything that happened with my wedding. People were really confused and probably thinking “WTF?”, but I wouldn’t have done it any other way… 😀

    • You know you’re an offbeat bride when you are so fricking excited that you found 2 matching skull cameos for your diamonte covered hot pink bow enhanced ballet and your world is now complete.

      You know you’re an Offbeat Bride when how to paint your hubby to bes buzz cut hair onto to his Zombie kokeshi doll cake topper is your buggest wedding drama hahahahahahahahah

  3. I loved this post so much! It made me laugh and some of the things were totally me. Like lugging junk into the venue on the day of the wedding instead of sitting at a 5 hour hair appointment. Ha! Not only was I lugging in things but it was literally “1” degree that day!!!
    I had to post this post and an offbeat bride type discussion on my blog today because I loved it so much. I thought you’d like to see:

  4. Cute stuff! I definitely hear you on the ring-finger-peeping, ugh that drove me crazy. I could add a few from my own experience:

    …when you explain to a dress store vendor what you’re looking for in a gown, and she gives you a pitying look and asks if this is your second wedding.

    …you get one of those giant wedding planner books and then use only a few pages of it, allowing you to pass it on to a newly engaged friend afterward.

    …you either have to correct new acquaintances who ask about the “lucky groom,” OR (if you’re me) you enthusiastically reply “her name is…!”

    …you go to a wedding expo purely for the “OMG LOL, I can’t wait to blog this later!” value.

    …there are some aspects of what is “usually” part of a wedding that you just plain phone in, keep REALLY simple or skip altogether. And never regret having done so.

    • lol i feel you! im so tired of the finger peeping too! i have a little gols band on my ring finger that i’ve been wearing for years and one lady actually asked me “ooooohhh let me see you ring! wait where’s your diamond?” lmfao

    • I get the comment “that is more appropriate for a second wedding” everytime I show my ma or my friends the dresses I like. What don’t they get?? I am not a priss and I don’t want to be a princess I want to be able to move and dance and spill without worrying that I just wasted 5k on something I am NEVER going to wear again. ughh. so funny but also frustrating. This blog has been a real safe haven. =0) thanks ladies.

  5. Thanks for making me smile this morning! I am feeling the stress of wanting to make my own centerpieces/bouquets and not having my family understand it. I needed to smile and be reminded of all the other amazing ways it’s been pulled off! 🙂

  6. … you order your dress from Wai-Ching and your family face is mock horror, but they perk up and go “That is so you!” (That’s also when you know that the last hold out of the family’s hope that somewhere deep inside you are truly “normal” and planned to be a princess for just one day will not come true. )

    …your groom actually has a say.

    … your colors are blush and bashful unless you really loved Steele Magnolias.

    I love this.

  7. “…friends are not amused when they ask what your theme is and you say, ‘Um…getting married?'”

    This is definitely my partner and me. Our “theme” changes almost weekly (20s, sunflowers, x-files, pirates, sea-foam green, etc…) but at the end of the day we remember that “OMFG WE’RE GETTING MARRIED” and we receive the reality check we need.

    Thanks for this post, and especially the bit on the end about supporting commitments, off-beat or not. Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about?

    Anne Marie

    • I’m completely intrigued by the idea of an X-Files themed wedding! What direction did you choose?

  8. Amy: Oh, but I DO love Steel Magnolias. I don’t think Louisiana in the 80s is my theme though.

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