Cool stuff does not cease to exist just because it doesn’t make it into my wedding

Guest post by Kelly aka Bug

I'm one of those people that can easily appreciate, sometimes even fall in love with, lots of things that aren't necessarily “me.” This makes me a good person to have over to your house after you're done decorating, because I will enthusiastically comment on your color choices, art, purple couch and funky shag rug, etc. And then, even if it's not necessarily my style, I will go home and wonder, “hmm, maybe I should try a purple couch and funky shag rug.” Then I will buy it. And three months later I will hate it. I don't know if this because I am easily swayed or if it just means I really do have a broad range of taste when it comes to, well, just about everything.

This personality trait has made wedding planning significantly tougher than I expected.

I'll decide on, say, the woods as a good location. “The woods! I looooooovee the woods! I belong in the woods!”

And then I'll see pictures of someone's beach wedding. “The beach! Ohmigod the beach! I was made for the beach!!!”

And then a friend will point out that one does not necessarily think “beach” when they look at me unless it's along the lines of “when was the last time that girl got some sun?”

And then it's a lighthouse. “Oooh, lighthouses!” and I'm off and running in a completely different direction.

In talking about this with my friend Kristal, who is also engaged and fabulous, we decided that what makes this so tough is that you're doing this ONCE (you hope). You can't have five dresses. You can't use five different photographers. You can't get married in five different locations. (Okay, some of you may be able to. I can't. Budget, budget, budget.)

Anyway, the lesson I've taken from this is two-fold:

  1. I can't have it all, and, more importantly
  2. Cool stuff does not cease to exist just because it doesn't make it into my wedding. Yes, I adore photobooths at receptions, but the twenty-ish people we plan to have at our wedding will not justify the cost of renting one, especially since I know for sure that four of those twenty people (our parents) will avoid any photo ops like the plague. (My mother will look like a celebrity defendant in all of our pictures, because her hands will be in front of her face.) And a lighthouse wedding sounds very cool, but would likely come with a foghorn and a ride on a ridiculously small boat, etc., etc., etc.

And for this, I'm so thankful for Offbeat Bride, because I can enjoy other peoples' weddings without even having to get them a gift!

Comments on Cool stuff does not cease to exist just because it doesn’t make it into my wedding

  1. I'm a mind changer too! It doesn't help that I've been doing this planning thing for 2 years now. But we're down to the wire – 3 weeks left. From the venue, to the food, to my dress, everything has been changed 2, 3 and some even 4 times.

    My latest change (which occured this past weekend) was my bouquet. Oh yes, it's in it's third generation. Well ACTUALLY it's back to the original plan after I realized that my second plan might not work. I've learned that while those bouquets are gorgeous, while sitting in my closet they've been slowly deconstructing themselves and I just don't want them completely falling apart while walking down the aisle. Because if they fall apart while not being moved or touched, how are they going to stay together while someone is holding them and moving them around?

  2. the best brainstorm i had about this dilemma (x2 brides who are both like, ooooh shiny, all the time) was to decide early on that we should begin a tradition of amazing anniversary parties. that meant the heartache of realizing what we just can't afford right now was a little lessened by future (even if still hypothetical) party planning. we're giving out tickets as our favors to that 1st anniversary event at our wedding and when we come across things we can't fit into this party, we remind each other it can happen next year. (this has also helped us get over being so sad when some key friends and family tell us they're not able to attend). and that way if whatever it was WAS just a passing fad, we'll be over it by next year, and celebrating in some totally new fashion altogether.

  3. I found this to be the hardest part of planning my own wedding! I knew my obsessive and mind-chaning nature would get in the way of getting crap done, so i put my foot down and made myself promise to just *pick stuff*. I loved my wedding and although I do wish I could go back and do it again a million different ways, the fact is that I just can't. Time to move on and admire everyone else's gorgeous and creative stuff, which is why i still peruse OBB 🙂

  4. I'm glad you posted this. a lot of us get bombarded by awesome ideas (especially on OBT!) and sometimes, you just need to know when to quit. your wedding doesn't have to involved EVERYTHING you like and love– you'll have the rest of your life to squeeze that purple couch and beach party in 🙂

  5. This post was helpful for sure! Between my own propensity towards an "ooh shiny" mentality and the fact that I am still in early, early planning stages I have a hard time not getting totally caught up in the million things I want to include. This was a good reminder to not let myself get burnt out early on and to just let good ideas be good ideas. Thanks! 🙂

  6. I'm an appreciates-it-all type of person with design too, so wedding planning certainly brings out the want-it-all issues . However, I'm trying to let our venue (the most practical, budget-minded, but still-pretty location we can find) dictate our ultimate choices about the visual aspects of the wedding. We ended up with the rustic chic over urban chic location, so that should help with the editing. We're no less urban chic at our core, it just means the wedding day highlights our nature/outdoorsy aspects over any other aspects.

  7. You sound like my fella reasoning with me in a restaurant. I’m really REALLY bad at making decisions, always have been, and he’s constantly reminding me that ‘the other dish will not vanish forever if you don’t pick it’. It’s something I’ll be best remembering when I get down to the real decisions. Thanks for the great advice and good luck with it all!

  8. I don't have this problem, but I still think this was a great post. And very funny. The 'celebrity defendant' bit sounds like most of my family; I'll be giggling about that all day.

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