The offbeat bride: Molly, business owner and teacher

Her offbeat partner: Laurie, business owner/dog adventure guide/writer

Location & date of wedding: Guemes Island, WA overlooking the water and mountains on October 25th, 2008

What made our wedding offbeat: Some details of that made it ours….

Rather than sending STD cards or standard invitations…we put together a CD (I love music) and sent it to our guests. We sent the CDs 10 months ahead of time (and even with no Save The Date) it worked out great – people loved the CD and still talk about it. The CD had our website on it, which was all people needed. It set the tone for fun and expecting the unexpected. (In hindsight, it also served as the ‘favor').

Guests were asked to participate in many ways. During the ceremony we had a Community Support section where guests were asked to publicly declare their support to our commitment. We also had a Ring Warming during the ceremony where the rings were passed around and guests were asked to take a moment to hold them, infuse them with their physical, emotional, and spiritual warmth. And we had a wedding certificate made that our guests signed with us after the ceremony. We got a lot of response at how much people enjoyed being a part of it all.

We had a pre-ceremony mingle with food and drink – guests love food & drink! We had to do a lot of planning for about a year before the wedding; however, neither one of us did any work on our wedding day. We got massages and were super relaxed… we totally gave up all control and let our community loose… they set up the tables, the chairs for the ceremony, the flowers, the sound system, did our hair, etc. We literally just showed up… it was awe-some!! We also choreographed a playful first dance to Frank Sinatra's “World on a String.”

Our DJ was a local woman we heard at a club and loved… I emailed her and asked if she did weddings. She said she didn't, but once she knew that it was more party/less wedding music she happily agreed! Neither of us like cake, so no cake… in fact, no hoopla of any kind around the desserts (brownies with ice-cream – yum).

The wedding was at a rustic resort and many guests slept in the cabins or yurts on Friday and Saturday night, making the event a community one (i.e., set-up, clean-up, breakfast, midnight snacks, fire building, hot tubbing, bonding, etc.).

Our biggest challenge: Sadly, Laurie's parents chose not to come to the wedding. They felt/feel our marriage conflicts with their religious views and they cannot support it. We live in the same city as her parents, and our engagement lasted over a year, which made – and still makes – interactions & holidays tough.

They pray against our love and actively support bans on marriage equality. They even chose not to see/interact with their multiple family members that flew in for the wedding (including their son/Laurie's brother).

We did/do our best to cope with this by talking about it openly, perusing OBB, trying not to make them wrong and trusting that the greatest gift we can give to family, friends and the community in general, is to be truly authentic, no matter how hard the ‘truth' may be for others.

My favorite moment: The declaration of our marriage by our bad-ass celebrant & dear friend, Roxanne.

She took a step forward, puffed her chest and powerfully announced:
“By the power unlawfully seized by me in defiance of the State of Washington's laws prohibiting marriage equality, it is my great pleasure to declare you MARRIED!”

It felt like the earth shifted at that moment. It was powerful because of how real the words were to her… it sent a visible wave of chills + joy over the crowd. It literally rocked!

A few of my vendors:

My offbeat advice: Keep a separate checking account for your wedding spending/saving & use an on-line budgeter! Even my Excel geekiness couldn't outdo the free tools available on-line. I'm sure there are other great budgeters, but I confess, I used the Knot's budgeter. (If you've never heard of the Knot, don't go there, you are a true OBB. Keep your purity! If you've heard of it and I made you gag – sorry.)

Anyway, I clicked past the white cookie-cutter consumerism crap and found that their budgeter kinda rocks. We had to reformat their suggested budget (i.e., subtract: hair & make-up, bridesmaids stuff, bridal bouquet, limo, etc and add: CD envelopes, mason jars from goodwill, port-a-potty, etc.), but from anywhere in the world I could keep track of our payments and budget stuff. Yeah for financial control and ease!

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn: Click here for more pics from this amazing wedding day!

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Comments on Molly & Laurie’s Island Outdoor Lesbian Yes-We-Can Wedding

  1. I have to admit, I’m pretty sure I’m going to borrow the ring warming idea. It’s amazing!! Thanks so much for the inspiration!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear your in laws were being so out and out horrible. How can they support a religion that sets up a barrier between them and their child? But at least you went ahead and expressed your love for each other and celebrated your wedding. It looks like a beautiful ceremony, full of geniuene emotion, love and commitment, plus an awesome party thrown in! Yay!

  3. You go girls! What a beautiful, touching story. I applaud your strength and love for each other in the face of so many odds. May you have all the happiness you both so richly deserve.

  4. Roxanne is a friend of mine…and you’re right, she does rock, but you guys rock harder. 🙂

  5. I am really moved that Laurie emerged so strong and loving from what must have been a really tough coming-out experience.
    It sounds cool that the rest of the family chose to support you-yay to them!
    HOW did you get that rainbow into the pic of you sitting together in the chair?
    Was that just serendipitous?
    Anyway, how incredibly cool and beautiful to have a lovely gay pride rainbow in that pic.
    Congrats!

  6. WOW is right – your “favorite moment” brought tears to my eyes! Congratulations to you both!

  7. Congratulations. You are brave. It’s good that you went ahead with the wedding, even though Laurie’s parents weren’t in favour. Let’s hope they learn to accept the marriage over time.

    You may not be able to change their views — and you shouldn’t try, really — but they might one day see how happy you are. *That* should make them reflect on things.

    Once again, congrats.

  8. Your favorite moment gave me chills! I am one half of a lesbian couple getting married in March and i can’t WAIT to see what our officiant/MOH/BFF says at the end. The whole thing is a surprise. And yes, HOW did you get that rainbow in the picture?! Amazing.

  9. Molly & Laurie, absolutely beautiful! I really love that your guests were so involved. The ring warming…I’m with Carrie, I may have to steal that idea and having everyone sign a certificate after the ceremony is such a beautiful idea! May have to steal that too! I also love that you did the CD invitation. I have been thinking about that but haven’t been able to work out the details. You have really inspired me. Thank you! Congratulations and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

    PS Great advice on the budgeter! Will definitely be using that!

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