Why I can't read wedding magazines

March 7 2007 | arielmstallings
BARF. Photo by Faye✩ Mous, used under Creative Commons license.
Dan Savage recently blogged about Engagement 101, a creepy wedding industrial complex rag that features coverlines like "The hottest celebrity ring trends." The best one reads "Have you found THE ONE? How can you tell?"

Dan actually went to far as to scan the terrible quiz you can take to find out if you've found "THE ONE." (Crucial clue: what he gets you for your birthday!) It's awful and amusing.

  1. The woman on the cover of Engagement 101 appears to have the expression of "Hurry up and take the picture, he reeks of Drakkar Noir."

  2. omg. i saw this at the bookstore today and thought wtf?? there needs to be a magazine for engagements now?? i thought someone just asked the other person, got the answer, and that was that. ha. guess i was wrong. i don't even have a ring at this point and there certainly wasn't a "romantic proposal." and no engagement party. i didn't even realize i was supposed to have one. the "best" thing on the cover is "get the most romantic proposal and the ring you want." this sort of thing makes me phsically ill, for reals. isn't this about love and commitment, not glitz, glam, and bling? i guess not. no wonder the divorce rate is so high!

  3. wtf is right. Reeks of shallowness, not to mention grammatical errors and duplicate answers. I don't think I'd trust whomever wrote this to be able to confirm that I bought the correct size bra, let alone "the one".
    Jeezie Weezie.

  4. You might be interested in a new alternative wedding publication, called Bond Mag, publishing quarterly by Avanti Ragazzi Publishing, focusing on all the things wedding magazines have to offer, but with a hetero/gay-friendly unique spin and cutting edge. First edition comes out by May 2007.

  5. I especially love the part in the quiz where they assume the woman wants children (and say all men who don't seem interested in having children are bad).

  6. Melissa, you said the first thing I was going to comment on. Not everyone wants to have kids, and I'm actually THRILLED that I found a guy who feels the same way as me (no kids, thanx)!

    The other thing that makes me laugh is that the quiz carries the idea that you and your guy don't live together, or you haven't been dating long term…

    I know exactly how much money my guy has in each of his accounts because we have 1 common account at our bank – and so when I pull up my stuff, there's a link to look at his as well. (We only have 1 common savings account for the mortgage…)

    And my family wouldn't invite him to festivities if we broke up (out of deference to me I believe) but he's not as 'low' as "they think he's at least better than the last one"…there CAN be middle ground you know.

  7. Well, apparently because we're chid-free and I haven't cared enough to talk about his bank account my fiance has a lot of "cons".
    As if.

Leave a Reply to Maya Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

No-drama comment policy

Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.

Biz owners & wedding bloggers

Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.