Beth & Nick

Although the photographer is totally skilled, I can't help but balk at the pose in this engagement photo.

Is it just me, or do the crossed arms of the headless groom-to-be comes off as creepily paternalistic? (“No, you're not getting your bride allowance — you've been naughty this week!”) And there's just something very subservient about sticking the bride-to-be on the ground, wrapped around his feet and smiling.

Again, Anne Ruthmann is clearly an amazing photographer. (Check out her stuff!) But the pose strikes me as creepy. That is, unless the couple pictured are into some kinky bdsm power-play dynamics and the bride is smiling cuz she's all, “Look who I let out of the dungeon for the afternoon! Tee hee!”

Comments on Who picked THIS engagement pose?

  1. “That is, unless the couple pictured are into some kinky bdsm power-play dynamics and the bride is smiling cuz she’s all, “Look who I let out of the dungeon for the afternoon! Tee hee!”
    What if the couple pictured are into some kinky bdsm power-play dynamics and the bride is smiling cuz she’s all, “Look, he let me out of the dungeon for the afternoon, and I’m not even on my leash! Tee hee!” Would it be okay then? I’m just curious, because (after also reading your other article on a similar picture with gender roles reversed) it seems like you’re just projecting views of ‘female subservience is horrifying but male subservience is okay.’
    “And there’s just something very subservient about sticking the bride-to-be on the ground, wrapped around his feet and smiling.”
    So what? Maybe she is subservient. Maybe that couple, and many other couples, enjoy practicing traditional gender roles. Is there something wrong with that? It’s not like the photographer was all like, “Bride, you have to sit on the ground at your husband’s feet because you are a woman and therefore should act like a slave to him.” It’s not like this photo has a note attached to it that says “Women, take note! This is how you should be – a slave to your husband – and you should love it… and if you don’t then you should be ashamed of yourself!”
    I do agree with you on the head cut off being creepy. It’s like she’s posing in front of a statue, not a human being. Yuck!

    • it seems like you’re just projecting views of ‘female subservience is horrifying but male subservience is okay.’

      My goal was simply a tongue-in-cheek challenge the cultural assumptions that women are subservient to their husbands. I’m all for couples having whatever power dynamics work for them.

      • Oh, alright… I guess I just didn’t see this photo, or other photos like it, as projecting a cultural assumption. I was thinking of it more as simply depicting this couples’ relationship. But that’s just me. 🙂

  2. If it weren’t for his absent head. I would love this shot. However, I AM in a fun-kinky relationship where this type of shot would be absolutely appropriate. Although he would love to have his head included. 🙂

  3. if you could see the grooms head i would just thing it was an “Army of Darkness” tribute or something, however without the head its rude, like the groom doesnt madder.

  4. I actually love this. My relationship, however is based on D/s, and is unconventional.

    Being able to be yourself in your relationship. proud of it, proud to show the nature of it, regardless of what the circumstances might be, regardless of where you might be no matter how much it may be ‘frowned upon’ – is extremely touching to me.

  5. OK the bride’s face is the focal point…next to the groom’s crotch. Does anyone else’s eyes go there second?

    Should have cut her foot from the photo. A groom without a head! A wolf without a foot! And an aria plays in the background.

  6. I do love it when men are headless on my romance novels, although they are usually also shirtless.

  7. You know, if the image panned back to show his face, and he had either a chainsaw at the ready or a sword held overhead, (dramatic winds blowing their hair to one side optional), this could be a poster for an 80s action movie.

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