Farts are still funny: what I learned from my parents’ 30-year marriage

Guest post by MissSquirrel
My parents… are drunk

When I think about what I want from a marriage, what I want from my partner as a husband, and the kind of wife I want to be for him, I think naturally of the marriage I have observed the most — my parents. They had a short courtship and a long marriage: over thirty years together.

The best things they have taught me about marriage are:

  • It will not always be easy. Loving someone can be hard work at times, and there will be issues on which you will not always agree. But if you make the choice to love your partner, you can survive it all.
  • When things are rocky, explain it to your children. Explain the situation the best you can so they don't think it is their fault.
  • Be equals. Discuss decisions and always consider how it will affect your family.
  • Laugh together even at stupid stuff. (Farts are always funny, even when you are 54).
  • Cherish each other.
  • Valentines Day is a crock of shit. You should show you love your partner EVERY day, not when Hallmark tells you to.
  • Flowers aren't for when you screw up — they are for whenever. My dad buys my mum flowers for no reason, sometimes because she has been working really hard, to tell her he loves her, because they are reduced to $1.99 at Woolworths, or because the weather is horrible and he wants her to have some colour.
  • Do stuff together, don't sit around complaining that life is boring. Make your life exciting.

What have your parents taught you?

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Comments on Farts are still funny: what I learned from my parents’ 30-year marriage

  1. My dad’s lesson: make sure there are things that you enjoy doing together (sports, board games, cooking, WHATEVER) and then make sure you do them as often as possible.

    Also, never go to bed angry.

    • I agree. This one is sooo important.

      FH & I are pretty good about having activities. The “never go to bed angry” part we need to work on…

      Good advice!

  2. Certainly do things together and enjoy time with each other, but have your own interests, friends and activities as well. Remember you’re still your own person and that’s who your partner fell in love in the first place.

    • GOD YES. Maintaining our separate interests has been crucial to my and Dre’s longevity (14 years this New Years — holy shit). We love each other and we have shared interests, but we also have a lot of things we’ve always enjoyed doing separately.

  3. i hate “i fucked up flowers” but i looooooooooooooooooooooooooooove just because flowers! (proud to say i never have received any of the former but plenty of the latter 🙂

  4. My parents have been married 29 years, and they taught me all of the stuff in the post, plus how important it is to grow as a couple. You’re not the same person 10 years into marriage that you were the day before. You have to grow up together, make sure you know who your partner really is, through all of their growing pains and your own.

  5. My parents have been together since Mum was 16 and dad was 17. They’ve been married 42 years and together 47. Their recommendation is to always remember how important it is to be silly! Remember life is ridiculous and there is always something to laugh at.
    I was the odd one out at school because my parents were still married and actually liked each other!
    It’s only now I have a lovely, silly, happy man(7 1/2 years together and alls good!) that I can really see what they were on about.

  6. Never go to bed with a heavy heart, for it will harden in the morning.
    Communication really is everything.
    Remember above all else, she is your Best Friend.
    As you grow old together, stay young at heart with each other.

  7. Always, always make fun of each other!

    Also, the random unexpected things are always amazing. I remember one day my dad brought home flowers (something he doesn’t do much as we grow a lot) and my mom was really confused. Then he hugged her and said “today is the day you’ve spent half of your life married to me”. I still remember that and think it was so sweet!

  8. Miss Squirrel, I loved you in Bad Teacher. Regarding long-lasting relationships, something I’ve heard the research has shown is that you have to accept some conflicts will never be “solved”. Even in 50 years, you may be arguing about the same stuff. Another thing I saw on a documentary about human emotions, is that happy couples argue just as much as unhappy couples. The difference is that for the happy couples, there isn’t an emotional sting. They can argue, and even say very mean things to each other, but each partner knows the are loved even in the midst of the argument. There is never a big emotional drama of “my partner hates me” or “I hate my partner”.

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