What have you learned from Offbeat Bride?

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Photo from Sara & Nick's majestic movies wedding by Vince from Making the Moment
Photo from Sara & Nick’s majestic movies wedding by Vince from Making the Moment

An Offbeat Bride reader named Hespestos started a conversation called “What have you learned from your time on Offbeat Bride?” and the answers have ranged from the silly to the inspiring…

Hespestos wrote:

I was thinking about how much my time on Offbeat Bride has taught me — from practical matters to how to approach situations in my daily life. The list is long –here are just few:

The most important lesson I learned is that there are many lovely ladies out there who are tackling much larger problems than the ones with which I am dealing. My wedding planning has been far from smooth, but I should be very grateful that things are going as well as they are!

What have you learned from your time here?

And here are what some Offbeat Bride readers answered…

train station kiss

  • What steampunk is.
  • About Etsy.
  • That Australians have to say very specific words as part of their legal ceremony.
  • That corsets are gorgeous and should be everyday wear.
  • Whilst Americans might have more choice in their ceremony, having a non-religious ceremony can be really difficult, and through that I’ve learned what ‘seperation of church and state’ actually means (I always thought it meant anything legal could not have any religious elements).
  • Holding to a budget is NOT mean.
  • That weddings are beautiful whether they’re 1k or 50k.
  • In a British civil ceremony you can’t have any religious elements whatsoever in the ceremony. I did not know this.
  • Part of wedding planning is learning about the new family and learning to compromise.
  • Dia de los muertos is not just another name for halloween.
  • There are a LOT of fellow World of Warcraft brides out there who are completely awesome and nerdy.
  • All the super awesome vendors that I had not previously explored.
  • That wedding planning doesn’t have to be a contest. I don’t have to prove to you how “wacky” I can be — I can have a traditional wedding and still be an Offbeat Bride.
  • That I’m not nearly as weird as I thought!
  • How to not get screwed by a florist.
  • Amongst many things I learned how to make paper roses!
  • There are awesome gamer chicks out there like me.
  • Being someone’s wife is not at all as scary as I thought it would be.
  • That legalising gay marriage might not actually be a bad thing for the sake of love, commitment and families.
  • That I actually love tattoos.
  • About a lot of different wedding traditions associated with a lot of different cultures.
  • Just because you’re using another culture as a theme for your wedding definitely doesn’t mean you are a wanna-be. Maybe you just appreciate aspects of that culture.
  • I learned that there is much more to BDSM and Polyamory than just sex. Honestly it never occured to me that it could be a lifestyle, something people did all the time or that it could ever be worked into a wedding.
  • About loving who I am — not some “wedding-version” of myself, and acknowleging that is who my d00d wants to marry in the first place.
  • Just what recycling cans can accomplish.wedding
  • That I could actually LIKE weddings. I used to find them annoying because it was always the same old boring shit. But Offbeat Bride taught me that weddings don’t always suck!
  • Just because there’s skulls on the cake doesn’t mean that the couple is goth.
  • In short, I’ve learned tolerance, acceptance, and, maybe most importantly, perspective.
  • Oh and also tattoo’s and brightly colored hair improve any and all wedding photos.

Like I said, this conversation fascinated me, and we all wanna know… what have YOU learned from Offbeat Bride? Leave ’em in the comments…

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Comments on What have you learned from Offbeat Bride?

  1. I was just going to say a different version of this above:
    “That I could actually LIKE weddings. I used to find them annoying because it was always the same old boring shit. But OBB taught me that weddings don’t always suck!”

    And, that “not everyone is like the women on That Other Wedding Site.” So refreshing. (Though I’ve also been on That Other Wedding Site recently and was relieved to see some different perspectives, but I can tell you that in the past, That Site was much more conformist. Sign of the times, maybe. Anyway – OBB has always been awesome).

    Thanks for having this site! 🙂

  2. It’s OK to not be completely head-over-heels in love with the wedding planning process and feel ambivalent about it from time-to-time.

    Blue is absolutely still my favorite color, and just so happens to look pretty rockin’ in any aspect. And I still don’t like pink, but it works really well for others.

  3. I have learned how easy it is to be me. That however tough it feels sometimes, my friends and family and society at large really give me no flack for being who I am. Many, many people are not so lucky. All of us have struggled and to varying degrees continue to struggle to figure out just who our “authentic” self is. This journey of self-realization and self-actualization is made infinitely more challenging for people who find that their truest expression of self is not a version that is readily acceptable to the world at large. I have learned what hardship is, what discrimination is, what hope is, what courage is.

  4. ”That I could actually LIKE weddings. I used to find them annoying because it was always the same old boring shit. But OBB taught me that weddings don’t always suck!”

    oh my god you’ve sneaked inside my head and stolen my thoughts!!! when me and him started talking about getting hitched we both sorta kinda didn’t want to actually have a wedding, cause most irish weddings come out of the same identikit mould. we hate going to them unless it’s close friends, and we couldn’t think of one single aspect of them that we’d want ourselves. so finding OBB has been so amazing for me. and it’s not just the PMS talking here when i say that i never ever EVER come away from an OBB ogling session without tears in my eyes. the amount of awesomeness, love, camaraderie and general loveliness that eminates from OBB makes me weak ♥

  5. When you really have no idea what you’d like… it is perfectly FINE to allow someone else artistic freedom to plan your decorations and reception for you! Know that you trust them with your life (or your wedding day) and rest in the knowledge that it will be everything you NEVER dreamed of!

  6. that i am not the only person out there obsessed with weddings that truly represent the couples having them, and that it is ok if my fiance’ arent sure just how we are going to express ourselves yet

  7. I learned that I can have my wedding my way. I always assumed I knew what my wedding would be and I wasn’t all that excited (lots of people, white dress, small-town reception/dance, minister, tuxes, church). One of my first posts on OBT was about being excited to discover that there were options! Red dress, no tux, small wedding in an art gallery with only the guests we want. It is amazingly freeing to realize that my wedding will really be my wedding!

  8. That standing up to your family while still being gracious, loving and full of goodwill, telling them that certain things are not up for discussion but knowing when to compromise, is in fact an art form.

    That in some parts of the USA and world, it is in fact OK to have a cash bar (it would be beyond the pale in my social circle/family. Just not done). We still had an open bar, but I learned a lot about how it can be perfectly acceptable not to in some circles.

    Just how common non-white dresses are (previously it seemed like nobody in Western society ever wore anything but a white dress), but also how common it is for offbeat brides to still wear white.

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