Wedding-related spam: how much does it suck?

Guest post by Kit
Spam shirt available from RedBubble
Spam shirt available from RedBubble

According to The Knot, I'm 13 months away from my “dream day.” (Butterflies and sparkles and rainbows!) So I should start picking my colors to set the tone for my big day! (Is “drunk” a color?) I should also meet with a wedding planner. (Eh… I've watched The Wedding Planner.) Announce my engagement. (Ermegherd Ferrcberrk!) Envision my wedding style. (How about “Married”?) And start getting in shape. (HAH!)

Lordy. You go to David's Bridal once and suddenly your email inbox is turned into a spammy, weddingy, playground.

This e-mail irked me much more than any other of the countless spam emails I've gotten over the past year. I think it's because it assumes that I, as a bride, inherently want a color scheme, want to do everything the “right” way, and want to be a completely different person on my wedding day. Like I'm some magical nymph that will be swathed in white clouds and borne on a cloud to whisper vows in my true love's ear.

wedding spamGuess what just came to my spam inbox!? When really I just want to wear pink shoes and eat tacos and drink gin all night (my average Tuesday).

I know that The Knot thinks it's being helpful, and I'm sure it's helped a lot of people — heck, I know it's helped a lot of people. But I'm all set. Really. So, thanks, Knot… you're cute. That's cute, but I've got this. You just sit in a corner and contemplate chair covers while I look up random animal facts to include in our wedding program.

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Comments on Wedding-related spam: how much does it suck?

  1. OMG thank you! I feel like david’s bridal should post some kind of warning when they make you sign their crazy forms to try on a couple of dresses! “Please note:Whatever e-mail/phone number you give us will be assaulted no less than bi-weekly with sales pitches and giveaways for useless items”. [sigh]If I had a nickel for every call to offer me crystal goblets I’ve gotten, I could hire a giraffe to carry me down the aisle..

    • I’ve also gotten calls every single day for a week from a strange number at all times of day. Finally answered and it was men’s warehouse. -_-

      • I had to call the main David’s Bridal customer service (not the store you visited, they play dumb) and ask in a VERY serious voice to be taken off ALL call lists to get this to stop. They argued with me a bit, but I assured them my wedding would be fine without their help. Otherwise, yeah, it was like three calls a day. Arg. Also, be super careful with all the things you “win” from all the David’s Bridal minions, most of them are spam/scams. Though I did win a Mary Kay makeover, which was salespitchy but fun, and came with free makeup.

        • I’ve been married for a few weeks and their spam hasn’t stopped! I didn’t even buy a dress for them. It was a zoo when we were there and they didn’t have anything remotely interesting. Asking to unsub from their site doesn’t work. Guess I’ll need to call them and complain! I did get a free set of pearl earrings from one of the spam mailers, so not a complete loss…

    • After the first wedding I was in I got smart, cause you know…’s not just the bride they stalk at David’s Bridal…’s the entire wedding party. It was particularly annoying and exhausting getting their spam as I was single and not remotely thinking about romance and crap at the time.

      I set up a dummy email account and I used it for all that stuff going forward and gave them the number to a house phone I no longer have. I called THEM to check in with my dress once it was ordered to make sure everything was on schedule. I figured it was worth it to remember to be proactive and check in rather than give them my info to bombard me with solicitations.

      • Yes! I was a bridesmaid in my aunt’s wedding when I was fourteen and somehow the David’s Bridal spam got it mixed up, because I was completely bombarded with bride-targeted emails, phone calls, etc for months and months. Actually, to be more accurate, my mom was bombarded with it. She called DB repeatedly asking them to remove me from all the lists, and finally started answering phone calls with “She’s fourteen, you [creep]!” until it slowed down.

      • OMG I just want to say, please don’t give out your previous home or cell phone numbers to known spammers! I get calls for the lady who presumably had this number in the past from:

        -What sounds like family members or friends, a few of which didn’t understand the whole “I am not her and this is my phone number”. (them: “Ok, um, are you like, her landlord?” THAT IS NOT HOW PHONE NUMBERS WORK! I do not live where she lived!)

        -Collections agencies (they refuse to believe I’m not and nor have I ever been “Deidra”, and only *pretend* to take me off their call lists but call back constantly)

        -Telemarketers + robocallers, half of which hang up on me without even connecting me to a human or without acknowledging my requests to be removed from calling lists, and another 25% of which demand (robot, not even humans) that I call THEM back at blablabla phonenumber because it’s “an important business message”

        -TV/Internet companies (wanting to get paid for her SEVEN ACCOUNTS, yes really!)

        -THE RCMP!!! I told the constable to PLEASE tell her to stop giving out my number, once they found her. I figure they at least have a chance.

        So please please oh my god don’t give out a real legitimate phone number that another human being will have eventually and be tormented by callers for you. Give out a fax number or something. To a big company so it doesn’t wake someone up when they call at odd hours. Then nobody gets bothered.

        (and if you hear from Deidra, ask her to stop giving out my phone number. I’ve had it for two years and still get brand new callers)

        • Oh man….now, next time some dude yells his phone number out the car window at me, I know what I’m going to do with it.

        • this happens to me too but i get more legal related calls like how the person who used to have my number got into an accident without insurance/fake insurance card and gave my phone number has his contact which in nj is as bad as a dui and i had police calling me it was nuts and this guy still gives my number out to women he meets at bars who do not speak english as their first launage

    • Just an FYI to anyone going to David’s Bridal in the future: you don’t have to fill out every box on their form completely. It’s NOT required, no matter what they imply. I gave them only my (and his) names, phone#, our mailing address, and the date of our wedding.

      Also there is a check box on the intake form, to opt out of being contacted w/ offers and more spam. Double-check on the printout they give you that your clerk enters that opt-out correctly into their system; mine didn’t the first time, and I had to have her redo my info.

      It worked. I received a single, friendly followup phone call after 1 month, and never got any junk mail or phone spam from David’s at all.

      • In fact, on almost ANYTHING, you don’t have to give people all your information. I rarely give out my phone number and only my spam email on most forms. People just don’t question stuff enough! We were told that in France, the official warning about downloading illegally is given to you by registered mail so you have to sign for it to prove you’ve been served it. We told FH’s brother “Don’t sign for it then. Do you ever get GOOD news by registered mail?” He was stumped.

    • Please, please… Let me know if you hire that giraffe. I promise to be your personal ninja for lifetime if I can hug it.

    • Most of my calls were some poor Mary Kay consultant trying to tell me I’d “Won” a free makeover from a drawing (i didn’t know I was entered in) through David’s Bridal. After the fourth message in a week, I had to call her back to tell to “stop, just stop.”

      After that, I steered clear of giving out my info by not attending any bridal shows. Gak! I can only imagine my inbox after something like that! Though, to be fair, my sister did one last year before her wedding an actually did win all kinds of cool things… like both of their wedding rings!!

    • It’s gotten so bad that I have started answering unknown numbers on my cell with, “If this is David’s Bridal or Men’s Wearhouse, stop freakin’ calling us! Take us off your calling list now!” Even if I wanted to buy one of their cheaply made POS dresses, I wouldn’t simply out of disgust over the constant phone calls. Never give them your real number or email, even if you think you’re serious about using their company.

      • I will never buy anything from david’s bridal because I think spam is a bad business practice. I do however use their “dress your wedding” tool to make sure my ideas don’t look like crap, so I do get some of the spam. I just gave my cell phone number and after the first time mens wearhouse called I just added them to my nifty Mr. Number app and it hangs up on them every time they call… it’s great!

    • Adding to the conversation even though this thread is old, since the article showed up on my Facebook feed:

      I attended some local bridal fairs and I kept getting spammy phone calls about how I’d won something. I finally answered the call after recognizing the number and told them they had the wrong phone number (they DID call me by the wrong last name!). That was a few weeks ago, and after getting calls every other day, I haven’t heard from them since. Worth a try if you’re getting spammy calls.

  2. Wait, they can legally do that? My mother was always cringeworthy blunt when companies asked for her telephone number or email address. Her answer? “No.” I would be shrinking in my heels at the shocked look on the clerk’s face. She was always really nice about it, said with a smile as she paid for her merchandise, but…wow. They simply say “Telephone number?” as if it’s mandatory. I really don’t believe they ever expect to hear a no.
    I am cowardly and thus would provide fake information or avoid the store. 🙁

    • I used their online appointment scheduler thing and provided an e-mail (my spam account) for that. I think phone number was required to schedule the appointment that way as well.

  3. I can’t wait to finally get married just to delete all these websites and crap that fills up my inbox also! It seems that David’s Bridal is the culprit for most of it, but dang, had I known that at the time, I wouldn’t have signed up either. It’s ridiculous how much is generated, from one business. I’m glad I’m not the only one who is annoyed by this.

  4. YES to this post! I just unsubscribed from 3 different wedding sites today because they sent me at least one email every day and the emails were completely irrelevant.

  5. When my son was applying to colleges, we set up an email account just for all the forms and school inquiries, so his junk, personal and official emails wouldn’t get mixed up. I took the idea one further by creating what I call my “Oh, no you don’t!” email address. Anything that requires me to fill in my email address and is a potential for large amounts of unwanted crap and/or the surreptitious selling of my information, I give them my faux address. No worries. Bring it on wedding industrial complex, I have my own defense line!

    • My “send your crap here” email address is [myname]sjunkmail at wherever dot something. If a real person is going to be looking at it, I think it’s funny because they’ll either understand that I think their emails are junk, or they’ll think it’s a joke that my email address says “junk mail” in it.

    • I did the separate email thing for our wedding. All the wedding spam goes to it, as well as anything important for the day. The address will be deleted after the wedding stuff is over.

  6. I’m so intense about NOT spamming the people who follow Offbeat Bride via email that I obsessively go through our newsletter subscriber list and remove people who haven’t opened our emails in the last couple months. Unsubscribing from our newsletter is one-click easy, but some people are too lazy to do it… and so I do it for them! That’s how obsessed I am about not spamming.

    • I have to ask – how do you know who’s opened the email? I hope it’s from link clicking, not some creepy technology I didn’t know about!

        • What if I am using an email service or settings that blocks downloading external content in an email (e.g. images), as part of a routine security setup? It looks like MailChimp would be blocked, even though I read your update. :/

  7. I created an email account for all our wedding shite, that way we could both easily log in, and all wedding related emails (and spam) would go there. And boy does that account collect spam. 🙂

    Also, in case anyone hasn’t gone to David’s for the first time, but is planing to: you do not have to give your phone number. Each time they asked for it I said nicely: “Oh no thank you.”
    ie:”We need it for your profile.” “Oh, no thank you.” “But that’s how we create your profile, it’ll be hard for us to pull up your favorite dresses otherwise…” “Oh, I see, no thanks, I’d rather not.” *smile at them and say nothing else*

    You could also say: “Right… I don’t put my number on things like this.” “I don’t give away my number because I had a stalker” “My number is for business only” “I’m not comfortable giving you my phone number” “I prefer to communicate via email” Online forms get: 555-555-5555

    (btw I also asked my bridal assistant to write the dress numbers I liked on a card for me. She did it no problem. Then we tipped her $20. Now I can shop for used David’s Bridal dresses online)

    • You could also rock their world with a simple “I don’t have a phone/phone number”. They’ll be completely stumped and amazed. There’s no way to argue it or push it, either.

      • It would be really funny if you said this while texting on your phone, right in front of them.

  8. Writer Boy and I used the Knot for our wedding website (it was free). I was also annoyed by all the countdown to-do emails I received for the many things I had no intention of doing. I got calls form tux places, china places, makeup reps, travel people; I always “had to check with my fiance, I’ll call you back.”

    After the wedding, I was like “cool, no more of this shit!” Wrong. I started getting emails from The Nest and The Bump; oh hell no. Spam blocked.

      • Sadly, I had not discovered that yet. 🙁 I am, however, referring all my friends who are getting married to OBB so they can see ALL THE AWESOMENESS!!!

          • I am subscribed with mywedding for our wedsite, and I do get emails from them every few days. Eh, I’m not bothered, I just delete.

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