How weddings & masturbation are more related than you think

Updated Dec 28 2015
This book is available from Etsy seller TheOysterKnife
This book is available from Etsy seller TheOysterKnife

Oh hi there. I have a couple of topics I'd like to discuss: wedding planning and masturbation. (Stay with me, here!)

Of course Offbeat Bride is all about wedding planning, but sometimes we dip our toes (or fingers?) into sex. Today is one of those days, and today we're going to talk about how wedding planning and masturbation are more related than you might think.

Both are a little self-indulgent, but have value

Raise your hand if you have wedding guilt. Like, how is it ok that I'm spending this time and money planning a one-day event? How can I justify all this effort, when I could just go to the courthouse and sign some papers, and kiss and be done with it?

Well, here's the thing: weddings are a little self-indulgent. So is masturbation. But they both have tremendous value: one as a right of passage witnessed by your community. The other as a huge important form of self-care and physical release.

Self-indulgence, as with many gentle vices, are not only just fine in moderation — they're awesome. So plan that silly one-day party that has massive live meaning! Tuck into that bedroom for a little mid-day trot around the race track. You can feel ok about both.

Both can teach you a lot about yourself (and your partner)

Oh so you think you're just planning a wedding? Turns out wedding planning is a huge opportunity to learn about working together, budgeting, family dynamics, conflict resolution, communication styles, and a ton of other really super important stuff. Long term partnership is a long road, and these lessons will serve you well for years, about how you work, about how your partner works, and about how you work together.

And you think it's just wanking? HA! Turns out masturbation is actually a huge opportunity to learn about your body, your secrets, your desires, your unnecessary shames, and untold pleasures. Get your partner involved for added educational value: they watch and learn lessons that will serve you well for years, about how you work, how your partner works, and about how you work together.

Both can benefit from visual stimulus

Dudes, we don't call it "wedding porn" for nothing… images that inspire desire are a known phenomenon across both wedding planning and masturbation. What works for you?

Both can be helpful to blow off steam

Work got you down? Take a little spin through Offbeat Bride's steal-this-idea archives, or our real wedding features. Home got you down? Take a little spin through your own body, and see if you feel better on the other side.

Wedding planning got you down?! Well, you know what to do, right?


  1. This!!! What a great logical and much-needed message about why it's okay to not have wedding-guilt. Especially with folks racking up student debts and getting married a little later in life, I'm definitely noticing the "Is this elaborate event really necessary?" guilt-feelings become more common in my circle of friends. Not that we have to spend big to have a big day, but that planning an event together is a healthy and educational rite of passage – thank you for this!

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