Include letters from your wedding party in your wine box ceremony

Updated Oct 12 2015
Photos by: Erika Monaco
Photo by Erika Monaco

Makenna and Yvonne have lots of sweet moments at their Washington island wedding, but we loved this idea for those of you considering a wine box ceremony. Instead of just including their own letters to each other (to be opened after a designated period of time), they also asked their wedding party to contribute letters! Here is the excerpt from their ceremony, as read by their officiant:

In addition to these two letters written to one another, you requested that your wedding party members also write a letter expressing their thoughts about you both as individuals, as a couple, and to convey their best wishes to you about your future together. Please receive those letters now and place them in the box as well.

Get the tissue box ready when you open those, folks. Oh, and check out the full wedding story for the mini-prank played on Makenna during the wine pass!

  1. My only concern with this would be what happens in X years if you're no longer friends with members of your wedding party, or if some of them are dead. I've been in several weddings where the bride is no longer friends with one or more of the bridesmaids. That problem seems common enough that it almost has seemed like a curse. I think it's even been discussed here too.

    So if you open your wine box, will seeing those letters ruin the joy of opening the box? Is that bittersweet factor part of the process of the wine box ceremony no matter what? I've never seen any feedback from people who have been married X years and opened their box (Offbeat editors, that would be a great post) to know how it feels or whether or not they're happy they decided to do that.

    • Hm, I don't know if I have enough for a guest post, but I can share my tidbit of experience:

      My ex and I did the wine box. We wrote letters on our wedding day, and our first and second anniversaries. We only made it a few months past our second anniversary, and by the time we thought we were in enough trouble to break out the box, it was already too late. We'd built a relationship together that was unhealthy for both of us, and eventually things got so shaky that it only took a little push for the whole thing to come crashing down. Reading the letters just made the process more painful, instead of inspiring us to fix it.

      As far as our wedding party is concerned … now that the relationship is over, everyone has told me that they really weren't comfortable with our relationship in the first place, and they really didn't like my ex much. But, I seemed happy, so they were happy for me. I'm only still in contact with half of the wedding party: my maid of honor, my two brothers, and um, I'm now dating one of his groomsmen. Hooray, life is messy!

      I still like the idea of the wine box, but I'd suggest reading the letters at least every year, or even having them available to be read any time one of the partners needs a romantic pick-me-up/reminder. There were a few times that I wanted to read the letters in the box, but got a "No, we can't! We have to wait until our 5th anniversary!" in response. If you're going to include letters from other people, make sure that they're 100% behind your relationship first, or that could get awkward.

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