OPEN THREAD: Would you have a weekday wedding?

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10My love has his mind set on getting married on a weekday – that is, on the day of our fifth anniversary, the 1st of April, 2014. A FREAKING TUESDAY!

I would love to get married on our anniversary, it's so meaningful. I know that many of our friends don't have plain regular Mo-to-Fr-9-to-5-jobs and would nevertheless have to schedule a leave day from their jobs (doctors, musicians, and so on). I know that many people will have to travel to attend our wedding and that I would be heartbroken if some can't make it. We're just not the kind of people who would enjoy a wedding ceremony and supper and then go to bed – we love to party, but we don't (he doesn't) want to party on the 36th of Whatnot, as if it were any kind of birthday party or something.

Would you have your wedding on a weekday? Would you, as a guest, attend a wedding on a weekday? -restlesshedonist

Ooh, we love this idea — and in fact Offbeat Bride has a whole archive of midweek weddings! That said, there certainly are some special considerations, including travel and partying.

We'd love to hear from those of you who had or are planning midweek weddings — did you get many guests saying they couldn't come? Did you party late into the night even though it was a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday?

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Comments on OPEN THREAD: Would you have a weekday wedding?

  1. We got married on a Monday. It was a Stat holiday and we had only 18 guests, all of whom we knew were not working on the Stat holiday. We didn’t chose the day based on the financial benefit of a weekday, but it was a nice bonus!

  2. We are getting married on a Tuesday next month. We have a guest list of 68 people so far, so it’s actually worked out well. I did have to deal with a lot of people (mostly my own family) complaining about it being in the middle of the week and them having to miss work, but considering I gave them 8 months notice (I sent my invites WAY early), I’m not that broken up about it. I agree with some of the sentiments above; if they want to be there, they will be there.

  3. I’d like to respectfully disagree with the people saying, “If people really want to be there, they will make it work.”
    For me, a Tuesday wedding that I would have to travel to would mean taking Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off of work. That would mean 3 days of lost income, plus the travel costs, plus the wedding-guest costs, plus finding someone to watch my dog/house/et cetera. That is not even including the fact that depending on how things are at my job, there are times where my request for time off would be denied, so it would mean losing my job to go to the wedding. I have had to miss weddings of people who are incredibly important to me because they were on Fridays or Mondays. It wasn’t “I don’t care enough so I’m not going to try to make it,” it was, “If I go to your wedding I am jeopardizing my livelihood. I love you so much, but I have to take care of myself.”

    That being said, I think the best way to do things are to check with your nearest and dearest, the people you don’t just want to be there, but need to be there, about the date before you book things. After that, if you do go for that Tuesday, do your best to understand that people who can’t come aren’t doing it because they don’t care or don’t want to be a part of your big day, it isn’t personal, they can’t come because they just can’t.
    Good luck!

  4. my thought is why not make it legal on your anniversary and then have the reception on the weekend so you can party all you want. But that’s just my opinion… I feel like it would be really hard to party all you want on a week day.

  5. While it’s not midweek, we did opt to go for a Friday wedding, as opposed to a weekend wedding. As many others have been saying – it’s a lot cheaper! Our venue’s ‘minimum guest’ count was half what it was for Saturdays, which meant about $2000 of savings for us in room rental fees, etc. I also wanted to keep the guest list to a minimum, and because people will have to take time off in order to come, we will get fewer people who will come unless they really want to be there. Win win!

  6. We got married on our 10th Anniversary, which happened to fall on a Thursday. It was really handy, because we only had a very small wedding (18 people including ourselves), so we were able to negotiate with vendors who would probably have otherwise not wanted to deal with us.

    In the end, everyone we invited attended, except our grandparents, who were unable to travel. We gave everyone heaps of notice and specified on all our save the dates and invitations that it was a Thursday.

    It probably helped that no one had to travel to be there, and everyone was either on uni holidays or able to get a few days off work. In fact, most people took the Thursday and Friday off and had a long weekend! It also gave us a reason for keeping the guest list small.

  7. I’d happily attend a weekday wedding, using a day or two of annual leave isn’t going to bother me too much, especially if I know well in advance

  8. Rock the Tuesday, and enjoy it! I am going to be a Tuesday bride myself (11/12/13). Our wedding will be mid-sized (75 guest invited, large seeming for us) and it will be with wedding/reception in a local San Diego boutique hotel. Because we are doing the weekday? Not only did we get a winter rate on the space, but also a discount because we avoided the weekend! I was worried about this until someone said, “Have your wedding! If people want to come, they will come, especially if they won’t miss it.” So do what you do what you do! Every one of our friends and family just think it is the funnest date they’ve heard, and it fits with our oh-so-nerdy and academic personas (ascending number order to go with our Retro Whovian themed wedding, for their is order in the galaxy..perhaps!)

  9. I wouldn’t consider it unless nearly everyone was local. I think if no one at all has to travel more than a day to get to the wedding, and there are no other weekday events planned that would require time off work (ie, you are only asking people to take one day), it’s okay. For us, 2/3 of the guest list will be traveling and staying at least one night and some more because it’s so far away, so it has to be a weekend so they don’t have to miss work.

    One of my partner’s close friends is getting married on a Wednesday. He’s a groomsman, and he’ll be there, but he’s missing the rehearsal dinner and bachelor party. He will be missing two days of classes to get there, and I’m not going at all, because it’s a weekday.

    I think if you get married on a weekday, you have to expect most of the out-of-towners may not come. If that’s fine, then you can save a lot of money that way.

    I’d have no problem with a weekday local wedding and taking 1 day off for it. That’s not an issue at all, to my mind.

    • Agreed completely. As I mentioned in my comment, my fiance and I have zero family members within a few hundred miles of us, and only 3 or 4 friends who are local (we just moved where we are about a year ago). Having a weekday wedding would not happen for us unless we had most of our family and friends within an easy car ride from us… but we don’t!

  10. It’s totally up to the couple, but I wouldn’t have a wedding on a weekday because I want as many of my loved ones to come to the wedding as possible. I have zero family within 200 miles of us, and my fiance has no family within 800 miles of us… so travel, days off of work, etc. would be such a pain for our family and friends.

    My cousin is getting married on November 7th this year, a Thursday, and since I live 2500 miles from where the wedding is AND I just started a new job (minimal vacation days accrued at the moment), I’m not going and they completely understand.

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