OPEN THREAD: Would you have a weekday wedding?

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10My love has his mind set on getting married on a weekday – that is, on the day of our fifth anniversary, the 1st of April, 2014. A FREAKING TUESDAY!

I would love to get married on our anniversary, it's so meaningful. I know that many of our friends don't have plain regular Mo-to-Fr-9-to-5-jobs and would nevertheless have to schedule a leave day from their jobs (doctors, musicians, and so on). I know that many people will have to travel to attend our wedding and that I would be heartbroken if some can't make it. We're just not the kind of people who would enjoy a wedding ceremony and supper and then go to bed – we love to party, but we don't (he doesn't) want to party on the 36th of Whatnot, as if it were any kind of birthday party or something.

Would you have your wedding on a weekday? Would you, as a guest, attend a wedding on a weekday? -restlesshedonist

Ooh, we love this idea — and in fact Offbeat Bride has a whole archive of midweek weddings! That said, there certainly are some special considerations, including travel and partying.

We'd love to hear from those of you who had or are planning midweek weddings — did you get many guests saying they couldn't come? Did you party late into the night even though it was a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday?

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Comments on OPEN THREAD: Would you have a weekday wedding?

  1. I had mine on a Thursday. It was way less $$$ for the venue than the same place on a weekend. We did have quite a number of people who couldn’t make it due to it being on a weekday, yes. I think we had about 50% attendance from the number we invited.

    • Another Thursday wedding here (10-11-12). The weekday was awesome for money savings, and worked for us because we wanted to keep the party small. We told everyone we knew as soon as we had set the date (WAY ahead of any kind of STDs) so that it wouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, and we made peace with the fact that some who we would have liked to see there weren’t going to be able to make it. We also had a bunch of last minute cancellations – though it mostly worked out, because friends who brought unexpected dates weren’t just out of luck. We started at 6 and ended by 11, told people not to dress up or just to come in their work clothes, and generally tried to be as accommodating to people’s schedules as possible. It was a fantastic time, and the people who were most important to us would have come no matter when/where we did it.

      So yes – be prepared for some not to come, but definitely don’t be scared away by a weekday if that’s the date you want. It’s totally doable!

      • I would just like to Thank you! I’m kind of struggling with the fact of having a Tuesday wedding!!! I’m huge on family and would like for all to make it… but reading your story made me feel so much better! Thank you!
        I believe you are right. The ones that matter most will come no matter the date!

    • Ours is on a Thursday as well (two weeks today!) simply because it was cheaper and there’s less competition for venues and other things on weekdays. Some of my less-close friends aren’t coming, citing that they can’t get the day off work. All my closest friends and family are coming though and my boss might even close the place I work for the day so that all my colleagues can come 🙂

      My view is that the people that matter the most will be there regardless. Just give plenty of notice.

  2. I’ve been a guest a weekday wedding. It was my cousin’s wedding and took place on a Friday. Plus side was we got to spend the whole weekend with family but it did mean having to take time off work to attend. Travel wasn’t an issue as we’re local to them but for my own wedding, with family and friends being invited from all over, I don’t consider it an option. That said, if a venue had a major discount for a weekday wedding then I might consider it.

  3. Personally, I wouldn’t have my wedding on a weekday. But that’s only because a lot of my guests are traveling and a Tuesday wedding would mean multiple days to take off of work. But really it’s about your guest list. Do you think a lot of people won’t be able to make it? What’s more important to you – having that meaningful wedding date, or the people who won’t make it? If it’s only a few fringe relatives that won’t make it then totally go for it!

    And for what’s it’s worth – I would 100% attend a weekday wedding, even if it was across the country and I had to take a whole week off work for it. If it was someone I really cared about nothing would stop me from attending! I’m sure your nearest and dearest would say the same 🙂

  4. I’m doing this – partially for money reasons, as vendors are a lot easier to book and often much cheaper on weekdays, and also because it is the smallest wedding we could have without eloping. (There are 8 people, including the photographer and us. TINY.)

    We’re getting married on a Wednesday, and for very small weddings with budget-conscious priorities it can be a very good option to consider. However, doing weekdays with a much bigger party can be tricky for guests.

    Here’s an idea: why don’t you get legally married on your anniversary, and have a celebration on a day that’s convenient for all your guests? It’s worth considering splitting up your day.

    • We ended up eloping on a weekday and no one could attend. So we’re having a Saturday night celebration in a month or so. Not too big, but definitely a way to get some wedding pics and show some love to those who couldn’t be there.

    • This is what we’re doing. The ceremony will be on a Thursday (our anniversary-of-meeting), and will be very small (immediate family only, all of whom are local). Then the big party will be the following Saturday, to make travel/time off a wee bit easier for folks coming in from further away.

      Also, two friends of mine married each other on a Wednesday many years ago, because they wanted the date. Their wedding was quite well-attended, and many of us came from out of state.

    • That’s what we did. We had a courthouse wedding on a Tuesday (the day before Halloween). My parents, brother, and grandmother were able to come and we had dinner at a nice restaurant afterwards.

      Our reception was two weeks ago on a Saturday (very close to the anniversary of the day we met). We made it clear that it was going to be a casual picnic-in-the park party in order to avoid any hurt feelings or confusion from guests expecting a more traditional wedding ceremony. The turnout was great and we even had several family members come in from out of state, so we had a family reunion type vibe, too.

      An added bonus was that since we were already married, the stress level was way down. I just had to deal with the anxiety of throwing a party and baking the cakes.

  5. We had our wedding on a Thursday, because the reception hall waved the $4,000 rental fee for weekdays! We invited 150-ish guests and almost all came, even from far away. We did a lot of extra things for the ones who had to take time off for travel… we had other events all weekend for them, and included them in parts of the ceremony and “production” of the wedding…. and generally made sure the visit was worth their while. I would do it again 🙂

  6. We had our wedding on a Monday, but that was mostly due to saving money. It was cheaper to have it on a Monday in June than to have it on a weekend in April. Go figure. We did have some saying they couldn’t make it, but I think the main reason for people not attending was cost. We booked a block of rooms at a great rate (for the area) but even then people found it too expensive. We could only party until 9:30, but that was also a time limit the venue set. I would have been happy to stay another hour or so, but we had to be out on time or incur more costs.

  7. I totally got married on a tuesday, not only that, but it was the week of Christmas! There was definitely a few people that were not able to make it. In the end I was able to marry my best friend in a gorgeous location on a day important to both of us. My best suggestion is to put out Save the Dates as soon as you can so people that are important to you can make plans to get off of work and travel!

  8. I got married on April 1st this year – which was a monday. We were lucky though, as it was a bank holiday. Though we did move it so more people could come. Our original date (a tuesday) was a day that meant more to us (though we grew to love the idea of a wedding on april fools day) but we realised that it was more important to us that we made it easier for the people we wanted there to attend.

  9. Heck yea! We’re getting married on a Tuesday. If guests want to come, they’ll be there END-OF-STORY.

    • Well… if they can. I would probably not be able to attend a Tuesday wedding unless it was in the same town where I live and work. It would have nothing to do with how much I love the people getting married, and everything to do with my lack of vacation time. I do work weekends, but only once a month, and I could trade people to get the correct weekend off, but I work nearly every Tuesday and Wednesday.

  10. We got married on a Thursday because our venue was half off (a savings of over $2000!). It worked out well for us, and we only had maybe 5 or 6 guests out of ~70 who couldn’t come because of the weekday. We gave guests plenty of notice by sending out STDs 6 months out and invites 3 months out. We suspect we also get a better deal on vendors and more availability because of our weekday date. Our reception went until 11:30 or so but because of the weekday a lot of folks didn’t want to stay late into the night to party, which was kind of a bummer. I don’t know how it would work to do something mid-week (Mon-Wed), since there’s more flexibility around taking off work Thursday afternoon or Friday rather than earlier in the week.

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