What if my wedding sucks?

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I recently got an email from a reader looking for help dealing with “mind-numbing paranoia and fear” about her wedding. Here’s my advice:

…oh, and here’s the book I mention.

Comments on What if my wedding sucks?

  1. When my sister was getting married, my Maid of Honor mantra was “There is no way to have a perfect wedding, but there are a million ways to have a great one.” Even though it didn’t go completely according to plan, she did have a great wedding, and most importantly, she now has a great marriage.

  2. So, our wedding had many, many things that didn’t go according to plan. One of the attendants fell while walking down the aisle. Mother Nature decided to kick up her heels and blow insane amounts of wind at us, causing the arbor we were standing under to fall down (twice), sending our decorative throw pillows cartwheeling into an open field, and wrapping up the groomsmen in a throw rug. Our videographer’s camera fell down and broke, and our pastor had to stuff the communion bread in his pocket and hold onto the wine to keep them from blowing away. But we laughed, and it was a great day in spite of the things that went wrong. Just try to keep a light-hearted spirit, and make sure to keep a video camera running, so you can send any mishaps into America’s Funniest Home Videos!

  3. Ariel, it’s just so lovely to look at you and hear you speak. You have such a nice voice and happy aura. I could listen to you for hours!

  4. One of the best decisions that I made was to stop trying to have THE BEST WEDDING EVAR! and just have a wedding that was *us*. I dropped a lot of time-consuming DIY details and we ended up having a pretty normal reception (food! drinking! dancing!) and we focused on what really meant something to us — the ceremony and the music. It was the best decision we could have made. And do you know what? A lot of people told us that it WAS the best wedding ever. But not because we tried to make it that way, but because we were happy.

  5. I think this is also a symptom of having attended many weddings. I was 21 (!) when my husband and I got married, so I hadn’t really attended that many weddings at that point. I didn’t have the chance to gather “wedding intelligence” at various friends’ and family members’ weddings and decide exactly how I wanted my wedding.

    I was blissfully unaware of what others were doing for their weddings, so I just did what I liked. Yeah, there were a few minor mishaps, but it was a lovely wedding, and it was OURS. 🙂

  6. When I think back on all the weddings that went “perfectly” I can barely remember a single detail. “Disastrous” weddings, on the other hand, are way more memorable and a lot like marriage itself, I’d imagine… full of unexpected surprises, and ideally, built on a foundation of love. Thanks for posting this, Ariel. VERY inspirational. (p.s. – love the flower painting in the b/g)

  7. Oh man, you are adorable.

    And I agree completely- there is no epic fail when it comes to weddings. Providing the actual marriage happens, everything else can be coped with!
    We were pretty luck all-in-all our disasters were ssmall: my wedding cake was a heaping mess, we had friends that got so drunk they neglected to look after their children and argued with all the other guests (some of them still don’t speak 18mnths later!), and my 4 yr old son broke his leg on the bouncy castle! But even with those mishaps it was still the most perfect day of my life and I generally only remember the good bits.
    And the very best bit? I’m married!

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