I got married in May of this year.
There were many people I could not invite to our wedding ceremony for various reasons, mostly to do with size and budget.
I would like to send them a card with a couple of pics to let them know we got married, but I am not sure how to word the cards.
I would like to let them know we are thinking of them even, if we couldn't invite everyone we know to the wedding. I don't know how to do wedding announcement wording that won't piss people off!
Here's your challenge: how to share your good news about your wedding day without making people who weren't invited feel like A) they were excluded from the good times, or B) you expect anything from them.
In other words, you want to share the news with folks who didn't get a wedding invitation, but you want to do it without bragging or making it seem like you're fishing for gifts.
Urg. It's a delicate balance, to be sure. Let's talk through some options that may help you reduce hurt feelings from unintived guests.
OPTION 1: Post your wedding announcement on social media
One easy way to get around awkward feelings is just to quietly post a photo on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok — whichever social media platforms you know your friends and family use. This is especially great for COVID weddings, private weddings, and elopement announcements. Just post a lovely photo, and call it good. No need to send anything. Folks either see it or they don't, and no one worries about a gift grab.
Your social media wedding announcement wording could be as casual and simple as this sample:
[Partner's names] are happy to announce we are now married!
On [day of week], [date] at [location], we exchanged vows.
It was an intimate ceremony, but we look forward to celebrating in person when we see you next!
OPTION 2: Email your marriage announcements
If you want to be a bit more direct, but don't want to print an announcement, you're wise. Remember that for some people, anything wedding-related that shows up in their snail mailbox triggers feelings of a gift-grab.
As one Offbeat Bride reader said:
I have gotten printed wedding announcements in the mail before and there wasn't one time I didn't think, “Great. Now I have to get a gift.” Never once did I think “Oh darn! I wish I could have gone to their wedding!” Or even “Gee I'm so happy for them.” Nope, it was always straight to “Shit, will a nice frame do?” (LOL — what does that say about me??)
I think I wouldn't have that reaction if I got an *email* announcement, especially if it appeared to come just to me from my friend – like a “catch-up” email. Or even a hand-written note. But there's something about any type of printed announcement that seems “formal” and triggers the old school rules about gift-giving.
This is where email announcements can be great, and you know what? They've gotten REALLY cute. Look:
OPTION 3: Ok, you're going to send a printed card, and now you want wedding announcement wording examples
Ok, so you really really want to send out paper cards. We respect that! Here are a few wording suggestions for how to announce your wedding to folks who weren't invited
Let's talk about the etiquette around what information to include on wedding announcement cards:
- Full names of the couple
- Wedding date
What NOT to include? Anything about gifts.
Wedding announcement wording example: the family method
One way to get around the awkwardness is to have your parents issue the announcements. Traditionally with more formal weddings, this was done by the bride's parents who hosted, but these days anything goes.
Obviously, this only works if it's mostly family and family friends who you want to reach, but the advantage here is that it comes off just as parental pride, instead of you being like OMG Y'ALL WE DID THIS AWESOME THIIIIING AND TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T THERE LA LA LAAAA!
Here's a wording example:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents
are proud to announce
the marriage of their daughter
Mr. Your Partner's Name
on Saturday, June 4th, 20XX
Wedding announcement wording example: new home method
If you and your partner are moving in together for the first time after your wedding, you can bundle the announcement in with announcing your new address. This way it's less about the wedding, and more about “Hey, we moved because we got married!”
Aim for a card design that's more about announcing a move than a marriage. (Vistaprint has super cheap, customizable options.) Here's a wording idea:
It's been a busy time for us!
We were married on
Saturday, June 4th, 20XX
We're beginning a new life together
in our new residence:
1234 Our Street
Austin, Texas 78704
Please update your address books!
Do note that if you're trying to avoid looking like you want a gift, this method is a bit risky. You're including your address, which could be seen as a request to be mailed something. It's up to you as to whether that feels right.
Airmail Wedding Announcement Postcards – $53.00
Wedding announcement wording example: “cut the shit, let's be straight-forward” method
So you want to tell your friends (so the family method won't work), you've lived together for years (so the moving method won't work), and you don't want to play games. Just be honest with your guests. Here's one way of wording it:
With great joy we announce that
we were married on
Saturday, June 4th, 20XX
in Austin, Texas
Our painfully intimate [guest list/budget/venue/whatever]
meant there were many loved ones
we were not able to invite to our wedding celebration.
We deeply missed having you there,
but you were in our hearts.
We love you.
We miss you.
We hope to see you soon!
Gold Rush Foil-Pressed Wedding Announcement
Looking for more wedding invitation wording samples and advice, or reception only invitation wording?