My Vows-First Wedding #Ceremony Advice#writing vows Posted Jan 15 2020 Guest post by Navkat Photos by Tales of Light Photography. Enjoy the whole gallery from Devon and Ricky's romantic wedding. I'm soooo tired of the wedding thing: the planning, the stressing, the fears that I'm not doing it right…and for what? By making my wedding unusual, authentic, personal, and different — okay, offbeat — I'm already almost guaranteeing that it won't meet everyone's expectations. That's why I'm making mine a vows-first wedding. The whole point of the wedding is to satisfy a personal need for ritual and ceremony. That's what tells us, our friends, our family, and our community that this is relationship is different. This is the One, and we want everyone to know it. A wedding is a life event worth marking with a ceremony that's personal. Then why does the exchange of vows and the chosen ritual to seal the deal always have to be comprised of the same elements? Why does it seem like even offbeat weddings are sometimes the same thing, just in different shapes and colors? Think about it: You have a bride, a dress, a cake, rings, flowers and a bunch of maids or ushers. What about the whoopee-cushions and the official taco-fights? If making the wedding "offbeat" means that it's more personalized and therefore authentic, why do the same type of elements need to keep repeating themselves, with different themes? Does that mean these elements are universals that apply to the majority of the population? Or is it just habit? If we're really ready to rewrite the rules here, isn't it safe to say that the only ceremony element that really should remain universal is the actual exchange of vows? Vows: the heart of the wedding That's why I say this: Get the vows right first. Offbeat Bride has lots of great vow examples to inspire you. Perfect the vows first and let the rest of the wedding grow from there! Maybe you picked out your ideal wedding gown when you were twelve, or your intended has been thinking about the cake ever since you first proposed. …Nothing wrong with that! The gown and the cake won't clash with your vows. In fact, by starting with your vows, you can bypass the whole question of whether your tablecloths should be teal or peacock, unless you really enjoy obsessing over those details. But if you get the vows right, then the rest can follow on its own… Or not! It won't matter at that point, because you've already covered the most important part of the day. So write your vows first! More about how to write your wedding vows: Hilarious, tear-jerking, and realistic wedding vow ideas from readers Steal these wedding vows 6 tricks for personalizing your vows Write heartfelt, sniffle-worthy wedding vows Geeky wedding vows Related Post 6 tricks for personalizing your vows for maximum belly laughs and soggy hankies We already know lots of ways to write your wedding vows and to get over your vow writer's block, so we're going to focus on where to find inspiration to… Read More Guest post written by Navkat I deal with monsters by shutting my eyes tight and petting them like puppies. https://twitter.com/navkat PREVIOUS A sweet Philadelphia elopement with an homage to some of the best photo spots in Philly NEXT Why doesn't anyone talk about how AWKWARD weddings feel? Show/Hide comments [ 0 ] Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.