Video advice

July 13 2007 | arielmstallings

So, here's an experiment for you — instead of writing my advice, I decided to try just doing it via video. Lemme know what you think of the format.

My fiancé's family (mother, father, brother etc.) are protesting our wedding. They say it is not because of us, it is because they do not believe in gay marriage (ass-holes!) How do we go about filling in the holes? we are both very close with my family and they will be playing major roles in the wedding. We are having a hard time incorporating my family without putting a huge red spotlight on my fiancé's lack of family. For clarification, my fiancé considers herself the Groom, and me the Bride, which only matters in terms of roles her family would have filled. -Lara

Offbeat Bride Advice #1 from arielmeadow and Vimeo.

  1. been reading for awhile, but this is my first comment.

    just wanted to say the video advice was really refreshing. i think it was the my little pony demonstration 😛

    anyway, love the book, love the blog — awesome!

  2. Wow thanks! I really like the wedding in the round idea. A huge fear of mine is that we will be answering questions about why her family is not there through the whole wedding. But if it doesn't look like they should be there noone will even notice that they are not.

    I really appreciate it!

    Oh, and your dog is adorable!

  3. I like reading things better than viewing a video. However, I love your site so much that whatever helps you maintain this project is really the most important thing.

    I love your book (I've already read it a few times) and this site and are helping me remain relatively sane while planning my wedding.

    Keep up the good work!

  4. I love the video!

    I've been reading this for a while now, and I will totally buy the book in the future (I'm not getting married for another three years or something, boooo). But yeah, more videos please!

  5. I love the video post – especially the My Little Pony demonstration.

    Also, I just finished reading the book (a gift from my future brother in law). I'm now convinced that you and I are kindred wedding spirits or something. I had so many of the same thoughts in my planning process, it was almost scary.

  6. My computer at work is sloooowww and without sound, so the video doesn't work for me. But then again, maybe I shouldn't be surfing the web at work!

    By the way, I just got your book and I really love it. It's helped me re-connect to my original offbeat vision of our wedding (that somehow got lost along the way.) Thanks!

  7. I found this site at the start of the year when my long term boyfriend proposed; and the say the least it tickles me pink.

    This comment is mostly directed at Lara…I'm pretty much going through something similar with my family and my future husband's family. His parents are divorced and his father doesn't want to come because his mother and sister will be attending; and my family informed me that they would rather be working than come to my wedding.

    So he and I have had two ideas, the wedding will be very little family and all friends or witnesses only and then we tell the family to get screwed and bugger off on a honeymoon.

    PS. I’m Australian so the spelling and slang might be a bit off.

    Wish you all the best

  8. Video posts: AWESOME! I vote for more. 🙂

    A note to Lara: if your partner's family's absence is that conspicuous, it would pretty inconsiderate for anyone to ask two you about it. Family is a sensitive topic for a lot of people, and that's a really personal (and potentially hurtful) question to be asking, so if anyone does–THEY are being pretty rude. I suspect that Miss Manners would say the same, and advise you to simply answer with "they were unable to attend," if someone DOES ask. It's not the WHOLE truth, but it's truthful nonetheless: they were unable to attend because they couldn't remove their heads from their asses.

  9. Ariel, I don't know how to say this without sounding like a stalker, but here goes: you are freaking fabulous! I totally want to be your friend! *smiles* You are so intelligent, immensely helpful in the insanity that is the wedding planning world, and super fun. I loved the video because it lets us see even more of your personality (and your dog!)– I hope to see more. And I swear I'm not a stalked, just an avid fan. 😉

  10. Ariel,
    You rock! I'm getting married in October and became addicted to your blog after purchasing and reading your book earlier this year. (I'll probably continue to read it even after the wedding)!

    It sounds like you've got a lot of your plate right now, but please please please continue to update the blog as much as possible!

  11. Holy shit your dog is the best.

    My vote for the video blog =] it was a success!

    i wish i was friends with the "groom" so i could go lol it sounds like such fun

    Love and Lipstick,

  12. The video blog was great at demonstrating the circular "corral" ceremony. Would be great to use more tags for easier searching.

    Thanks so much for your inspiring work, book, and website. You're filling a void, and we appreciate your creativity, thoughts and ideas.

  13. Thank you all for helping me to realize that if people notice Sam's folks will look like the assholes. The truth is they would not appreciate our freakfest of a wedding and would probably kill some of the barefoot, hula hooping, fire stick, star trek cake topper fun. Really, thanks to all!


  14. Ariel,

    Love the video. One suggestion, we out here in la-la land think you're speaking to us so please look at the camera. You're a cutie-pie and shouldn't be self-conscious.

    Lara, it sounds like you're going to have a really wonderful wedding. Someday your in-laws will come to their senses and regret their decision. They are right when they say it isn't the two of you, it is them and they should be ashamed. Ariel's suggestions are spot on and I agree with Molly.

    I'm glad to have found this website. I'd much rather read advice from a real, grounded individual than some Thurston Howell III wannabe (Gilligan's Isle reference, youngn's).

  15. The "corral style" (and forgive me for being nerdy) really reminded me of the commitment ceremony of Pedro on real world 'Frisco. It was an idea that was pretty ahead of its time back when that aired, but I remember them just being surrounded by everyone and I don't recall if there was family there or not. As for being afraid of people asking questions, I don't think she really has to worry about that. Most people have an idea that isms against gay marriage exist, so I don't think anyone invited to the wedding would be so rude or callous to point it out.

    Ariel, your advice rocks, this site is awesome. I am full of lurve for the offbeat brides.

  16. A total hit!!!! I adore your book and have recently become addicted to the website/blogger society! Thank you for stepping out of the social norm, you rock!!!

  17. Lara just have a big party with lots of friends and family who want to be there no sides just a bunch of people who love you both!

    More power to you If people are silly enough to miss out on their Children's special days for any reason they are the sad ones who will lose out. Have fun just turn up and get married that is the important thing.

    Cheers from an old Australian bloke 😉

    PS as for how you fill in the holes? That is not a question happy couples hetro or gay should have to ask !

  18. To Luara, I can't add anything to the brilliantly supportive comments others have already left. But I will say this: the rest of the world is rooting for you honey! Pick whatever suits you two best, rock it, roll it, and have no regrets about it!

    To Ariel, loved the video. Don't care about where you are looking. Loved to see the smart and pretty brain behind my life line in action.
    My only question: where can you find a cheap, stable, easy "stage" to perform a wedding in the round for 500 people in a park? I'm worried about people being able to see and hear. I thought about a picnic table, but that sounds dangerous because I'm a clutz.


    P.S. Loved the book. Continue to read it over again for cheerleading and inspiration. Highly recommend to any and all brides.

  19. Ariel, my question about weddings in the round is this: how do you keep from having your back to someone? Do you keep turning around?

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