Realizing I can’t do it all on the wedding day: A “Type A” bride’s crisis

Guest post by Danielle K.

Batman garterOooh boy. I never realized how “Type A” I can be until I started planning a wedding.

For example, my fiancé and I are currently agonizing over photographers, and DJs, and stuff. We found a great center that will arrange everything for you — the only catch is that you don't get to meet with your photographer until a week before the wedding, after you've signed a contract!

Now that's probably alarming to more people than just me, but it's bringing into focus something that's been quietly stressing me out about the whole shindig from the moment I realized it:

I can't actually DO everything on my wedding day.

I'm the kind of person who wants to be deeply involved in every event I plan. I am a band director for a program that sends me to seven different schools a week — so I am always setting up, decorating, and running concerts, pageants, and band parties. With my supervisor (who happens to be my dad) I hook up the sound system and make sure everything works. I do the sound check. I make sure the chairs are set up right and everyone is seated properly.

It's giving me an inordinate amount of stress to know that I can't actually be the one cuing the music during our wedding ceremony. I can't be the one decorating the tables at the reception hall. I can't sit with the DJ and make sure he picks the perfect sequence of songs to follow one another (and turns down distasteful requests). I can't be behind the lens of the camera, finding every moment to capture. And all of that is making me cringe!

Fellow Type-A brides: How are you handling having to relinquish control of your wedding day to other people? Is anyone else finding this to be a sticking point for them, or am I just particularly control-hungry?

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