What Gilmore Girls can teach us about proposals

Guest post by PopFunk
This is what a Gilmore Girls proposal with a thousand yellow daisies looks like. (Photo courtesy of GilmoreMemories.com)
This is what a Gilmore Girls proposal with a thousand yellow daisies looks like. (Photo courtesy of GilmoreMemories.com)

I recently watched the Gilmore Girls episodes where Lorelai is proposed to by Max, twice. Once is half-jokingly, to which she responds that a proposal should be romantic with horses and daisies. The second is when Max has exactly 1,000 yellow daisies sent to her. For those who don't know, it never worked out for those two. She just didn't know him and they weren't right for each other.

It made me realize that, over the years, I've had quite a jaded understanding of proposals. First of all, too many movies and shows have proven that grand gestures are accepted, and proposals in pajamas (as ours was) really aren't done.

I was engaged at 21 to someone I met online and dated for six months. Our proposal story was something to tell. He chose eight special places to visit (all “milestones” of our relationship), concluding with a moonlit mountain-top proposal. It was an awesome story to tell people, but as our engagement commenced, it became blindingly obvious that he and I were just not meant to be. We were both more in love with the idea of each other than who we actually were.

Years later, when my now-husband proposed to me in the lounge room of my government-issued-teaching-housing home, of course I said yes.

Was it romantic? Of course it was. Okay, so he didn't go to huge lengths, make me some impressive piece of art, or ask me on top of a mountain. And recently someone told me that she would have said “no” if she was proposed to the same way I was.

But what was more romantic?

Months before he proposed, after a dinner with my family, I made some excuse to walk my fiance to his car and he said “I want to marry you.”

“Is this a proposal?” I asked.

“No, not yet. I just know I want to marry you.”

Before we were engaged we talked at length about marriage, living arrangements, and how we wanted our actual wedding day to look and be. I read books about marriage (and not just wedding magazines either) and surfed online for things to do before you were engaged. Then came the day he asked for my heirloom ring (which my mum gave to me after my first failed engagement), so it could be repaired. There were no surprises, and in my opinion, that's probably the way it should be.

But, of course, that is just me.

When I started reading Offbeat Bride, I was surprised at how many brides-to-be didn't have their “bling,” but they were actively planning their wedding. I was relieved. I knew I had found the place I wanted to be.

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Comments on What Gilmore Girls can teach us about proposals

  1. My husband did in fact propose on the top of a mountain. It was a hike I actually planned, and nearly ruined by falling a bunch (one nearly catastrophic fall).
    When we got to our cave, I was sweaty and happy we’d made it. He was subtle and sweet. No fanfare, no huge crowds, no embarrassment or public pressure. We even forgot to update facebook until his mother threw a fit and woke us from a pist-hike nap to demand we change it!

  2. My better half isn´t really the planning type, so he asked me the other day whether I had special expectations for the proposal (we´d been talking about getting engaged and married for about a year now). So I said to him, all I wanted is for him to ask me proper and to be dressed while he asks me. As much as I love us to have a shower together, I wanted us to be serious, so that was my only demand. I don´t expect big parties or movie-like romantic gestures, cause that´s not who he is. Would I like a room full of flowers? Maybe in a moment of daydreaming. But for real? Just a waste of flowers. I want him to be genuine and the moment to be sweet and to say yes but other than that, I for once try not to overthink this, the surprise will be all the better.

  3. So, for backstory, we accidentally made our relationship official on the anniversary of 9/11 (He kissed me and said, “you want to make this official?” after 2 dates). We kept it because it was very easy to remember. Because of that, at some point I made a point of not wanting any more national tragedies as anniversaries, and didn’t want a proposal to happen on one either. I promptly forgot about it. Fast-forward 5 years, and I’m half-expecting a proposal on our 5th anniversary. I got flowers, made some comment about expecting it, and was reminded that I had told him very specifically not to. I move on. We’re going out for the anniversary dinner later than planned because of work and things, and I’m expecting a present (I also got him a pretty awesome one), but not a proposal. We go to dinner, we go home. I’m told my present is waiting.
    Well, I’m also a total Settlers of Catan geek. He MADE me a 3-D Setttlers board! (Be jealous) So I’m thinking that’s my gift and it’s awesome, when he grabs a development card and hands it to me while going down on one knee. It says: Proposal–Marry the one you love.
    He then proceeded to take me ring shopping and I got to pick it out myself.

    Sorry for the length, I just wanted to tell the internet how amazing my guy is. And how lucky I am.

    TL;DR I got a proposal story, and an awesome one at that, and I wouldn’t trade it for all the jumbotrons in the world.

  4. My now-fiance and I had discussed getting engaged for almost a year before he popped the question. We even went ring shopping together and set a deadline for getting engaged, so I knew it was coming but the time and place was all on him and ended up being spontaneous. It was short, sweet, and totally us. Nothing extravagant and it was perfect.

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