The Offbeat Bride: Kristin, Lush Fresh Handmade Cosmetics Part-Time Support Trainer (and Offbeat Bride member)
Her offbeat partner: Brian, Horror Movie Extraordinaire
Date and location of wedding: Dresser Mansion, Tulsa, OK — October 26, 2014
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: We lived in Scottsdale, AZ for five years, and the first thing we decided on was that it was important for us to be back in our hometown of Tulsa, OK when we got married. We had no intention of moving back anytime soon, so I tried my hardest to plan a BIG wedding.
We had to send out Ouija board save-the-dates! We LOVE Halloween and all things kitschy, so getting married close to Halloween was a no-brainer. I went and got a dress, booked our venue, I was pinning things on Pinterest like crazy and then guess what: we decided we were home sick and wanted to move back to our hometown of Tulsa, OK after all. Who does that in the middle of wedding planning?! We did.
After originally having a budget of $5k and a year to plan, it quickly became a budget of “lets just get a credit card and max it out” and only having three months! I went to a local bookstore and picked up horror and sci-fi books for our centerpieces and paid under $15 for all of them. I ordered vintage Halloween postcards from Amazon and used frames from Dollar Tree. We wanted our bridesmaids and groomsmen to wear their outfits again if they wanted to so we asked them to buy from eShakti and Target.
We had our first dance to one of our favorite songs, “Fell In Love At 22” by Starflyer 59. However we did not have a father/daughter dance nor a mother/son dance. We aren't super dancey people so a first dance was a big deal.
Brian is a HUGE Oklahoma City Thunders fan, so he had asked one of his message board friends, the infamous Thundor to come as a guest. He is known for painting on his chest at all the OKC Thunder games, and after our ceremony revealed his belly with our pumpkin faces on it!
Tell us about the ceremony:
I asked my brother to walk me down the aisle to Cat Power's “Sea of Love.” We had our flower girl throw Halloween candy because we misplaced her flowers, but it worked out perfectly!
We met my dad at the end of the aisle, and hearing my dad try to choke back his tears was super hard. I said “I'll be back dad!”
Brian and I wrote our own vows. Brian wrote his the evening before and I wrote mine at 4:00am when I couldn't sleep. We both decided to keep them short and to the point. Brian's were very thoughtful and of course, made me tear up. I, on the other hand, try to find humor in awkwardness, so I made mine a bit funny and he said he expected that I would have the funnier vows.
Our officiant was one of our oldest friends, and he created a beautiful ceremony for us and talked about how love has nothing to do with religion, traditions, science, or what gender you prefer. It's just a natural, weird thing that happens. It perfectly summed up our beliefs and our relationship for seven years. Instead of saying the traditional, “You may now kiss the bride,” he basically just said, “Do that gross thing where people kiss in public and now you are married.” And then we walked back to Roy Orbison's “Only With You.”
Our biggest challenge:
The biggest challenge was all the bits and pieces of life that happen in between wedding planning. I am not a detailed person and I often fly by the seat of my pants. Wedding planning was extremely tough for me, especially when we were moving states. Two weeks before the wedding, I wasn't sleeping at all and realized we were probably in over our heads with a huge wedding. I was contacted by two sisters who offered to help do our day-of coordination and decorate our wedding venue. If it were not for them, I am almost certain the day would have been a total cluster of hodgepodge.
The week before the wedding, my veil didn't work out as planned. My beautiful black velvet Audrey bow belt I had ordered got shipped to New Jersey on accident the day before the wedding. My feet were so swollen I couldn't fit them into my heels (That's okay, I secretly wanted to wear my Converse anyway!). All the food we prepped the night before the wedding simply just didn't work out. I had to get my makeup done at my work before the store opened. The buttons on my dress started falling off during pictures before the ceremony. Brian's suit was too baggy for his taste at the last minute.
But I had my family, best friends, and I was marrying the best dude I have ever met in a few short hours and none of that shit mattered! That's how I overcame it.
My favorite moment:
Our families all in one place was amazing. I come from a family of divorce and I can't remember a time I had my mom's family and my dad's family all in one place, and this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for that to happen. Brian has a family who all live in the same town and our families had never met. It was truly a day of families coming together to celebrate and that is a thought that is still, after it's happened, extremely overwhelming to me.
My funniest moment:
My brother walked me down the aisle and the plan was that I would hug my brother, dad, and Brian would shake their hands. After shaking their hands, he would then take my hand and lead me to the altar. He shook their hands, turned around and walked to the altar. I stood there and I was like “……you forgot me!” He laughed, said “I thought we changed it last-minute!” and came back for me.
Our first dance. I had NEVER slow danced before and never in public — not sober anyway. Brian was laughing at how I was clinging onto his arms for my life and he did everything to make me laugh.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
Keep your wedding true to yourself. I tried to accommodate certain requests and at the last minute I decided, this is OUR day and I am going to wear my Converse and I'm going to wear my glasses. I learned to not disregard requests, but to simply say, “I will consider it, thank you!”
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