The Offbeat Bride: Bethany, Grassroots Director
Her Offbeat Partner: Kris, Lawyer/Financial Advisor
Location & date of wedding: Theodore Wirth Park, Minneapolis, MN — 10-18-2008
What made our wedding offbeat: My partner and I both love the fall and consider it the best season in Minnesota. I also love to throw dinner parties and wanted our ceremony to be an “extended dinner party” with wonderful food and wine. We also wanted to accentuate the beautiful colors of fall, so we found a beautiful “chalet” at a city park. I wore a chocolate brown dress with awesome orange shoes. Kris wore a classic black suit with a golden rust tie. We had no attendants or “wedding party.” Just us.
We had three long tables set up for our “dinner guests.” My mother made beautiful runners and we simply had mums or candles on the tables. We had muted lighting and a fire in the fireplace, to create a warm and inviting space. We held our ceremony and reception in the same space so our guests didn't have to move (and to save time and money and cumbersome logistics).
Our biggest challenge: Because my partner is transgender, we struggled with how to reconcile the traditional parts of weddings (walking down the isle, dances with parents, deciding to legally marry) with how we wanted to share our commitment with our friends and family.
We wanted to involve our families in our ceremony, but not in the traditional way. Since we both have sisters, one part of the ceremony was called “the blessing of the sisters.” At this point our sisters joined us in front of our guests and promised to support our lifelong commitment to each other.
Also, instead of a traditional wedding cake, we made “s'mores.” We roasted “the first marshmallow” and fed each other a s'more. Then our guests roasted marshmallows and made s'mores during the reception.
My favorite moment: Kris and I decided to write our own vows and did not reveal them to each other until we read them at the ceremony. I *loved* hearing these words for the first time that day and periodically re-read them to remind me of that awesome moment!
My advice for other offbeat brides: Don't feel obligated to follow tradition if it is not right for you. We heard so many comments from our guests about how they will never forget our ceremony because it was so remarkable and unique… and so “us.”