Looking for a truly trans-friendly honeymoon spot

Posted by
Photo courtesy of the Sunseeker Maui.
Photo courtesy of the Sunseeker Maui.
Hey there, I am someone getting married… it's just that the bride/groom thing doesn't work for me. We are a queer/trans/genderqueer couple, and I so appreciate Offbeat Bride. I feel like this is the only place where I see me. I am really happy to find a world of people who can dig on queerness and rethink old traditions for new aspirations.

I have a question for you and your readers: I am looking for a trans-friendly, really truly friendly, honeymoon spot.

We worry about plumbing, about being questioned, about being unsafe, about violence nearly constantly.

We realized that dreaming of our honeymoon didn't feel so much like dreaming any more, rather more like risk avoidance.

I am betting that you or your readers have great ideas for gender-affirming places that are fun and delightful.

Thanks so much for all you bring to this world of getting hitched. -H

Hey H! First, congratulations to you and your partner. Second, thanks for the warm fuzzies about Offbeat Bride. We really work our non-gender-specific tails off to make this place feel all-encompassing.

Okay, now on to the task at hand. Recommending really truly trans-friendly honeymoon spots. When I received your question, I was at my family home on the wonderful island of Maui. So, you know, I may be a little biased, but I'm going to recommend Hawaii as a choice honeymoon spot. Allow me to gush some more about my favorite state, and then I want to hear more reader suggestions…

With the passage of Hawaii's House Bill 546, Hawaii became the 13th state to ban discrimination on the basis of gender identity not only in employment, but for housing and public accommodations. And on top of that Hawaii law has prohibited discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation since 1991. How's that for some aloha spirit.

Of course, I'm writing this from the perspective of a cisgender straight chick, so my experience of Hawaii (Maui in particular) as being a very open-minded and accepting locale, may be a bit biased. Because of that, I thought I'd reach out to Michael Waddell, the General Manager of the Maui Sunseeker — one of the ONLY hotels that primarily markets to the LGBT community (but, of course, welcomes all). Here's what he had to say…

We are a very mixed use type property where our guest makeup is about 50% gay men, 40% lesbian and 10% straight. Honestly we do not get a lot of bi-sexual or transgender guests on property, but those that do stay with us find it a most welcoming environment.

Maui in general is a very open and welcoming place, especially for a honeymoon destination. One of the main reasons my partner of 39 years and I moved here 12 years ago was we felt comfortable and most importantly safe to be ourselves. As a long time couple, we have had our share of discrimination across the world. We have never felt discrimination here. Maui is a wonderful place for a honeymoon for virtually anyone, regardless of their orientation.

Regarding whether Maui is a truly trans-friendly location, I would say yes mainly because the island is very open to most any lifestyle. Just the passing of the civil unions law last year certainly raised the awareness in the LGBT market on Maui and we are fighting today for full marriage rights.

In May 2011, the Hawaii Legislature passed HB 546 [the Transgender Protection Bill]. This should provide some insight regarding the legal protections afforded with in the state.

Michael also went so far as to speak to his staff members about this issue. One in particular said that she knows and/or has worked with many trans-gender people living on this island.

Along with Michael, I also contacted a travel agent friend of mine — Bruce Fisher from Hawaii Aloha Travel (based in Oahu) — who then posed the question to his many Hawaiian-based Facebook followers. Some of the responses ranged from “I think so” to “Hawaiian culture has a history of accepting the aikane” and “[Hawaii is] mahu-friendly for days.”

But no matter where you choose to honeymoon, I hope y'all have an amazingly romantic time!

So, Hawaii is MY recommendation for trans-friendly honeymoon spot. But I'd love to hear from our trans-identified and trans-partnered readers about THEIR recommendations!

Meet your new BFF wedding vendor

Trending with our readers

Comments on Looking for a truly trans-friendly honeymoon spot

  1. I’m just going to put it out there that Seattle is a wonderful place to visit, rain or shine. We have a pride festival every year and parade, dozens of lgbtq bars and clubs on Capitol Hill, the scenery is to die for.

  2. I am bi lady in a 9 year lesbian relationship with my fiancee. We live in Nyc and are always comfortable being a couple in public anywhere in Manhattan below 110th st. There are lots of LGBT friendly, well, *everything* all over, with a particularly large and spirited concentration 23rd st and below.
    If the big city isn’t your style and you want overt hospitality, then try the Concord, Lincoln, Lexington towns outside Boston. We visit at least twice a year. Not only is MA the most LGBT friendly state, but we were told by a middle aged woman at the beautiful Walden Pond that we looked really picturesque holding hands near the water. We are comfortable being an obvious couple and have received the warmest hospitality. EVER. It is great if you like history or classic literature, as these towns saw the beginning of the American Revolution and the literary transcendentalism movement…think Emerson, Thoreau, Alcott, Hawthorn, etc.
    Also, in both NY and MA I use the men’s room sometimes (out of impatience in my case) and nobody has ever confronted me.

  3. I am a resident and lover of Portland, Oregon. The winter months aren’t quite as pretty, but no one knows how to have fun in the summer like Portlanders do! Mount Hood is gorgeous and has the most spectacular cabins, too. The city has such a great accepting vibe, and it is definitely the place my queer friends say they feel more accepted and free here than anywhere else.

  4. I’m a cisgendered queer woman. I’ve done a lot of traveling with queer/straight/trans young people in latin america. I’d reccommend Little Corn Island, which is off of Big Corn in Nicaragua. It’s off the beaten path, tiny, accepting, and the little hostels/hotels around have been very accepting of the youth I’ve brought. Mostly all-gender bathrooms. Casa Iguana, the hotel, is especially good at supporting our trans youth. Pretty awesome, stunningly beautiful.

  5. My first thought after reading the question was Hawaii as well. We stayed in what amounted to a condo – we had our own kitchen, bathroom, everything. We basically didn’t interact with anyone, beyond checking in and out of the hotel, and other transactions like that (though we did go to a luau …) I’d second (third) the suggestion that Hawaii is lovely.

  6. My partner (who is not trans IDed but is gender nonconforming) and I recently did a week at the ACE Palm Springs. No one batted an eyelash at us in the pool area. The changing rooms for the sauna and steam room are gendered but you are close enough to your room that you can change there. The sauna and steam room themselves are not gendered. There’s not much to do other than lay around and/or look at pretty mountains so bathrooms outside the hotel were not an issue.

  7. Inn on the Blue Horizon in Vieques Island, Puerto Rico is LGBT friendly. The last time we were there, we were the only straight couple staying at the Inn. It is very private and very romantic. The overall island is very private and has the most beautiful beaches we have ever seen.

  8. Thanks for the suggestions queers and dears. It is a tough question isn’t it because gay friendly doesn’t always mean trans friendly? I have met some fierce opposition from gays an lesbians, and I am too jaded to think “lgbt friendly” means much more than you want my rainbow dollar. But! This expertise is really helpful, new places I never knew about. We actually found a place called Kalani on the big island that is shouting its gender affirmation. As somewhat of an aside, when I see HRC, I don’t think me friendly. They have a racist and transphobic past and present. Thanks from the bottom of my queer heart for posting this question. You’re the best.

  9. I’m going to add Montreal, QC in Canada. There is a large LGBT community there (there’s an entire section of the city known as the Gay Village and is promoted in tourist books for his great atmosphere). I’m cisgendered female so no experience myself, but it’s also a lovely city in general. Almost everyone will speak English if they realize that is your main language, the shopping is great, tons of festivals and celebrations.

    • I tried for this one. I very much want to visit….he doesn’t see the appeal. Confusing! I know I would love it, but he is a beach baby! Solo trip then.

Read more comments

Comments are closed.