13 things I wish I’d known on my wedding day

Guest post by Leishkin
This is me looking super-stressed, on my mobile phone, trying to find my vows and get them printed, while at the wedding venue. (Photo by Adrian Tuazon Photography)
This is me looking super-stressed, on my mobile phone, trying to find my vows and get them printed, while at the wedding venue. (Photo by Adrian Tuazon Photography)

My wedding was beautiful and fun and awesome by all accounts, but now I have the “shoulda-coulda-wouldas” and it's getting me down. I keep telling myself I need to just remember the good stuff and accept the things I can't change — but it's hard to do sometimes. That said, please, learn from my mistakes! Here are all the things I didn't think of before the wedding:

1. Think of the people you MOST want individual photos with

Make a list and GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE so they can round them up, or just TELL someone else. Don't keep it all to yourself.

2. If you're having a photo booth, delegate people to go and hassle everyone into using it

At our friends' wedding two weeks ago, my husband and I wandered around wearing silly hats and giant sunglasses and made everyone come and be silly in the photo booth. You can also tell your MC to keep mentioning it.

3. Give someone YOUR camera or mobile and let them have fun with it

When we got home on the wedding night, we found that a friend of mine had taken my iPhone and gotten snap-happy with photos of our friends, herself, my family, and us. It was so awesome to have them to look through that same night!

4. Ask for help

I read this on Offbeat Bride over and over again, and still I didn't obey. I honestly thought I had it all under control.

5. Give your vows to someone at the start of the day

…so you don't do what I did and leave them behind where you were getting ready and have a mad freaking panic on the way to the wedding! (Thank jeebus I'd emailed them to myself a couple of days before.) Which brings me to…

6. Allllways have a back up

Back up copy, back up emailed version, back up printing plan, back up music.

7. Be realistic about the aisle-walk timing

We practiced walking down the aisle the night before, but on the day of, the bridesmaids walked WAY too fast and the song had to be cut off abruptly rather than playing out.

8. Delegate bride/groom drink-fetching!

I was sans drink most of the night and, being the bride, I got stopped every time I tried to go anywhere and ended up stuck chatting with people!

9. Do your speeches and cake cutting early

…so that you can then relax more, and so that elderly/young/photographer can leave if they need to.

10. Make your informational wedding signs early

Despite talking repeatedly about all of the little signs we needed to display at the wedding, we never had a chance to make them. There was no sign telling people the flavors of the cupcakes or that there was a whole plate of vegan/gluten free ones.

11. Energy drinks

About halfway through the night, these can be a REALLY good idea. I don't think I have EVER been that tired.

12. Write a blog post

If you're a member of the Offbeat Bride Tribe, write a post like this to help other brides. It has made a world of difference and has truly helped me to move on and remember all the great things, and how many things DIDN'T go wrong that I should be thankful for!

13. Be proud

Look around at the work you did, at all the people who came to play, and breathe.

Here endeth the lesson.

I now have photos like this, how can I be sad!? This is me trying to let all of it go…
I now have photos like this, how can I be sad!? This is me trying to let all of it go…

Comments on 13 things I wish I’d known on my wedding day

  1. Thanks! These are REALLY great points to think about! I’m going to print and keep in my binder. ps. You look stunning!

  2. thank you! I just designated a “photobooth wrangler” because of you! (and not a moment too soon!)

  3. oh oh!! I was just married and I have a big one for a bride…..we are stuck chatting with everyone!!! No breathing space. Your lipstick will wear off and your lips will dry from all of the chatting and nerves and smiling. Have 2…yes 2…different girls with lipgloss of yours. I ended up using someone elses because I couldn’t find the girl that had mine when I needed it.

    • In a friend’s wedding this spring, I was lucky enough to choose a bridesmaid dress w/ pockets, so I became the designated pack-horse for the bride. I didn’t mind a bit! Kept her in lip balm all afternoon!

      • Sounds awesome. My friend is going to be my bridesman in September. Benefits of attendant wearing a suit: Lots of pockets!

        • Better yet, if you have a best friend who wears utili-kilts to almost every outing! I think I might require said best friend to wear his black one to my wedding since I plan on having him be my sidekick for the evening! XD

    • YES! In all my photos at the reception my lips are practically white! And cracky dry. ACK ACK ACK I cant stand it at all! I thought I was petty that I wished I’d designated a lipstick wrangler but I see I’m not alone!

  4. As a wedding photographer I can’t thank you enough for number 9!! My last wedding clients did this and I can’t tell you how much it is appreciated!!

    • #9 is actually fairly common where I’m from, especially if there isn’t going to be any dancing at the reception. With nothing else to do but just eat food and mingle with people the whole time, guests don’t want to wait 2 and a half hours for the speeches and the cake cutting to commence.

        • I haaaaaaaaate dancing, I’m so uncoordinated and it means nothing to me. I also don’t like the idea of father/daughter dances – so that’s why we aren’t having any dancing at our BYO picnic-on-the-beach! I’m taking my togs! 🙂

  5. I will especially need number 13! But also, I think I will designate a “booze getter” for me! A lil’ off topic but you look beautiful! Your dress is lovely.

    • Bonus: if you have someone getting your drinks, they will likely be keeping better track of how much you’ve had, in case you are pointedly avoiding the Trashed Bride look.

  6. This is a really great list! If there was one thing that I could add it would be to remember comfortable shoes! Especially if you plan on dancing all night… my dogs were pretty tired the whole day after my wedding, let me tell you! 😀

  7. I really like this list, Leishkin. I have particularly been worried about #5 and #6 for quite some time since I am planning to write my own vows. I may even write them on my iPhone and delegate someone to hold it for me if necessary. But I’ll certainly create as many backup versions as I possibly can. In fact, I may even include a copy in a bridal emergency kit I’m planning to put together.

    • I made a few back-up copies too, including one in the emergency kit! I also gave a copy to my officiant beforehand and he just handed the sheet to me to read from during the ceremony. I think my lady of honor may have also had a just-in-case copy tucked into her cleavage, bless her heart. 🙂

Read more comments

Join the Conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *