Wedding of my Nanny June and Pawpaw Jigs
Wedding of my Nanny June and Pawpaw Jigs

Here's something that was told to me after my grandmother's funeral, when we were all reminiscing and telling stories:

Apparently my mother's cousin had the Worst Wedding Ever back in the '50s. Now this was out in rural Kentucky where most weddings were fairly small affairs.

My great aunt's mother (Jessie) and my great aunt had planned every detail meticulously. My mom and her three siblings (or “the babies” as they were collectively known) were going to be a part of the wedding. Every one from the bride to the babies would have a dress that was handmade by my aunt, with fittings the likes of which still impressed my mom to this day. There were flowers, and there was a church, and there was going to be pomp and circumstance.

But then there was a freak blizzard, which nobody saw coming. The only people that were able to get to the church were the people in the wedding.

There was not a single person at the church sitting in the pews.

Then my mom, because she was five and had been brought up with the “proper way to pray,” lost the rings. In her words: “It never occurred to me that I could pray with my eyes open. So I closed my eyes and they just sort of fell off the little pillow.”

Then, because of the snow storm, the heat was cranked up so high that the groom passed out.

Three times.

The last time he couldn't be revived right away, and they literally carried him away from the altar.

The preacher looked my great aunt in the eye and said “Don't worry. I don't care if you two never got to say ‘I do.' You're married.”

As she told me the story my great aunt cackled merrily.

“And I was married for fifty-four years! So don't worry about your wedding, even if it's a disaster, it doesn't mean the marriage will be, too.”

Comments on The worst wedding ever

  1. That is so sweet. And such a great perspective to have, both on past and possible future mishaps!

  2. I needed to read this today–I’m getting married this Saturday in Chicago, and flights are getting cancelled left and right because of the radar tower fire.

    • I’m in Chicago too. I work for Marriott and today we only had three cancellations for flights. Things are getting back to normal finally. Don’t lose sleep, it’ll all work out <3

  3. It’s hard to compare weddings but mine went pretty badly, too: Outdoors in an isolated meadow. Uninvited Father-in-Law arrived bleeding from a car accident. Mother-in-Law two hours late. Freezing hail. Threats and insults throughout the hurried ceremony. Frightened Mother was pushed into the potato salad. Sister-in-Law was pushed into the muddy creek. Groom was kicked in the cummerbund. Father-in-law was stabbed with a plastic fork then driven to the police station and kicked out. Bride, groom, and four others, plus three Great Danes in the back, were driven to reception in the cab of a pickup. Bride was soaking wet for hours. Mother, holding marriage license, refused to go to reception, so it didn’t get signed for a month. Police arrived while bride was cutting cake and arrested Groom (for no good reason). After Mother-in-Law retrieved her son, he had a panic attack and had to drive himself to the emergency hospital. Valium quashed the wedding night. We’ve been happily married for 34 years.

  4. I totally just cried. This is wonderful <3 I can relate- almost 20 years ago- it was a tropical storm, raining and 102* in Jamaica where my husband and I were eloping…. the ladies in the salon used an oil based product to "set" my ass length hair which promptly wouldn't hold a curl even tho I'd sat under a hot drier for HOURS…. the heat/humidity caused my hands to swell so I couldn't get my rings off for the ceremony….blah, blah, blah… I had a meltdown Chernobyl style temper tantrum in the room getting ready… my fiance handed me a drink- stood behind me and curled and sprayed my hair, and then went and got ready in the other room. The rain stopped- the sun came out- we met down at the beach- and 30+ plus people we had met at the swim-up bar the day before- were waiting for us to be our "guests" – the sunset was amazing, we were married and we made friends that we are still in contact with just shy of 20 years later… so that old Auntie's comments were spot on. <3

  5. My folks had a pretty bad wedding themselves back in 1976. My dad’s sister, my Aunt, had a heart attack during the reception which was being held at my parent’s home, and DIED ! My folks have been married for 38 years this coming December, so I guess it didn’t jinx them !

  6. WOW I did not realize there was so many “bad wedding day” that exist…. I thought I was the only one but mine was not as bad as you all listed here up above… My mother in law did not show up to our wedding and she wants us to fly to Reno to do a wedding do over there next year for our anniversary, I am not sure if we will do it because I am worried of having another “bad wedding day”…..

  7. This is so funny! I guess the lesson is that the wedding isn’t as important as the marriage. This seriously needs to e communicated more-I bet there are loads of brides out there ashamed that their wedding was horrible or bad or just not WIC perfect. It happens and it’s OK! You’re not a terrible person!

  8. Wow! All these “worst wedding” stories are starting to make me nervous! We are getting married in January, and live in Dallas, and I’ve been worried that there will be a snow storm, even though they rarely happen! I’m at the point of the wedding planning that I’m ready to elope!

  9. Cynderella Lee! I thought I was the only one. My MIL blew it off after we paid for her flight and hotel. So nice not to be the only one. That is what I love about this site.

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