Avoiding wedding fights: how to plan your wedding planning

Your engagement should be a joyful time. You have a lifetime ahead of you with the person you love. What could be better than to celebrate that love surrounded by friends and family? And yet, somehow things go awry. Conflicts flare. And the time that should be so happy — the build-up to your wedding — is fraught with possibilities for strife.

The good news is you can avoid most of the problems by planning your wedding planning. That's right. Plan how you're going to plan.

How I used Google Sheets to lay out my wedding floorplan

I readily admit that the hardest thing about my wedding day will be letting go of control of the entire thing. I wanted to have a hand in the layout of the rooms, even if I can't physically be there for the set up. I harnessed Google Sheets wedding planning: I made an approximate map of our venue and placed every table, chair, and decoration where I want it to be, setting the boxes up as squares and using a legend of 1 foot squared = 1 box. See how it was done!

Beyond the wedding: why I'm more excited about what comes next

My wedding day countdown app on my phone informs me that there are exactly 30 days, 2 hours, and 22 minutes until my wedding. I feel like I should be more stressed out and nervous. But we've been engaged for one and a half years, and I've spent some time planning this thing every week, so the vast majority of the work is done.

What's interesting is that after all that time dreaming and planning, though I'm really excited about the wedding itself, I'm incredibly excited for the time beyond the wedding…

1.7k

I didn't bother to hire offbeat vendors and now I regret it

As time as gone by, my priorities have changed (I loved the post on how it's totally fine to have a cookie cutter wedding) and I am having a fairly traditional wedding in about two months. For this reason (and also budget limitations), I ignored the wise advise on this site to seek out vendors whose wedding style fits my vision. But what I am finding as I get deeper into planning the wedding, is that I weirdly am worried about living up to my photographers (and others) expectations and I worry about not being a "hot" enough bride with a "pretty" enough wedding. How do I keep the wedding day focused on what my fiance and I want, even though some of the people around us have different expectations?

3.7k

The challenges of planning a straight wedding as a feminist queer bride

Planning a straight wedding as a lifelong feminist and member of the LGBTQ community was a challenge wrought with emotion, guilt, and confusion (in addition, of course, to all the blissful feelings of being engaged and in love).

I was a feminist way before it was cool, when it was decidedly UNCOOL. I realized that I liked girls as a teenager in the nineties going to a Catholic school, where the only openly gay teacher was a female gym coach who wasn't allowed in the girls' locker room. Gay marriage would not be a reality until nearly 15 years after I realized I might want to marry a woman. At different points in my life, I've hated both men and straight people; not out of malice, but out of fear, rejection, and really bad experiences.

Then I decided to marry a straight dude.