After planning a commitment ceremony for myself and seeing how difficult it was for gay weddings in 2010, I’ve been wanting to get involved and be a gay planner for several years. I can’t quit my day job while getting there though. But with all of this quarantine free time, I thought it would be good to start looking into it…
It’s not too long now until the love of my life and I get married and promise to tolerate one another until one of us dies, and I have reached the conclusion that I need to stop reading wedding clickbait. They’re making anything other than a courthouse wedding seem ill-advised. You know that I wasn’t ready for?
“What’s your wedding hashtag going to be?”
If you’re planning a wedding, you’ve probably realized just how much wedding vendors will mark up their prices when they know it’s for a wedding. You may be pretty peeved that you’re having to pay a “wedding tax” for something that would cost less on any other kind of occasion. But in most cases, these extra costs are incurred with good reason. Despite this, some couples are trying to snag a better deal from their vendors by withholding the fact that the service will be used for a wedding instead of, say, a vow renewal, family party, or similar. We’ve heard these called “bait-and-switch brides.”
As time as gone by, my priorities have changed (I loved the post on how it’s totally fine to have a cookie cutter wedding) and I am having a fairly traditional wedding in about two months. For this reason (and also budget limitations), I ignored the wise advise on this site to seek out vendors whose wedding style fits my vision. But what I am finding as I get deeper into planning the wedding, is that I weirdly am worried about living up to my photographers (and others) expectations and I worry about not being a “hot” enough bride with a “pretty” enough wedding. How do I keep the wedding day focused on what my fiance and I want, even though some of the people around us have different expectations?
I was married last year. We were happy with our photographer, and pre-booked an upcoming summer time family shoot with her. Now, six months after the wedding, I’ve realized that she hasn’t posted any of our engagement, bridal or wedding photos to her website or social media.
I have noticed that I’m not nearly as thin or stereotypically pretty as many of her other brides and I can’t help but be a little offended. Now I’m wondering if I should find a new photographer for our family photos — one who maybe appreciates our personal style a little more?
Lately I’ve been feeling guilty. Then I’ve been feeling guilty about feeling guilty because I should know that I don’t need to feel guilty. I’ve been feeling this way because I happen to be a woman who wants to get married someday. This in itself isn’t a new development, but now I actively WANT it. Now “quirky engagement rings” keeps finding itself in my Pinterest search history and Offbeat Bride is gradually making its way up my most visited sites. It’s literally proposal guilt.