2.9k

What Joss Whedon & Army wives can teach you about being a future military spouse

My fellow Army Wives, Echo and Kilo (who helped write this post) and I, are political progressives, feminists, and romantically involved with soldiers in the US Army. It's a crazy effing life. One might even say round pegs for the square hole of the US Armed Forces. We are absolutely committed to telling it like it is as professional women with complicated sexualities, careers, aspirations, non-traditional religious affiliations, and cultural clashes with the military… as well as the love, support, and strength we draw from our significant others, ourselves, and our close and ever evolving friendships. And yeah, we had a couple o' gaps in our zeitgeist that we hope we can help you with.

15k

How early is too early: When can I start using my new married last name?

My surname now is ridiculously common. Googling me is a waste of time. There are zillions of us. After I get married, though, my last name is going to much more unusual. My school will be taking away my email address, and I’m going to sign up for a gmail account — can I put my new surname on it and start using it, or do I update everyone’s info again in six months after my wedding? What something I've submitted for publication gets accepted? Can I put my new name on that? How about my website?

5.8k

How do you get someone to stop addressing things to your non-existent married name?

My husband and I have been married for six years now and most of the family is fully aware of the fact that I kept my last name — actually, I'm sure my in-laws are well aware of this. But my mother-in-law keeps addressing mail and checks to me as if I had changed my name.

How do I address this issue in hopes of getting her to quit without being confrontational?