Musings on feminism and weddings
It doesn’t seem that long ago I was sporting short hair, dockers, button-downs and ties and hitting the bars. Now, I have hair down to the middle of my back, wearing a f’ing Vera Wang wedding dress and participating full force in the bridal industrial complex.
Arroxane & Mike’s celestial, multicultural ceremony of matrimony
The Offbeat Bride Arroxane, Technical writer Her Offbeat Partner: Mike, Techie, inventor, and business owner Location & date of wedding: The Max recording stage in Dallas, TX — January 18, 2009 What made our wedding offbeat: From the theme to the attire to the food to the entertainment, it was about what we liked and […]
How to tell family you didn’t change your last name (…and how to cash those checks written to the wrong name)
“When I get married, I am not planning on changing my name. Our families are not forward-thinking and are bound to assume I will take my future husband’s last name…”
Difference between Ms and Mrs: Am I a Mrs if I don’t change my last name?
I decided long ago that I’d keep my name if I got married. But … what IS my name? I’ve often used the “Ms.” title, and I expect to keep doing so. “Mrs.” can, however, be useful. I always assumed I’d use Mrs. MyName at those times, but during this last week I’ve realized that in my mind the Mrs. title is inextricably linked with the husband’s name. Mrs. doesn’t just signal that I’m married, it tells people the name of the person I’m married to. Mrs. MyName feels self-contradictory and weird, like I’m married to myself.
Maybe I just have a problem with the title “Mrs.” Do people use it when they keep their name?
One groom’s perspective on taking his wife’s last name
So far the name change hasn’t cost me more than a few hours of paperwork, some explanations to public officials and a few strained conversations with brittle relatives who think I’ve joined a matrilineal cult. I still feel like myself. My identity remains intact. Marriage will demand larger sacrifices than this, I expect.
You might be an Offbeat Bride if…
…you ask a bride-to-be what color her dress is and she says, “Like, do you mean ivory vs. white?” and you remember not everyone considers red/purple/rainbow/polka-dotted dresses for their wedding day.