After three years of engagement, we finally started to figure out what we wanted to do for our wedding. Throw a big party? Throw a small party? Run away? Ugh, they all sounded hard and not right. I wanted our wedding to be special for us, and not be bogged down with anxiety, and feeling like no one was as happy as I wanted them to be. The one thing that kept sticking was pseudo eloping, and it was perfect.
Sometimes we gossip with our wedding industry vendor friends. We like to get the scoop about things they’re seeing more often at weddings (ring warmings! hand fastings!) and just generally get the insider gossip. And you know what our vendor friends are telling us? That basically, almost everyone hates wedding toasts.
I’ve always thought of myself as pretty unsociable. While my husband is Mr. Sociable. In fact, my initial vision for the wedding was a very small gathering — the two of us, our parents and brothers, a total of 11 people. Obviously this was never going to fit with my other half’s plans and we ended up having about 100 people there. This was the cause of enormous and paralyzing anxiety to me in the run-up to the wedding day.
I’m in love with love and I love weddings. You’d think, then, that I would have been excited about the prospect of planning my wedding when I got engaged, but I wasn’t. You see, I’m an introvert, and I’m closer to the extreme end of the spectrum. So, the idea of not only going to a party, but of planning a party in honor of my fiancé (who is also an introvert, albeit more social than I am) and me made us both want to run away screaming. After much reflection, however (see definition above), I came to a few conclusions that I thought I’d share in the hopes of helping fellow introverts deal with the idea of a wedding in their honor…
More than half our guest list is unable to attend our wedding. As a result, we’ve gone from having a small wedding to having a microscopic one. I keep waffling between thoughts of, “This is awesome!” and, “Ohfuckohfuck, what will people think?!” I want to kick these negative thoughts about our compact wedding to the curb. They’re untrue, and they only serve to make me feel bad. I don’t deserve to feel bad. I’m a fantastic person hosting a fantastic wedding. In the name of positivity, here’s a list of everything that can be awesome about itty bitty weddings:
“My fiance and I are both are very anxious about being the center of attention. Besides cutting down the guest list, do you have any brilliant ideas for how we can pull this off without getting ulcers from stage fright?”