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My barn wedding is not a unique and special snowflake… and that's okay!

I fancy myself an individual. I mean, I reckon we all do. And while no one has been shaped by the same life events I have, the concept of truly being "unique" is one that we rest a lot of importance on. I always figured I wouldn't have a "typical" wedding. I'm a modest, geeky, tomboy of a girl, and I felt a good guideline for planning a wedding would be incorporating things that make me happy. I didn't know jack about weddings when I started out planning for all this. But if I've learned anything, it's that the things that make me happy also make other people happy.

14k

Othering: the ways offbeat types push ourselves away

Over the years, I've seen something come up time and time again from Offbeat Bride readers: people will send an email, post on the Tribe, or leave a comment that basically amounts to, "Do I REALLY count as an Offbeat Bride? Do I really belong here?" I think of it as the Offbeat Bride's version of othering: this way those of us who've defined ourselves as non-normative have of pushing ourselves away from other people. The push makes sense, of course — if you live in a region where your politics aren't aligned with those around you, of course you're going to feel a push, and like you need to clearly define yourself as "not that." There are a lot of social and cultural contexts where it makes perfect sense that people who feel a little bit off the beaten path would push against the people and society around them. What makes less sense to me is when I see us push against each other…

11k

Oh Noes, I Think My Wedding Will Be Normal!

You may think I'm crazy since our wedding was actually pretty darn offbeat and unique. But it didn't really feel that offbeat, and I was wondering if I should be concerned. I saw all these seriously amazing weddings on Offbeat Bride and the Tribe and I wanted to be among that crowd. Then I realized that the fact that it felt normal was awesome. It actually meant we were doing it right.

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6 ways to survive wedding planning with your self-esteem intact

Leading up to our wedding day, I felt terrible about myself. I'd gone and convinced myself that, during everything from my walk up the aisle to our first dance, I was going to resemble a huge, ungainly, lolloping mess, at which everyone would laugh. I felt like Mr Blobby in drag.

So, if you're anything like me, here's a little survival guide for keeping your self-worth intact while planning your wedding.