Category Archive

identity

Having a bridentity crisis? Not sure what this whole wedding thing means when it comes to who you are as a person? Let’s work through some identity issues together. (Also, you may want to check out the book The Conscious Bride, which addresses a lot of personal identity issues related to wedding planning.)

thick thighs cross stitch on offbeat bride alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Body-positive bridal: What if I look stunning and I accept myself for who I really am?

You know how sometimes there’s nothing in the fridge, or in the closet, or on the radio? That’s how I felt like my own clothes weren’t fitting. The zipper zipped and the button buttoned, but the person in the mirror looked ill-fit, wrongly-dressed, confused, and fraudulent.

photo by oliver barth as seen on offbeat bride alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Maintenance-shaming: You don’t have to pretend you’re so cool that you’re “over” your own wedding

Upon hearing that I want my hair and makeup done, people say, “but you’re so low-maintenance.” So I have invented a term for what I’m going through: “maintenance-shaming.”

Maintenance-shaming is essentially telling a woman that she should not make a fuss about traditionally feminine things, or really that she shouldn’t make a fuss about anything.

Planzilla approves of these cupcakes alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Subdue the Planzilla: or why I need to stop trying to plan everything and love the engagement

I am a Planzilla. I love planning things. I love planning things way way way in advance. I could quite happily start planning for my wedding right now and get all the planning done by myself. But here’s where the problem lies…

14388357006 9e5ef06cf3 c alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

How “all about the bride” is not about the bride at all

I knew going into wedding planning that there would be a lot of cooks in the kitchen, we knew there would be a few things where we just couldn’t compromise and would have to put our collective foot down. I offered, early on, to be the bad guy in these situations, since I could just say “I’m the bride, and this is what I want.” Turns out, no one cares if I’m the bride unless I want what “the bride” is supposed to want in their minds. “I” have been erased from the process. Let me give you some examples…

alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Queer femme hearts trans man: the legitimacy of love

Being fully, unapologetically ourselves comes with risks and can be both contentious and dangerous. We are violated, belittled, deprived of love, victimized, isolated and left wanting… both by larger systems and communities, and by people we thought we could trust. Amidst the pain or discomfort, we have to remember that there is hope.

fat bride alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

I’m a fat bride

I want anything emblazoned with “bride” to be changed to “fat bride.” My identity as a fat woman is no secret, and I’m not ashamed of it. I bare my body with pride. However, not everyone feels the same way.