14k

My name isn't "Mrs": On changing my mind about changing my last name

Changing my mind about changing my last name was undoubtedly really confusing for my husband, because I had clearly stated my intention to take his name once we were married. But when people started calling me "Mrs. HisLastName" I didn't like it. It was as though my first name was "Mrs," my last name was "HisLastName," and no identifier of who I was previous to getting married was left. It made me especially angry when we would receive something addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName" as though I was not even worthy of a first name anymore. As though I am just a wife. I love being his wife, I love that we're married, but I want to define my marriage. I don't want my marital status to define me.

28k

It's about me becoming me: Why I'm changing my first AND last name after marriage

Did I want to keep having the same tiresome, negative conversation with every new person that I meet? Not really. Is changing my entire name going to be incredibly inconvenient? Most certainly, in terms of process, costs, and social confusion. Is my happiness worth the inconvenience? When I asked myself that question, the answer was a resounding YES. Additionally, I now have no problem taking my partner's (delightful) last name when I will also be taking my own first name, on my own terms.

3.8k

Thinking Bride: How Offbeat Bride helped me be more authentic

I actually found Offbeat Bride through a site (that shall remain nameless but not blameless) where the writer was mocking it. The tone of the mockery was, "Look at these weirdos who think they're so special and different!" But here's the thing: I WANTED my wedding to be special and different. Now, over a year later and as my wedding date quickly approaches, I shall literally count the ways in which Offbeat Bride has helped me. If it weren't for Offbeat Bride, my wedding would have been a lot more…

2.7k

The wrong way to make a bouquet? Learning to accept help and relinquish wedding control

I haven't been asking for help, I haven't been delegating, and I've been overwhelmed and drowning in an endless sea of paperwork and DIY projects. I've been so worried about letting people help because I feel like only I know what the end result is "supposed" to be, and I'm scared that if someone else makes something it won't be "right." This is where my thinking needs to change…

3.0k

How escaping Scientology weirdly relates to wedding planning

Whenever people are like BOO MAINSTREAM WEDDINGS BOO WIC I HATE THE WEDDING INDUSTRY RAH RAH RAH, I'm always like "I get your frustration there, guys — but stop fighting so much against what you don't want, and start proactively working to determine what you DO want. Construction is always more difficult than demolition!" Here's why creation is more interesting to me that reacting.