2.5k

Cake tasting and spitballing: 6 tips for planning a wedding TOGETHER

When we went cake tasting, the wonderful woman who was working with us expressed her surprise that the groom was there. When we went to a venue, the coordinator spoke to me only and generally pretended my fiancée wasn’t there.

My fiancé and I decided to plan our wedding together. Our relationship has been a partnership, and we plan for our marriage to be a partnership; foisting the work on me for the wedding planning is out of sync with our relationship values. While the amount of talking can get exhausting, we’re committed to doing this together. As we continue the planning process, we’ll take some of the lessons we’ve learned so far and apply them forward…

13k

"I looked like a princette" My experience as a non-binary bridesmate

My best friend got married recently, which was exciting and amazing. I was in her bridal party, which was also exciting and amazing. The only issue was that I’m non-binary — that is, I’m transgender and not a man or a woman. I know that many other trans, especially non-binary, people find themselves pressured to present in a way that makes them feel awful at weddings. Through my experience I think I really learned a lesson about presentation and how much small details and accessories make you feel as a non-binary bridesmate.

10k

You may now kiss each other

Every once in a while, a couple comes up with a wedding alternative I've just never thought of before. Lo and behold, Dagny and Charlie came up with this super simple twist to a traditional ceremony script:

"It was also important to me that our first kiss as a married couple was something that both of us entered into. Traditionally, people say, 'You may now kiss the bride.' We opted instead for, 'You may now kiss each other.' For many, it seemed like a silly, small thing, but for me it was a big deal."

29k

Mr, Mrs, Mx: Genderqueer and gender-neutral wedding wording

Weddings aren't a strictly gendered thing, as all of us reading Offbeat Bride are like aware of… but many of the words around weddings and marriage are very gendered.

Even if you’re having a completely gender-neutral wedding, it’s really hard to talk about it without using gendered verbiage. But I've tried to find some ways around that..

12k

"Who's the 'groom' in your lesbian wedding?" Gender stereotypes and assumptions with gay weddings

"So, who's the guy in your relationship?" This question (or versions of it) is one of the more common questions posed to lesbian couples and the most frustrating. The reverse is true of male couples. While most people have posed this question with absolutely no malice or agenda, people in same-sex relationships (including myself) can get kind of huffy about it. That is not always helpful, so lets talk about that question.

3.6k

Who cares who leads? Non-gendered first dance ideas for all

My brother-in-law — who has never danced himself — once told me that it is only natural in dancing that the man leads and the woman follows. Having taught many partner dance classes, from Swing to French Folk, I can tell you that that is completely and utterly untrue. Of course there is nothing wrong with the "man leads, woman follows shuffle"-type first dance, but not every wedding involves one man and one woman. And even for those who do, there are many options beyond the traditional first dance…