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Planning a straight wedding as a lifelong feminist and member of the LGBTQ community was a challenge wrought with emotion, guilt, and confusion (in addition, of course, to all the blissful feelings of being engaged and in love).

I was a feminist way before it was cool, when it was decidedly UNCOOL. I realized that I liked girls as a teenager in the nineties going to a Catholic school, where the only openly gay teacher was a female gym coach who wasn't allowed in the girls' locker room. Gay marriage would not be a reality until nearly 15 years after I realized I might want to marry a woman. At different points in my life, I've hated both men and straight people; not out of malice, but out of fear, rejection, and really bad experiences.

Then I decided to marry a straight dude.

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It was so difficult for me to propose to my fiancé. I grew up with a ton of stories about how men are supposed to propose to women, how they should create the perfect, amazing story. I watched tons of flash mob proposals with internet videos. I watched opera proposals. And movie proposals. And same sex hardware store proposals. Then I met my now fiancé and realized that none of those things worked for us, and that we needed to rewrite the story…

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Lately I've been feeling guilty. Then I've been feeling guilty about feeling guilty because I should know that I don't need to feel guilty. I've been feeling this way because I happen to be a woman who wants to get married someday. This in itself isn't a new development, but now I actively WANT it. Now "quirky engagement rings" keeps finding itself in my Pinterest search history and Offbeat Bride is gradually making its way up my most visited sites. It's literally proposal guilt.