I’m an avid player of all tabletop roleplaying games. But my favorite, the one I keep coming back to, is good ol’ Dungeons and Dragons. I have played characters at all levels, from a 1st-level rogue who could get knocked out if a goblin sneezed on her the wrong way to a 27th-level bard who ultimately became the avatar of a god, and everything in between. I’ve scoured books and websites looking for just the right prestige class, feat, or special ability to make my characters the very best they could be. But what does this have to do with wedding planning? Or budgeting? Turns out, quite a lot…
Between making sure my makeup is “photo-worthy” to chronicling the planning progress (Offbeat Bride, you are my enabler!), the era of instant documentation and weddings is a match made in heaven. Who doesn’t want an excuse to show off pictures of their wedding day? Now you have a reason to take photos of the knitting project you’ve been toiling over for months. Who doesn’t love to get feedback from others fawning over your dress, décor, music, etc? But when does celebrating a day become validating an event?
About one-and-a-half years into what is shaping up to be a four-year engagement, my future brother-in law proposed to his then-girlfriend. I love these people very, very much, so naturally, I was filled with excitement, happiness, love, and… jealousy? I was filled with guilt about my reactions. It ate into me, and fighting them caused me hours of anxiety. It got to a point where the positive emotions I did feel were getting blotted out. So, I just gave in to my jealousy. I embraced the emotion and allowed myself to fully experience it…
Anticipating and accepting Judgy McJudgersons, or: why I should stop reading websites that are bad for my mental health
I feel happy in the Tribe and reading Offbeat Bride, because we’re all on our best behavior. We’re supportive, even when someone does something we wouldn’t do. But sometimes, I go and do the Bad Thing where I read Other Websites that Make Me Feel Bad. Why do I do this? Why can’t I stop? I think I do it because it feeds the Insecurity Monster inside of me.
I don’t want any of you looking back on your wedding and being like, “God, I don’t even like Game Of Thrones that much.” Offbeater-than-thou weddings just for offbeatness’ sake? That’s a misdemeanor right there, and we won’t arrest you, but we will escort you off of the property to head over to Offbeat Home & Life’s archives, where we can support you with awesome articles to build self-awareness and confidence. We believe in rehabilitative treatment here.
Do you ever feel like you’re getting it from both sides: you’ve got pressure to be more traditional and materialistic on one side, and on the other side, you’ve got pressure to be uniquer, more special-er, authentically truly meaningfully YOU-er. Back! Forth! Back! Forth! I can resist tradition! I don’t want to avoid something just because it’s traditional! I like chair covers! But I can’t like chair covers! Everything we picked is personal! Now it feels like of embarrassing…like it’s over the top and “me me me”!
THIS, my friends, is what one reader coined as WIC-whiplash (WIC-lash?). Together, we’re going to take a deep breath and try to get over it.