6.0k

Weddings: the petri dish of family drama

All sorts of your interests and lifestyle choices probably seem a little odd to your family, but until you're planning a wedding, it's easy to just sort of ignore the differences. It's not until you have the combination of two families coming together, social anxiety, financial considerations, religious and cultural traditions that all these things are forced up into your face.

But of course aesthetic choices are just the tip of the iceberg — planning your wedding will bring all sorts of larger issues to the forefront like financial and wedding budgeting issues (how does your family approach conversations about money? What are the dynamics around gifts and loans? How do you talk about savings or wedding debt?) and social obligations (how does your family feel about dealing with abusive relatives? What about wedding invitation tit-for-tat?).

3.1k

Fights about weddings will happen, here's how to work your politics into the compromise

I wish I read this post about consensual bridal showers when I first got engaged. I wouldn't have felt so "wrong" when I came across the same scenario… I tried to be polite. I tried to kindly turn it down. That didn't work. Then things got ugly. This is when I had a big realization… These fights about weddings will exist no matter how hard I try. But there are ways to work your politics into the compromise.

10k

Who the hell cares: important lessons from partners who aren't as interested in wedding planning

One detail that's been plaguing me ever since I bought my dress has been figuring out what I'm going to do with the length. So I go back and forth, back and forth, on this decision. The past six weeks or so, I was gung-ho about getting it shortened. Then, one night, I was telling my partner about how I was once again reconsidering. While I listed out the pros and cons of leaving my dress full-length, I could see his eyes begin to glaze over. "Mm-hmm," he said as I talked, stifling a yawn. Which was when I realized: Who the hell cares?

39k

I took off my ring yesterday

I took my ring off yesterday… I needed one day, just one, where I really considered whether this marriage was something I wanted. Throughout the in-law drama I would ask my my fiancé if he was absolutely sure he wanted to marry me. I realized I'd never really considered the question myself.