"Your wedding is tacky"
“You're tacky” mug available on Etsy

I am officially decreeing myself done with the word “tacky.” It's a word thrown around a lot in the wedding world — even the non-traditional wedding world!

People are worried their centerpieces will look tacky. People decree honeymoon registries tacky. There's muttering over etiquette: “I want to do things this way … but is that tacky?” brides whisper in terror. Tacky: the dark evil that sneaks into your bedroom and eats your face at night.

I'm here to tell you that, YES: everything you want to do for your wedding is tacky. All of it. The red dress is tacky. The handmade paper flowers are tacky. Your custom-designed invitations? TACKY.

Because you see, “tacky” is in the eye of the beholder and there is always, always going to be someone who sees things differently than you.

Your handwritten wedding vows? Tacky!

Using old mugs as favors? Tacky!

Your ribbon veil? Tacky!

Your father reading a poem he wrote instead of Corinthians? Tacky!

There is no end to the tackiness. It is ALL tacky, according to someone. Someone will tell you it's tacky to get married in your backyard. Someone will tell you it's tacky not to decorate your chairs with large bows and organza. Someone will tell you it's tacky to have portapotties at your wedding. Someone somewhere thinks sequined wedding shoes and button bouquets and Wai-Ching dresses are all tacky.

…This website? TACKY!

I'm exhausted by the tacky debate. I'm sick of people asking if some component of their wedding is tacky. (Sure it is! …to someone. Do you care? Is that why you're doing it?) I'm sick of commenters decreeing certain wedding thangs as tacky. (Sure it is! …to you. Do I care? Are you invited to my wedding?) Tacky: the dark monster that creeps in at night … tacky is the manifestation of your fears that people won't approve of your wedding.

Moving forward, I'm decreeing a moratorium on the word. When it's ALL tacky, none of it's tacky and we can finally stop talking about it.

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Comments on Your wedding is tacky

  1. “Tacky: the dark evil that sneaks into your bedroom and eats your face at night….”

    ROTFL. Have I told you lately that I love you Ariel?

  2. I am all about not making value judgments about other people or their ideas.

    However, as a girl (and a bride) who sometimes frets over whether or not things will be tacky or uncouth or rude or any of those synonyms I would like to say that it’s not always about fear.

    Sometimes I consider whether something is tacky out of consideration for others. I think that lots of us Offbeat Brides tend to toss around the “Who cares what so-and-so thinks”.

    Well, I do. And the reason I care about when my mother in law things is because I care about her. I’d like her to be happy and comfortable at my wedding (and in general) not out of fear but out of love.

    Sometimes the least “tacky” thing you can do is consider someone else’s feelings enough to change a little detail or put a little extra time/effort into making them feel like welcome guests at your event, instead of alienated participants.

  3. Totally needed that, Ariel. You rock. But I’m sure you knew that already 🙂

  4. You’re right. I keep forgetting to plan this thing for what *I* want! Who really cares what anyone else wants.

  5. tackytackytackytacky….yep, the word has lost all meaning. Except for meaning something that might stick to your hand if you touched it. Saying it over and over like that, makes the word feel more sticky.

  6. I never once thought about the word “tacky” in my planning. Truly, that word never crossed my mind until now. But I am sure someone will find my polka dot napkins and DIY paper flowers tacky. I guess I just never thought to wonder about tackiness because all the things I have planned make me feel happy and good.

  7. Samantha, I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t know that I’d think of “rude” as a synonym for “tacky.” One is about being inconsiderate and making people feel disrespected. The other is about subjective tastes. Making guests stand up for the duration of a 45 minute ceremony is rude. Giving them handmade glittery mini-pinatas as favors is tacky. I’m not for rudeness, but I’m all for supposed-tackyness.

  8. mini-pinatas?! holy crap, I want that! with little mini-sticks and then everyone can go on hitting them all at once.

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