"Your wedding is tacky"
“You're tacky” mug available on Etsy

I am officially decreeing myself done with the word “tacky.” It's a word thrown around a lot in the wedding world — even the non-traditional wedding world!

People are worried their centerpieces will look tacky. People decree honeymoon registries tacky. There's muttering over etiquette: “I want to do things this way … but is that tacky?” brides whisper in terror. Tacky: the dark evil that sneaks into your bedroom and eats your face at night.

I'm here to tell you that, YES: everything you want to do for your wedding is tacky. All of it. The red dress is tacky. The handmade paper flowers are tacky. Your custom-designed invitations? TACKY.

Because you see, “tacky” is in the eye of the beholder and there is always, always going to be someone who sees things differently than you.

Your handwritten wedding vows? Tacky!

Using old mugs as favors? Tacky!

Your ribbon veil? Tacky!

Your father reading a poem he wrote instead of Corinthians? Tacky!

There is no end to the tackiness. It is ALL tacky, according to someone. Someone will tell you it's tacky to get married in your backyard. Someone will tell you it's tacky not to decorate your chairs with large bows and organza. Someone will tell you it's tacky to have portapotties at your wedding. Someone somewhere thinks sequined wedding shoes and button bouquets and Wai-Ching dresses are all tacky.

…This website? TACKY!

I'm exhausted by the tacky debate. I'm sick of people asking if some component of their wedding is tacky. (Sure it is! …to someone. Do you care? Is that why you're doing it?) I'm sick of commenters decreeing certain wedding thangs as tacky. (Sure it is! …to you. Do I care? Are you invited to my wedding?) Tacky: the dark monster that creeps in at night … tacky is the manifestation of your fears that people won't approve of your wedding.

Moving forward, I'm decreeing a moratorium on the word. When it's ALL tacky, none of it's tacky and we can finally stop talking about it.

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Comments on Your wedding is tacky

  1. I had to battle the T word with a classmate who thought that having my wedding at my in-law’s home was just the “T*ckiest” thing ever. He actually asked, “Is their house at least nice?” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes at the uninvited backseat wedding coordinator.

    I love your diagram! Maybe we should recalim the word and change the definition because all I see is AWESOME!

  2. Etymology: from “tackey”, in the 1800’s, a word for a small horse usually of poor quality. I’m guessing the connection has to do with being owned by poor farmers, and those farmers had so little money that anything they did was low-quality or “tacky”.

    As for me, I had someone at my wedding say that they “didn’t normally go to hillbilly weddings”. …does that count as “tacky”? Should I be worried?

    …joking. Not worried. Seriously, the only thing tacky at my wedding was the fact that this person actually said this. THAT was tacky.

  3. Ooohh…I want someone to label all the t—- things in my wedding photos! Whatever in the world is wrong with words like ‘unique’, ‘crafty’, ‘personal’… and ‘fan-fucking-tastic’?!?!

    BTW….I love you Ariel!

  4. In response to Rachel:

    I was just thinking that my pasties that keep my nipples from poking through my wedding dress are tacky!

  5. This is exactly why Ariel is so great! Celebrate diversity, stay positive, try not to judge.

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