It's an odd thing I've discovered in my time here on Offbeat Bride. We're all special snowflakes — most of us very used to being the lone weirdo or the odd girl out, the one people stared at as she did her own thing, or maybe whispered about behind her back. I've spent many years thinking that all my “differences” made me special. And now, having found this Community of Awesome, that idea is starting to break down.
I'm not so different here. Almost every idea I have, someone else here has had before me, and someone else will have again after me. Things I thought no one else in the world could come up with, I have found tutorials about here. Which is great — don't get me wrong. I'd never know how to do anything I thought of without some of this help available, and I'm grateful for it. I'm also extremely grateful for the support, encouragement, and safety that Offbeat Bride provides.
But I am suddenly feeling distinctly NOT special.
So how to be a special snowflake in a drift of other special snowflakes? I'm not entirely sure yet. There are a few things I am sure of, though:
- I am not the first person to want to incorporate The Princess Bride into my wedding. I am not the first to want my officiant to start out with the Impressive Clergyman's speech, or even the first with the balls to actually do that.
- I am not the first to want to incorporate Harry Potter into my wedding. There are people who have done that as their entire theme, encompassing everything.
- I am not the first to want to be the Addams Family.
- I am not the first to want Muppets in my wedding, however I can possibly get them in.
- I am not the first to insist on doing the Time Warp at my reception.
- I am not the first to want to use Douglas Adams, or Dr. Seuss, or a rocked out version of Pachelbel's Canon, or Tesla, or a '50s dress, or a fascinator, or Chocolate Frogs, or a lemonade bar, or black roses on my wedding cake, or neon streaks in my bridesmaids' hair.
It has all been done. Or at least thought of. There is nothing new under the sun.
And the wonderful people who have done all these things before me are AMAZING! In a lot of ways, I feel like I am not awesome enough to try to do it behind them.
Your wedding is not a contest
The dirty flip-side of "my wedding is too weird" is "my wedding isn't weird enough." Both sentiments make me sad because your wedding is not... Read more
But I think that's exactly the point. However I do any of these things, it will be awesome and special because it's MY version. And however anyone else has done/will do them, it is awesome and special because it's their version.
So maybe this is it: Yes, every snowflake is unique. But sometimes it's only by the tiniest tweak of its crystalline structure. They may look alike to the naked eye, and even under some magnification. Sometimes you have to look VERY closely to see the differences. And it's reasonable to think that all snowflakes that come from a certain source or set of conditions will be somewhat similar, while each being unique.
So I am still a special snowflake. And so is everybody else here. We (I) don't need to be completely different from everything & everyone around us. And I'd much rather be in a big, happy, supportive & loving drift filled with other special snowflakes than be just one special snowflake all alone.
