This is our wedding logo. My partner, Dustin, is a huge Star Wars geek and I am obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas and all other things Tim Burton. We came up with the concept together — Dustin sketched up the drawing, then I refined the outline and colored it in.
Like our personalized wedding logo, our ceremony is something we came up with together and personalized as well. We wanted to keep it short, simple, and light-hearted but also emphasizing equality — you will not find the word “obey” in this ceremony…
Officiant: Good evening friends, family, and you back there. Not sure who you are. We've got this little detail of a marriage to take care of before we can start the party. We have all been invited here today to share a very important moment in Dustin and Deyanna's lives. No, not the release of the Nightmare Before Christmas Two, the Clause Strikes Back, but that their love and understanding for each other has grown and matured, and they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.
Dustin and Deyanna thank you for your presence here today, and now ask for your encouragement and lifelong support in their decision to become a family.
Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of all human relationships. As good as I may be… and believe me, I am very good… No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience; through dedication and listening; through supporting and believing in each other. By fighting through the zombies and vampires; through the Sith and bounty hunters. By learning to make the important things matter, and letting go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together despite the occasional urge to run away.
To make a marriage work, we learn to overlook and forgive the things that may frustrate us. Like Dustin being absent-minded and always leaving his stuff where it doesn't belong. Or Deyanna being stubborn and always stealing Dustin's comfy clothes. These two are promising to stick together through all the poopy diapers, unfolded laundry, and dirty dishes. To support one another through all the bad traffic, annoying co-workers, and airport security lines.
But marriage isn't all bad… it's also about having someone to laugh with, to hug, and, when needed, pull your finger. It's having someone who will get your dumb jokes and obscure movie references. Marriage is having a confidant, a partner in crime, and a best friend.
Now we will have the best man and maid of honor tell you the meaning of love as defined by Calvin and Hobbes.
Wedding reading:Calvin: Hobbes, What's it like to fall in love?
Hobbes: Well… say the object of your affection walks by…
Hobbes: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.
Calvin: THAT'S LOVE?!?
Hobbes: Medically speaking.
Calvin: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!
Officiant: Thank you, guys. The couple has prepared their vows.
[We read our vows]
Officiant: Their beautiful son will now present the rings which represent their bond.
Officiant: Will you, Dustin, love Deyanna with all your heart and keep her as your wife for the rest of your life?
Dustin: As you wish.
Officiant: Will you, Deyanna, love Dustin with all you heart and keep him as your husband for the rest of your life?
Deyanna: As you wish.
Officiant: Usually couples choose to do a unity candle or other similar display of their coming together… but Dustin and Deyanna aren't your usual couple. So, as a sign of their united front, they will be slaying a symbolic zombie head together.
[chop zombie head]
Officiant: Then, as your friend and as your quizmaster, I now pronounce you more officially married! You may now gross everyone out.