In honor of April Fool's Day, we're letting satirical wedding site The Every Bride take over Offbeat Bride for a minute…
Is it too early to start planning my wedding just because I'm a fetus?
Dear The Every Bride,
I am a three-month-old, yet to be named fetus currently growing things like a lungs and heart in my mother’s womb. I was just wondering, is it too early to start planning my wedding?
Dear yet to be named fetus,
Absolutely not! As a matter of fact, there are three things you should already have completed by the time of birth:
Consider what type of wedding you want to have
It is very important, early on, to think about what you want your ceremony and reception to look and feel like. Is it more traditional or alternative? A destination wedding or something near your home? Do you want a big wedding or a more intimate gathering? As the answers to these questions will help determine many of your other choices, we recommend you have this completed by the middle of the second trimester at the latest.
Consider and book the venue
Shortly after deciding what type of wedding you want, it is important to book a venue that matches this vision as soon as possible. As many venues book up quickly, we recommend that this decision and reservation is made by the end of the second trimester.
Consider, and shop for, fashion
Once you know what type of wedding you have, and what your venue is, it’s time for the fun part: fashion! Let the type of wedding you want and the venue inform this decision. While we highly recommend you begin looking for what you plan to wear on your special day before you are born, we do recommend waiting until several days after you leave the hospital before actually purchasing what you’ll wear at your wedding, in order to see what looks best with your hair and complexion.
Hope this helps and good luck on your planning and prenatal development!
The Every Bride
Woman realizes she just spent two and a half hours looking at pictures of wedding cakes
Late Friday evening, bride-to-be Gianna Ambrosino realized that she spent roughly the amount of time it would have taken her to read a short novel, run a half marathon, or watch the unextended version of The Fellowship of the Rings doing nothing but looking at pictures of cake.
“I sat down at about 9:00 p.m. just to check an e-mail. Next thing I know, it’s 11:32 p.m., I still haven’t checked my e-mail, and I realize that I just spent the past one hundred and fifty minutes flipping through pictures of wedding cake,” explained a confused Ambrosino.
Ambrosino wasn’t quite sure how or why she ended up on the wedding advice website — she believes she may have been looking to see if the novelty chevron straws she wanted to purchase were still available — but before she knew what happened it was approaching midnight and she had looked at 231 of the 572 cake galleries available on the site. “I started looking at the sugar flower cakes, then the pink frosted cakes, then lavender frosted cakes, then summer themed cakes, then under the sea themed cakes, and then it’s honestly just a blur. I was sort of just in this trance state until my fiancé texted me just after 11:30 p.m. to tell me good night,” continued Ambrosino.
When asked if she had found a cake to model her wedding cake on, she told The Every Bride that her and her partner had always planned on having pie and ice cream instead.
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