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The offbeat bride: Sparkly: writer/editor by day, burlesque performer by night (and Tribe member)

Her offbeat partner: Bones: tech support dude by day, rock-n-roll drummer by night

Location & date of wedding: DNA Lounge, San Francisco, CA — October 10, 2010

What made our wedding offbeat: I'm a burlesque performer and my husband is a drummer (and my occasional burlesque partner on stage). We knew from the get go that we wanted a big, flamboyant, theatrical, totally epic party.

Screen Shot 2013-05-27 at 2.52.45 PMOur entertainment for the evening included burlesque acts, two aerialists, a bullwhip artist (in pasties!), skits, and a handful of our friends delivering “celebrity roasts.” We also screened my magnus opus.

I'm one of the founding members of the Hubba Hubba Revue, which produces a huge burlesque & variety show every month at the DNA Lounge. As soon as Bones proposed, I knew I wanted to model my wedding after the Hubba Hubba format. Bones & I even decided to have a Hubba burlesque show for our reception. How could we not?!Screen Shot 2013-05-27 at 2.52.01 PM

Tell us about the ceremony: Our wedding procession was set to Depeche Mode's The Sweetest Perfection. My big, tough, dreadlocked tattooed bad boy started crying as soon as I walked down the aisle.

A gorilla was their ring bearer!
A gorilla was their ring bearer!

Our officiant, Hubba producer Kingfish, wrote the silliest and sweetest ceremony proceedings. He cited Voltron and quoted Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and instructed our guests to throw the goat in honor of our newly wedded union. It was the perfect counterpart to our very emotional and weepy vows.

After he pronounced us man and wife, we immediately played the Scorpions' Rock You Like a Hurricane. We danced and rocked our way off of stage followed by our entire wedding party. The entire audience was going ballistic, screaming, rocking out, crying and laughing. It was by far probably the most memorable moment of my lifetime 🙂

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Screen Shot 2013-05-27 at 2.58.23 PMOur biggest challenge: Since we all perform at the DNA every single month, I really did not want my wedding to feel like just another night at the DNA. Here's where my own personal Superwoman swooped in:

One of my bridesmaids, a fellow burlesque performer named Lady Satan, did the lion's share of the decorating. Because we had a teeny budget, she used almost 100% recycled material, which she either found on Craigslist or at Scrap, a junkyard-esque artist supply warehouse in San Francisco. There was really no end to her ingenuity. She took bags of “junk” and turned them into elegant votives, birdcages, and designs. She took a dark and very industrial looking nightclub and completely transformed itinto a gorgeous, bold, elegant, breathtaking venue.
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My favorite moment: I'm sure everyone says this, but it's because it's true: our vows. When we first met, Bones lived in Brooklyn and I lived in San Francisco. I just couldn't bring myself to leave SF and my Hubba family so, he made the ultimate sacrifice and left behind his family, friends and job to move out here to be with me. Hearing him put that all into words, standing before me, slipping the ring on my finger — well, there wasn't a dry eye in the house!

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Also, my bridesmaid conceived of and designed our wishing tree which was an LED-lit cherry blossom tree. It was so beautiful I burst into tears when I first saw it.

My funniest moment: Our movie, which was my own personal little stab at the bridal industry, was hilarious. It went over like gangbusters, but the unexpected runaway hit, by far, was a skit I wrote as a tribute to my husband. As mentioned, he's from Brooklyn, and he has a very “unique” way of stating things. For the wedding, I enlisted the help of an immensely talented opera and cabaret singer named Wiggy Darlington, to present An Operatic Interpretation of ShitBonesSays.

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What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Learning to let go, and to trust myself and my ability as a burlesque show producer (which translates really easily to wedding planning). I know everyone always says planning a wedding will make you want to kill your partner, but it only made me fall even more in love with mine. I learned so much about him, myself, us as a couple, and our friends. And it was all good stuff 🙂

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Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!

Comments on Sparkly and Bones’s epic burlesque nightclub wedding

  1. I love the corset, my fiance and I are actually
    Planning a vintage burlesque themed wedding ourselves, and the led tree is fantastic!

  2. Ah…May..ZING! So cool, I would love love love to do big and theatrical, but it ain’t gonna happen. Small and inexpensive is where I’m at, but I still love looking at chit like this!

  3. Please tell me about your shoes!

    And OMG the wedding was hot hot H-O-T! I love it all! The cherry blossom tree, the colors, the dress….every bit!

  4. I only have two words; Severe jealousy! This is the most epic and amazing wedding of awesomeness… EVER!

  5. Thanks for the profile! 🙂

    I also have a little happy ending: my bridesmaid who did so much work was so inspired by the experience that she decided to start her own wedding and event planning company! Yay!

    She is still working on the URL, but in the meantime, here is a link to her FB Group:!/home.php?sk=group_165849306774960

    The company is called Paper Owl events and her name is Kate. If you are in San Francisco and planning a wedding or event, go straight to Kate!

    Also, if you want to check out even more photos, the DNA put up a gallery that includes our photobooth here:

    Thanks again to everyone at OBB & OBT for all the support & inspiration!!

  6. I love this wedding it looked incredible!!!!
    And shitbonessays now has everyone in my office thinking I’m nuts beacuse I was cracking up!!!

  7. Awesomeness! Nice to see someone else throwing Dio horns at their wedding… my hubby still make fun of me! lol

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