Ultra romantic wedding readings (with some real talk) from some of our favorite offbeat weddings

December 11 2015 | bijouxandbits  
Photos by: Mojo Weddings
Romantic wedding readings as seen on @offbeatbride
Photo by Mojo Weddings

We trawled through our archives to find romantic wedding readings (and some with some real talk) that we hadn't yet featured in our pretty substantial archive of wedding readings. Boy did we find some. From vacuum cleaners and mashed potatoes to onions and Bob Marley, love means a lot of things to a lot of people. See if any of these readings strike the right chord for your ceremony.

"I Wanna Be Yours" by John Cooper Clarke

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my devotion

Mashed Potato Love Poem by Sidney Hoddes and Paul Carey

"If I ever had to choose between you and a third helping of mashed potato (whipped lightly with a fork, not whisked, with a little pool of butter melting in the middle…)
I think
I'd choose
the mashed potato.

But I'd choose you next."

"Tiny Beautiful Things" by Cheryl Strayed

"My mother’s last word to me clanks inside me like an iron bell that someone beats at dinnertime: love, love, love, love, love. Be brave. Be authentic. Practice saying the word ‘love’ to the people you love so when it matters most to say it, you will.

We’re all going to die. Hit the iron bell like it’s dinnertime."

"Why Marriage" by Dena Acolatse

Because of the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body.

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won’t hold them against me,
Who loves me when I’m unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me.

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night,
With someone who is thankful for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold.

Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship.

Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements.

Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole.

Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage.

Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless
and our love will last forever.

"Valentine" by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.

It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.
Here.

It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.
I am trying to be truthful.
Not a cute card or kissogram.
I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

"I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I… I will be here
If in the dark we lose sight of love
Hold my hand and have no fear
'Cause I… I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to crying
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I… I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I… I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here, hmmm

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I… I will be here
We'll be together
I will be here

"He’s Not Perfect" by Bob Marley

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

From The 22 (Non-Negotiable) Laws of Wellness by Greg Anderson

"The greatest pursuit is not good health, unsurpassed wisdom, economic surplus, political freedom, or even faith that can move mountains.

It is the daily practice of the greatest of the non-negotiable laws of wellness, the Law of Unconditional Loving.

Unconditional, nonjudgmental loving. This is our aim, life’s single highest and most rewarding pursuit…

The highest expression of Divine Design is applied love found in loving relationships between people. Not the erotic love we see on television and in the movies but love rooted in a decision to serve. It is a dynamic state of consciousness, a giving, creative flow, and a harmony. It’s an acceptance of the human condition as perfectly imperfect. And it is a choice to love without regard to any conditions; no 'ifs' are allowed in this, the greatest of laws."

What readings are YOU using at your ceremony, if you're going that route?

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