Ultra romantic wedding readings (with some real talk) from some of our favorite offbeat weddings #Ceremony Advice#ceremony#readings December 11 2015 | Catherine Clark bijouxandbits Photos by: Mojo Weddings Photo by Mojo Weddings Related Post Sweet, serious, and non-gaggy: a few of y'all's very favorite wedding readings about love When we're doing our wedding profiles, we noticed some trends in nontraditional readings… readings that clearly Offbeat Brides tend to adore. We trawled through our archives to find romantic wedding readings (and some with some real talk) that we hadn't yet featured in our pretty substantial archive of wedding readings. Boy did we find some. From vacuum cleaners and mashed potatoes to onions and Bob Marley, love means a lot of things to a lot of people. See if any of these readings strike the right chord for your ceremony. "I Wanna Be Yours" by John Cooper Clarke I wanna be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust I wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust If you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot You call the shots I wanna be yours I wanna be your raincoat for those frequent rainy days I wanna be your dreamboat when you want to sail away Let me be your teddy bear take me with you anywhere I don’t care I wanna be yours I wanna be your electric meter I will not run out I wanna be the electric heater you’ll get cold without I wanna be your setting lotion hold your hair in deep devotion Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean that’s how deep is my devotion Mashed Potato Love Poem by Sidney Hoddes and Paul Carey "If I ever had to choose between you and a third helping of mashed potato (whipped lightly with a fork, not whisked, with a little pool of butter melting in the middle…) I think I'd choose the mashed potato. But I'd choose you next." "Tiny Beautiful Things" by Cheryl Strayed "My mother’s last word to me clanks inside me like an iron bell that someone beats at dinnertime: love, love, love, love, love. Be brave. Be authentic. Practice saying the word ‘love’ to the people you love so when it matters most to say it, you will. We’re all going to die. Hit the iron bell like it’s dinnertime." "Why Marriage" by Dena Acolatse Because of the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body. Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, Who won’t hold them against me, Who loves me when I’m unlikable, Who sees the small child in me, and Who looks for the divine potential of me. Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night, With someone who is thankful for me, With someone I feel blessed to hold. Because marriage means opportunity To grow in love in friendship. Because marriage is a discipline To be added to a list of achievements. Because marriages do not fail, people fail When they enter into marriage Expecting another to make them whole. Because, knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage Together we create our marriage. Because with this understanding The possibilities are limitless and our love will last forever. 30 geek movie love quotes Slogging through traditional love quotes can be taxing, especially when you just want something that tingles that geek-loving robot heart of yours. We root for the geeky underdog to get… Read More "Valentine" by Carol Ann Duffy Not a red rose or a satin heart. I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. Not a cute card or kissogram. I give you an onion. Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips, possessive and faithful as we are, for as long as we are. Take it. Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring, if you like. Lethal. Its scent will cling to your fingers, cling to your knife. "I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman Tomorrow morning if you wake up And the sun does not appear I… I will be here If in the dark we lose sight of love Hold my hand and have no fear 'Cause I… I will be here I will be here When you feel like being quiet When you need to speak your mind I will listen And I will be here When the laughter turns to crying Through the winning, losing and trying We'll be together 'Cause I will be here Tomorrow morning if you wake up And the future is unclear I… I will be here As sure as seasons are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I… I will be here I will be here And you can cry on my shoulder When the mirror tells us we're older I will hold you And I will be here To watch you grow in beauty And tell you all the things you are to me I will be here, hmmm I will be true to the promise I have made To you and to the One who gave you to me And just as sure as seasons are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I… I will be here We'll be together I will be here "He’s Not Perfect" by Bob Marley “He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” From The 22 (Non-Negotiable) Laws of Wellness by Greg Anderson "The greatest pursuit is not good health, unsurpassed wisdom, economic surplus, political freedom, or even faith that can move mountains. It is the daily practice of the greatest of the non-negotiable laws of wellness, the Law of Unconditional Loving. Unconditional, nonjudgmental loving. This is our aim, life’s single highest and most rewarding pursuit… The highest expression of Divine Design is applied love found in loving relationships between people. Not the erotic love we see on television and in the movies but love rooted in a decision to serve. It is a dynamic state of consciousness, a giving, creative flow, and a harmony. It’s an acceptance of the human condition as perfectly imperfect. And it is a choice to love without regard to any conditions; no 'ifs' are allowed in this, the greatest of laws." 42 romantic quotes to make your toes curl in the best possible ways You've seen our list of 52 incredibly romantic and not (too) cheesy love quotes, right? Well, I'm here to give you Part Two, with 42 more quotes to make your… Read More What readings are YOU using at your ceremony, if you're going that route? Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Catherine Clark Catherine Clark is Offbeat Bride's Senior Editor. In her spare time she loiters at her local library, makes art, watches movies en masse, plays video and tabletop games, poorly cooks healthy things, cuddles with her feline fur baby, and blogs at BijouxandBits.com. @enidjcoleslaw @bijouxandbits @bijouxandbits PREVIOUS How I let go of waiting for a proposal story, and created my own NEXT 12 pairs of adorably petal-like shoes with scalloped edges Show/Hide comments [ 0 ] Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! 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