Recent bride reality check

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Tribe member Rodrigues left this message on the Offbeat Bride facebook page:

I am glad to see you touching on subjects of marriage and tradition/values rather than just “wedding detritus.” I think its really important to steer the focus away from stuff whenever possible, especially since its so easy to become obsessed with it while you are planning.

It's only been three days since I got married and already the “stuff” we had at our wedding seems frivolous — the best and most important parts were the ways in which people we loved were able to participate, seeing so many friends and family travel across and country and across continents to see us exchange vows, and the actual vows themselves.

Amen, girl. Oh and by the way? Your first dance looks like heaven…

Comments on Recent bride reality check

  1. I totally agree. We’re getting married in July; we’re gathering thrift store dishes and freecycled chairs and still have a way to go. So about a month agoI had a “freak out”. Then thankfully I can to my senses and realized that our family and friends love us and worse-case-scenario would cop a squat in the grass on blankets or eat off paper plates. The stuff isn’t the reason they’re coming to our wedding; it’s us. 🙂

  2. AMEN is right! I suspect/hope we obsess over the “stuff” part because we have the important part – a fantastic partner, a stable commitment, joy to share – covered. well, that and the WIC shoves the “detritus” down throats because that’s the part they make money on.
    Congratulations and Felicitations Rodrigues! can’t wait to see more photos!

  3. sometimes you do have to sit back and ask yourself “what will people take away/remember about our wedding?” its most likely not the table cloth, centerpiece or flowers. It probably is how happy the bride and groom looked and maybe if the food was good or bad 🙂 things to consider if you are trying to cut costs in certain areas- maybe spend more on food or your dress and less on the linens or flowers.

  4. cute! I do like the focus on relationships. Maybe you could make a small post about things to remember/consider on your wedding day – a kind of anti-freakout guide.

  5. Great reminder- Here is something that I am doing to help myself keep perspective.

    Think of all the weddings you have attended over the past decade.
    What were the colors?
    Were there an equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids?
    What did the invitation look like?
    The brides dress?
    Did you have chicken or pasta?
    Was there live music?
    What about the table decor?
    Theme?

    Now try this-
    Who got married?
    Remember any of the toasts?
    If there was a slideshow, did any of the photo’s bring back memories?
    Did you see someone you hadn’t seen in a long time?
    Where was it held? (backyard, church, ballroom, etc)
    What was the mood and the feel of the wedding?
    Did you get to spend much time with the couple?
    Is this couple still together?

    I’m kind of amazed that I can remember almost an entire speech given at my cousin’s wedding (by a guy I have never met), which was about 7 years ago. It was about how my cousin is really a lucky guy, because all these crazy wonderful things always happen to him (which were told in great detail). But then he said that he and my cousins friends were the luckiest of them all, because they got to have my cousin and his wife in their lives.
    I can also remember the look on a brides face during a wedding I attended about 8 years ago. She was crying the whole way down the isle, but it didn’t look like tears of joy. I remember people saying during the reception that they didn’t think the union would last. It didn’t. I wonder if they had spent more time looking at their relationship prior to the wedding, instead of the “stuff,” if the outcome would have been different. Did the inner voice that said “you are not right for each other,” get drowned out by phone calls with vendors?

  6. What a wonderful point and such (such such such) a gorgeously captured moment. This comment is totally without purpose other than to say how b e a u t i f u l that picture is.

  7. The more I get into wedding planning, the more it seems the entire process is designed to distract you from the fact that you’re getting married. It almost feels at times like weddings and marriage are two completely separate things.
    I have to remember to stop every now and again and reflect on why we’re doing all of this, and this post was a great reminder. Thanks 🙂

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