Reader Survey results, Part 1 #Features#reader survey Updated Oct 12 2015 (Posted Feb 10 2010) Ariel arielmstallings Almost 2500 of you took my 2010 Reader Survey in January, and I figured I'd say thank you by sharing some of the results. First, the nitty gritty: Unsurprisingly, 98% of you are women, with 1% each identifying as male or transgender (Aside: big thanks to the reader who suggested I add "Neither/Both" as a gender option. I'd let the survey software autopopulate the gender question with Male and Female as the only options, which was dumb. Sarah Dopp of Genderfork recently wrote a great post on this) The majority of you are in your mid- to late-20s 85% of you are white and 7% of you are multi-racial 13% of you identify as gay, lesbian, transgender, or otherwise queer Now, let's dive into some more nuanced data… It's interesting to me that really only half of you are currently engaged. Offbeat Bride is of course primarily about wedding planning, but a third of our readers are either not yet engaged (18%) or recently married (14%). Y'all show up for the party early, and stay late to help us wash the dishes — I love that about you! When I last did a reader survey just over a year ago, the most shocking thing I learned was how few offbeatbride.com readers read my book. In December 2008, 65% of you hadn't read my book, prompting me to write a post titled 10 reasons you need to read Offbeat Bride the book, and not just offbeatbride.com. Clearly, my efforts were fruitless because this year 72% of you haven't read the book. I'm trying to convince myself that it's because some of you are waiting for the second edition to be released in a couple weeks. If you've been waiting, ladies: NOW IS THE TIME! In terms of what y'all want to see on the site, you told us loud and clear that you want more DIY content, more advice, and more budgeting tips. Well, I've already got Offbeat Shrie bumping up her DIY efforts, and I've recommitted myself to answering more advice questions. As far as budgeting, I'll see what I can do to bring in a few guest-posters. The write-in comments for what you want more of on the site were super interesting. One of the challenges of running a site dedicated to nontraditional brides is that ALL of you wants to see more people like yourself on the site — and you're a diverse lot! More Native American brides, more plus size brides, more international content, more Jewish weddings, more stuff in the Midwest, more interfaith weddings, more black wedding gowns, more information about elopements, more men. Related Post The best decision I made in my marriage? Keeping my name. There are many, many stories out there about why women have chosen to change their names upon getting married. In fact, a recent survey by... Read more Of course we try to provide ALL these things, but the sad truth is this: Offbeat Bride will never be everything for everyone. We do the best we can to keep the site varied and diverse, but ultimately there are a few things we just aren't: Offbeat Bride is written for women. Offbeat Grooms get coverage here and everyone is welcome to read, but ultimately I wrote my book and founded this website to cater to women, and that focus will remain. In having this focus, I'm certainly not saying men shouldn't love weddings and be actively involved in planning them. I'm just saying I do my best writing and community building for women, and so that's what I choose to do. I recommend the Offbeat Groom Gang for the menfolks! Offbeat Bride is based in the United States. We LOVE international weddings and featured tons of weddings in the UK and Australia/New Zealand, but ultimately we're American and it would be disingenuous to claim we're experts on wedding traditions or trends in other countries. Offbeat Bride is focused on weddings. This means that we're not especially interested in engagement stories and photos, and we don't dedicate a ton of time to talking about marriage. I'm trying to integrate a bit more of this "offbeat wife" post-wedding writings for y'all, but for the most part I chose to keep this site focused on weddings. All this is to say: YES! We're always aiming to get a wider diversity of brides and weddings on this site. But, NO! There's just no way we'll be able to be absolutely everything to every single one of you. There's only one person who can make the perfect website for, say, an Inuit rockabilly planning a queer interfaith Jewish ceremony in a cave — and that's you. So while you might not always relate to every single thing you see on Offbeat Bride, hopefully you can enjoy most of it. Coming in Part 2: What subcultures do most Offbeat Brides identify with? What's coming next for Offbeat Bride? And what Offbeat website will we be launching next? Ariel Author of three editions of the Offbeat Bride book and the brand-new From Shitshow To Afterglow, Ariel Meadow Stallings acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading or writing books, chances are good that she's dancing or happy-crying. To follow her latest work, join join The Afterglow, for exclusive access to essays, videos, online courses, and more. PREVIOUS Because taxes go great with wedding planning NEXT Rainbow Bride Show/Hide comments [ 83 ] I can not wait for the second edition of the book! I just read the first one and it is interesting that more people haven't read the book. Reply Not to sell myself short, but I'm not sure I'd recommend buying the second edition if you've read the first — there's not THAT much new material. 🙂 I mean, if you want to, be my guest of course!! But I'd hate for you to think you're getting a new book and find that it's just a new intro, one new chapter, and a new cover. Reply The stymied genderqueer person who asked for the Neither/Both option? That was me. Thanks again for adding it, and gladly; one of the joys of this site is its diversity and openness, and this wedding-planning trip is weird and difficult enough without me being made more aware that I don't fit into boxes very well. Hell, this *life* is weird and difficult enough without that being made more obvious. 🙂 So thanks for making something easy. I appreciate it. Reply I LOVE this site. We are down to 38 days until the big day and it makes me a little sad that once I'm married I won't be able to get ideas from here anymore..but you can bet I'll still be logging in. I enjoying seeing everyone's ideas and all the different weddings even though I might not do it for mine I still love how authentic everyone is to themselves. Reply I'm one of those non-engaged / non-bride readers. But I am an artist. I love reading this blog (and the book) because all of you ladies are SO CREATIVE! It's wonderful to see how you all express yourselves starting with the same template: two people in love wanting to make a public commitment. Reply I'm the same way – not engaged, but love all the gorgeous, artsy brilliance that pops up on here constantly. I haven't bought the book since I'm not planning a wedding – but when that changes, I certainly will! Reply I didn't read the book for two reasons. First, I feel like I got most of what I would have gotten from the book on the website. I'm sure there is tons of stuff in the book that isn't on the website, but I got the general idea (your wedding is not a contest, do what makes you happy) from the website. Also, I heard from someone who had read the book that it is mostly your individual story and less general advice. Usually I love reading advice based around a personal story, but I think you probably know enough about weddings to minimize your story and devote more time to the vital information that we all need. That's just me, though. I definitely considered purchasing it many times because the price is good, and I'm actually still considering it now that I'm married, which is pretty weird. Reply I admit, I found the site first, and then when I became officially engaged, I bought the book. (I figured, hiding a website I visit frequently would be easier than hiding a book from my FH. Hey, I wanted my proposal to him to be a complete surprise… :)) Reply yeah…I LOVE offbeat bride, and offbeat mama, because this is where I see myself in 1-2 years, and I need to get those ideas brewin. However, if FH knew either of those two timelines, I would have some splainin' to do. The wedding porn is just as easy to hide as, say, real porn when only viewed on the webs. Reply I love reading the Reader Survey Results… I always find it so interesting. Can't wait for Part Two! Reply I read the book about 5 months into wedding planning, and I wish I had read it before I started planning. Ariel, you covered so many obstacles I had just dealt with, it would have been nice to realize they were coming before I hit them… I felt that the book was indeed mostly story, but I LOVED that about it. It was much more interesting and easy to read than a pure wedding guide. I actually wanted to read more (whereas the other wedding books I picked up were too dry to read for more than 5 minutes at a time). Ultimately, I found that the blog and (especially!) OBT were more useful in concrete details of wedding planning, but the book was useful for the overall feeling of what I was experiencing and likely to experience as I continued my planning… That's my two cents! BTW, it was last year's survey and the "10 reasons you must read the book" post that made me actually grab it off Amazon…. so not completely fruitless, your efforts 😉 Reply mmm….. survey data……. Love reading about this… more graphs please! It's true, I think I did say I wanted to see more of me:) well, people similar to me. Did brides who identified themselves as more 'bookish' buy your book? Reply I'd totally read your book if you had an Australian distributor! ;P I'm far to lazy to buy it online. Reply Dina, I felt this way originally, and none of the NZ bookstores stocked it. But eventually I bought the book from Amazon and it was SO EXCITING when it arrived. I was most persuaded by Ariel's reasoning "support the woman who supports you!" Reply I second this; please sell it in Australia! I looked for it in bookstores here but couldn't find it 🙁 Reply I'm a "not quite engaged" reader, and thats the only reason I haven't yet bought the book. The boyfriend is a little sensitive about getting married on his terms, not just mine (understandable, marriage is a team effort) and might lose his stuff if I start buying wedding books already! I've had to restrain myself at the bookstore a few times and Offbeat Bride is always the first I reach for. Why do I read the blog then? I'm a weird girl in a town that doesn't appreciate weird and I think that planning the wedding will be a delicate task, therefore I'm trying to soak up as much info and advice as possible. Thanks again for everything you do, this is one of the best online communities I've come across, period. Reply I'm exactly the same! I haven't bought the book because I'm 'not-quite-engaged'. It's easy to read the site at work and drool over the weddings but it's a bit weird to buy a book before you're engaged! Reply I'm exactly the same! I haven't bought the book because I'm 'not-quite-engaged'. It's easy to read the site at work and drool over the weddings but it's a bit weird to buy a book before you're engaged! Reply Agreed! Count me as another not-quite-fiancee. We've looked at rings, but haven't sealed the deal. I'd guess a lot of us in this 18% are skittish about buying the book. I've got it in my amazon wishlist and I'll have it sent to me the moment I qualify for the OBT… Reply Update! I'm now engaged and the 2nd edition of Offbeat Bride should be arriving in an amazon box any day now 😉 Reply I waited until Derrik engaged me to buy the book last year. I will say that I read the website before I bought the book. I have to say having both has been very beneficial. It is kind of like having a text book that has a good website you can get updated information from. I really wish I could justify buying the second edition. I might buy it after I start my summer job. Thanks for sharing the reader survey, I'm looking forward to the next part. Reply Is "cult of personality" a valid reason? 😉 I actually stumbled across you in a Pink Hair LJ, and your Electrolicious website and photos were so interesting, I just kept wandering over. I've been married almost 19 years, and my kids have another 10 years or so before they are in that zone…. but I love looking at the crazy creative beautiful stuff you post. The fashion and fresh ideas. I discovered Steampunk thru Off-Beat Bride! Thru Off-Beat Bride, my 11yo daughter has been exposed to much more than the "White Princess Bride" homogeneity that is rampant. It's really important to have kids see other ideas besides the ones that rule their small suburb. Keep up the good work. Reply Good job showing this to your daughter! I think more girls need to be exposed to positive wedding reinforcement. Reply Also one of the not-yet-engaged girls, but I'm hoping to change that this weekend. 🙂 When the time for real planning starts to come around, I will most certainly grab the book. Don't want to be TOO pre-emptive just yet, ya know. Thus far, my opinion of this site overall is simply downright entertaining and inspiring! Reply I haven't read the book *yet* – honestly, we're planning a wedding in 8 months (now 7, and it's by choice, I personally don't have the patience for a long engagement!), and since getting engaged I've had no time to get to the library! Plus, with budget cuts, most libraries nearby don't have Sunday hours, and guess what … neither do bridal salons! 🙂 But, it's on my list of books to search for. In the meantime, a dear friend who is also planning her wedding, sent me three used books – the Anti-Bride Etiquette Guide, The Conscious Bride, and Bride in Overdrive. 🙂 So, I'm not totally behind the 8-ball! Reply I had just added your book to my Amazon shopping cart when I read that you had a 2nd edition coming out, so I quickly changed my order and the damn thing better hurry up and arrive! As always, thanks for everything! Reply I actually was waiting for the second edition of the book! And I'll be getting it with my next paycheck. Reply I love the site, haven't read the book (like some have stated above, I'm not engaged, don't wanna freak my bf out)… 'Offbeat Bride is based in the United States. ' I think we all get this, but at the same time, surely online content can be more flexible than that? If you are trying to cater to as many audiences as possible and be super inclusive, and if a large percentage of your audience is, for example, Malaysian, then it would make sense to feature more Malaysian weddings or more Malaysian guest bloggers. You don't need to be or claim to be experts in international wedding trends, no one is asking you to. Keep up the good work! Reply Oh Lau, we absolutely try do this! We make a big effort to have OBB be international, but I also have to recognize that 75% of OBB's traffic is in the USA. Only 7% of our readers are from Canada, and 7% from the UK, and 5% from Australia and New Zealand combined. We aim to have our content roughly match those percentages, which means featuring at least one international wedding a week. I LOVE our International content — in fact, it seems like Canada and Australia, specifically, are culturally way more offbeat than the US is when it comes to weddings. But I also wanted to recognize that since only 7 out of every 100 visitors are from Australia … it's likely that only 7 out of every 100 posts will be catered to their region. The point I wanted to make is just that as much as we will continue to serve our International readers with delicious international wedding porn, ultimately Offbeat Bride will always be based in the US. (Although, if it were up to me, we'd probably be based in Canada. Socialized health care what WHAT!) Reply I know that there are certainly factors to consider but… it is up to you! ps – Canada is awesome and you should move here. Not just for the socialized health care. And yes, our wedding culture is a lot less insane and white (in all senses…) here. Reply I didn't fill out the survey! But I ABSOLUTELY read the book early on and loved it. I've found the site to be a lifesaver–I almost always get the answers I need. There's no way I could be planning this wedding without the book and the site. Reply I'll fess up too – I didn't fill out the survey – but I check in every day and thoroughly enjoy reading this site even though I am also one of the non-engaged/non-married types. You're book is going to be the first one I buy when that does happen though. Keep up the great work! Reply Maybe for the next survey the list should be seperated into "Those who are engaged/married: have you read the book?" and "Those who are soon-to-be engaged: have you read the book?" since it sounds like a lot of people visit the website, but wait to buy until they have a confirmed engagement. Reply I agree with Sara on separating out the question. I am a non-engaged, female in a long term relationship when/if I do become engaged I'll definitely be buying the book, but until then it seems a bit hasty. I love the site though for two reasons: I love party planning, and like reading about all these weddings, and I love all the pictures. All these beautiful happy pictures of people in love, and all the people around them smiling, laughing and having a good time. It's the shinny-happy people holding hands that draws me in, the wedding porn. 🙂 Reply I don't know, the results make me feel even more left out than before (in reference to race/diversity seeing as I'm part of the remaining 8%) but I'll still enjoy OBT & OBB. Reply Hey, I would JUMP to read your book but I have no money, as I am a student who's funds are non existent. But when i get the change YOU BETCHA I WILL Reply Yay for the library! 🙂 Reply our library has three floors, and a massive amount on each floor but NO OFFBEAT BRIDE. I have requested it 3 times!!! silly librarians. Reply I'm dying to read the book, but I haven't found it in any of my local bookstores! I was just in Barnes and Noble yesterday and thinking they'd have it now that it's be re-released, I combed the wedding section and asked the desk clerk. No luck. They don't carry it, but they did offer to order it for me…but, I don't want to drive another 45 minutes to go pick it up! As I get a bit further along in my wedding planning, I'll definitely be ordering it online and have it sent to me, which I would've done already, but FH thinks I spend enough time logging in to OBT as it is! =] Ariel, if you're interested, I've checked four bookstores in my area in person that don't carry the book.: Books-A-Million Gainesville, Ga B&N Buford, Ga B&N Cumming, Ga B&N Atlanta, Ga (Edgewood retail center–super surprising, I can understand the small towns, but ATLANTA?!) Reply The second edition won't be in bookstores for a couple weeks, and I'm guessing the first edition is being phased out in anticipation of the second arriving soon. I don't have any control over who carries the book — that's all up to my publisher, Seal Press. Reply I can't speak for B&N but when I wanted to buy the book I just walked into the Borders on Peachtree Rd, picked it up off the shelf and took it home. So I guess, check a Borders or wait for the 2nd Ed. Reply I'll admit, I loitered for close to a year before I purchased the book a few months back. I guess I could have waited for the second edition, but oh wells. =P Reply i love this website and i love the community. i was actually married seven months ago and i still regularly visit 🙂 keep up the awesome work! Reply I'm really sorry to hear how few people have bought the book. With so much great free material on both sites, I think we forget that writing is one of the ways Ariel makes her living. It's one thing if you are in Hannah's position and have zero funds but quite another if you just haven't made a point of doing it. It's a fabulous book filled with real-world stories and advice. Trust me – it will save your life and your sanity! This is one of the best things you can do to combat the WIC! So here's a two-part challenge – everyone who can afford it, get a move on, dammit, and buy it! Support the woman who supports you! Let's make it 72% HAVE bought the book! We can do eet!! And after you've bought yours, Adopt An Offbeat Bride and get her The Book! This is a community after all. Let's help each other out! I can spring for one more. Hannah, send me a message on OBT and I'll make sure you get copy. Who's with me? Reply Awwh, what a sweet thought! I would, but I don't belong to OBT, as I will not be officially engaged for 9 more months (complicated, education, family illnesses/ death etc). In a year I will be working full time and I will buy a copy then! However, if you want to buy a copy, please do so and donate it to the library! I know about 5 of my friends in similar situations are waiting for it in our library, and I'm sure it will be the same where ever you live! Thanks so much for the thought tho! Reply Excellent idea! I just emailed our county library system and asked them how to go about it. Thanks for the suggestion! Reply That's fantastic 😀 Reply On the subject of genders, I was a bit disappointed to see that you have to declare one to sign up for OBT. I much prefer to leave that field blank whenever possible and having to pick one of the binary options after reading about adding "neither/both" (I think I'd prefer "other" wording but that may just be me) to the reader survey was annoying. As for the book, as soon as I'm home I'm picking it up! This site has given me a lot of confidence to stand up for what I want in a wedding, and I do like having books, so it's only natural. Reply Yeah, the gender thing on the OBT is something I don't have any control over. It's a Ning thing. Like so many OBT irritations are. 🙁 Reply I read the book a few months before discovering this site, and boy am I glad I did! I probably wouldn't have found this place otherwise. I do hope that you take my write in request though for more non-white wedding dresses. I'm starting to go white-blind! Reply I bought the book right after I got engaged, while searching for non 'wedding industrial complex' reads on Amazon, and then found the website. The book was a fun introduction to the offbeat bride community, and wasn't solely Ariel's wedding story. Very good for the offbeat engaged ladies. Reply I bought the book since I filled in the survey! It appears I am less than offbeat around here as an engaged-white-late-20s-female… Reply I am waiting for the new edition of the book to come out- I am so excited! Reply I'm thoroughly planning to buy the book once my boyfriend gets down on one knee (or however he ends up doing it) and proposes. For now, I have to vaguely pretend to be behaving myself and that I haven't already half-planned our wedding… Who me? No! Never!!! Reply Ariel – while i understand the international quotients, don't you think that Americans want to see more of non-American weddings? It seems you're assuming that only the Canadians want more Canadian weddings, etc. I want to see more weddings NOT from my own country. Reply They survey responses indicate that most readers want to see people like themselves. Time and time again, UK respondents said "more UK weddings!" and AUS respondents said "More Australia weddings!" Not a single US reader said "Less American weddings!" Reply Love the feedback from the survey and I ordered the new edition of your book at the beginning of the month. Such great info on the site and I'm even more excited about reading the book too! I can't wait till it's delivered. Of course, these stupid blizzards out east here have impacted that quite a bit. :-/ Keep up the great posts! Reply I appreciate this community SO MUCH. By the time of the first survey I hadn't read the book. I hadn't been engaged yet at that time, so I felt like it wasn't appropriate to buy wedding books yet. You can bet your bottom dollar that the MOMENT I got engaged, I went out and bought your book and I'm SO GLAD I did. I didn't read it for a month while I was beginning planning (and spiraling into wedding madness). I then read the book and that allowed me to really get to the heart of what we wanted in terms of a wedding. It was like the book guided me, unconsciously, through the drama of expectations and let me figure out that NO ONE WILL CARE about your dinner mints. SO, people – read the book. Seriously. It's more than just this site, by far. Reply I actually found the book first, then this site. I found the book very entertaining and helpful, but this site for me is sooo much better (probably because of the wedding porn, I can't get enough!). I do plan on buying the second edition too. At first I was thinking I really won't need it, I'm sure it's a lot of the same information, but as a book addict, I can't help myself. And of course I'm sure there will be some new information that I will find helpful. Reply Ariel- What's updated in the new edition? I just got engaged, ordered the new one and was surprised when Amazon sent me the old one…but I was too engrossed to send it back. If you've posted this somewhere I haven't found it. Thanks! Reply Check this post for info about what's in the new edition: http://offbeatbride.com/2010/01/second-edition-of… Reply I am one of those non-engaged, non-brides and haven't read you book because at the moment the obsession with weddings a secret interenet obsession and buying the book would make everyone (especially my boyfriend) a little worried.. Hopefully it won't be too long until I can legitimately buy the book. Reply Ha! I was in the exact same boat, Fran. Pretty soon after JD's proposal, I was typing away on Amazon, though. Reply I think the beauty of Offbeat Bride both blog and tribe is the diversity of people and the tolerance we have of each other. The things I have learnt and thought about as a result of joining OBT have actually not only helped my wedding planning but can be used in other aspects of life too! Have pre-ordered the new edition book from Amazon – can't wait for it to arrive 🙂 Reply I'm not only a non-bride but am deeply single by disposition and lifestyle (if only there were a quirkyalone equivalent to OBB!). But I love the fashion and photography and I get a great big feminist warm fuzzy seeing all the women out there who are so fabulous and individualistic and reclaiming this slice of culture away from the patriarchal-capitalist industrial complex. And since my best friend got engaged I'm actually equipped to give opinions and ideas. Win-win-win, I say. Reply I appreciate the explanation and outcomes of the survey. 🙂 It's very interesting to know where we're all coming from. In reading your post though, I almost got the feeling that you're defending the site and/or trying to lower expectations. But isn't a survey meant to shoot your ideas and wishes; without taking into account that we might be quite happy already? 🙂 For example, I would love to see international content. But I enjoy the site anyway, but when asked, I'll say what I think. And you had asked, right? P.S.: as far as the American thing goes, I've tried looking for an 'offbeat-like' website in my own language or region, but can find none. I guess America is so big, there are enough offbeat-brides to run a site for – and my country just isn't big enough… :S Reply Hannah, you're absolutely right. Some of the feedback we got from the survey was quite negative, and that can be hard to take sometimes. We work so hard on Offbeat Bride and of course we want to make EVERYONE HAPPY, but of course there's no way to do that … and yes, some of that defensiveness comes through in this post. It's part of why I didn't do the survey in December. I knew that in my postpartum state I'd be too sensitive to deal with the criticism that would inevitably come up, so I delayed until January. I'm a bit tougher, but it's still hard to feel like no matter what we do, there will always be some folks who are discontented with the site. Reply Defensiveness is understandable, but don't get discouraged. It's easier for us readers to find negative things to say than positive things, especially when the website is already so awesome. And furthermore, it's easier to phrase things negatively ("I wish there was more ____" vs. "It'd be totally awesome if there was more ____"), for whatever reason. But if you think about it… You wouldn't have had so many people giving criticism if we didn't already think the blog was worth visiting (and giving our time to, when filling out the survey). Reply Book? What's a book? Is that those things they used to make from dead trees? KIDDING, kidding. I promise to read the book… 🙂 Reply My copy of the book just came in today! 🙂 I too waited until being "officially engaged" before I bought the book. Reply I'm late to comment, but hopefully someone(s) will read this hearty endorsement: BUY THE BOOK! It's awesome and gives advice and insight that's very separate from what you find on OBB or OBBT. Really helpful, and, even after being married for over a year, I still get a little surge of offbeat pride when I see it on my bookshelf. Also, Ariel- I didn't participate in this year's survey, but I'm obviously one of your married OBB readers. (I also read Offbeat Mama every day, even though I have no intention of being a mama. I just like your style.) And I'm white, and I'm heterosexual, and I bought your book, and I like the bride profiles and DIY tips. I know this doesn't count me in your handy tallies, but I hate not voting, so there you go. Reply I also read Offbeat Mama all the time, and have zero intentions on becoming one – what's up with that? Any theories? Reply Well, when I wrote Offbeat Bride the book my goal was to write something entertaining. My guiding principal was "This book should make you smile even if you're like 'WTF who cares about weddings?'" That's been my goal with offbeatbride.com as well … and absolutely Offbeat Mama, too. Plus, I like to think that reading Offbeat Mama provides insight into nontraditional parenting … even if readers don't relate, I hope they're entertained and educated. Reply Ok, I hope no one will hate me for this suggestion, but I think there is a way to encourage people to buy your book. I'm an amateur writer and can appreciate you already going above the call by creating this site and the OBT. If we want you to continue, we all have to help you survive. You could offer limited access to the website, giving up just the teasing front page, and require registration for full access. To register, you could require people to answer about your book (I.e. "when was my wedding date?") or include a paragraph hidden in one chapter book that talks about the site and gives a registration code word. Women could still register for the OBT, but would be more likely to read your book to find the registration information. Reply I have been trying to get the book for over a year. None of the 10 libraries in my town have it or will get it (we're not a town of offbeat people, apparently). The local bookstores won't order it for me. I know, I know, amazon.com, but I just never quite get that done. Reply I feel awful. I havent read the book! and id love to! but its down to me location, i live in Dubai and its so hard to get stuff out here, i cant even view half the images as flikr is blocked here! madness, but the website keeps me sane…. now if only there was a digital copy that i could download and read! (and pay for of course!) I also understand that its an american website primarily for american readers, but there is really nothing as good as offbeat bride in the UK. In fact i dont think there is ANYTHING! Most of all i love the creativity of this site and all the beautiful weddings featured. Most of all gave me the courage to go for my coloured dress! (hot pink!) and to think of all the different ways i can have my fantastic family help out as it seams the team effort weddings rock the hardest! So keep up the great work and ill try and hunt me down a book! Reply Wow, I am feeling very white, straight, American, East Coast and engaged. Strange how even in offbeatland, there are still an awful lot of norms playing out… And OMG, something I totally forgot to say in my survey. The list of things you are going to do soon — esp budgeting — totally reminded me: advice/help/tips on negotiating. WOW, OH WOW, DO I SUCK at negotiating with vendors. Luckily my MOH is a lawyer (reads all the vendor contracts for me), a little bit of a spoiled brat and used to getting her way (at least she knows it) and can turn on the Biyatch at a moments notice. But I can't take her everywhere with me. Negotiation, UGH. Help us, Ariel, you're our only hope. Reply Guilty 18% of non-engaged here. I promise I will by the book once properly engaged but, for now your no drama policy makes this one of 2 websites I enjoy reading. Reply Read more comments 1 2 › Join the conversation Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 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