Reader Survey results, Part 2

Updated Oct 12 2015

So first, how about some more cold hard facts from the 2010 reader survey?

  • Y'all are social media geeks! 40% of you have a blog and 40% of you use twitter. 20% of you use our Facebook fan page to follow Offbeat Bride updates, and 20% of you use RSS.
  • You're mostly urban, with two thirds of you identifying as living in a large or small city.
  • Y'all are faithful: 50% of you said there were no other wedding websites you read as frequently as Offbeat Bride. Aww. That made me feel all warm and snuggly inside
  • Working with indie businesses is important to almost 70% of you, which is AWESOME — although don't lie, girls: I know a ton of you buy your dresses at that chain that rhymes with Cravid's Fidal. πŸ˜‰
  • Some of y'all have long engagements planned:

My very favorite question on the survey was "Do you identify with any offbeat subcultures?" With my illustrious undergraduate degree in Sociology, I make no secret of the fact that Offbeat Bride is in part a way for me to have a steady stream of subcultural stimulation. Metalhead! LARPer! Fanfic author! Lolita! Rollerderby girl! Rivethead! Straight edge! I am NONE of these things, but am obsessed with all of them.

I encouraged y'all to check as many cultural identity boxes as you felt applied, and here's how Offbeat Bride readers identify:

Unsurprisingly to me (but perhaps shocking to y'all) 50% of you identify as "Offbeat LITE," which I defined as "a little quirky, but not really into any subcultures." OBB LITEs, I love you, and here's why: I love that y'all are getting so much inspiration from the freakier side of wedding planning. There are lots of people who find folks "weirder" than them intimidating, and I really appreciate how many offbeat bride readers are able to say "Huh — a cosplay wedding isn't really MY thing, but I still read Offbeat Bride." The world needs more tolerant awesomes like y'all!

In terms of subcultures, the most popular were DIY/Crafts, Geek, Retro, Gamer (yay nerds!), Hippie, Punk, Rockabilly, Fantasy, Goth, and Steampunk. But predictably, a huge chunk of you opted to write in your own desciptors and lordy ladies, that was AWESOME!

Let's go down the offbeat alphabet, shall we? We've got academics and artists, bohemians and burlesque dancers, comic book fans and circus freaks, drama queens and eco-nuts, lots of feminists and a few fandom folks, glam and gothic lolitas, hardcore and homesteaders, indies and jugglers, kink/BDSM and librarians, nerds and pagans, queers and rockers, sci-fi fans and surfers, theater geeks and tree huggers, vegans, vikings, and lots of vintage. WHEW! Lots of you also said things like "I'm just me," which is awesome. I'm all for eschewing labels. But oh man. The sociologist/demographer in me LOVES LABELS. I love all of you freaks, and look forward to learning more about your corners of culture through your beautiful weddings.

The final question I asked y'all was what Offbeat site we should think about launching next. In a landslide victory, y'all said OFFBEAT HOME. This is interesting to me, because it means basically following theknot's template of wedding planning, homemaking, and babies. I love all three of these things, and am totally stoked about the idea of Offbeat Home and indeed am already scheming about it…but.

BUT! I can't deny that the feminine trinity of wedding, home, family feels uncomfortably traditional. I mean, I guess that's what Offbeat is all about: women find their ways through life transitions that are heavy with expectations and traditions. But I feel a little weird about the idea of a trio of Offbeat sites dedicated to the stereotypical path that young women have been force fed for centuries: get married, make a home, and start a family. Sure, I encourage y'all to do it in your own ways … but having a trio of website dedicated to those topics feels like an odd encouragement for women to keep doing the same things we've always been encouraged to do.

Maybe there's nothing wrong with that, but I can't deny it makes me a little uncomfortable to follow the knot/nest/bump template. I'm still scheming how awesome Offbeat Home would be, but I wanted to get my concerns off my chest…

Anyhoo, I could go on and on and on about the feedback we got from y'all … but this post is already too long. Mostly, thanks to each of you who took the time to share your opinions with me. It means so much to me that the website means so much to all of you.

  1. but we're all so inundated with knot/nest/bump-type information that we need an alternative! i already got married, i'm not having babies… where's the offbeat site for me? offbeat marriages/relationships/lifestyle/etc would be delightful.

  2. Wow! That's pretty amazing! I always thought of "offbeat home" as more of a genderless site because everyone kind has to live in a space, right? I think even if I wasn't married/getting married, I'd check out offbeat home for decorating ideas and whatnot πŸ™‚

    • I agree. I would imagine that "Offbeat Home" would be for stylish people who live somewhere. Woah! That's like, a lotta people! You can be young, old, single, married, LGBT or whatever and still live somewhere and be stylish. I think a "home" site would be the least traditional. Getting married and having babies come from traditional expectations of the female gender role. Living somewhere and wanting to decorate is not something I see as traditional, I see it as a basic need. Let's do it up!

      • This is actually a great point that I hadn't considered at all — while Offbeat Bride and Offbeat Mama are very much tied to RELATIONSHIPS, Offbeat Home isn't at all. And indeed isn't even tied to gender.

        I think you just convinced me!! πŸ™‚

        • That's the thing I DON'T like about it though. While Offbeat Bride and Offbeat Mama are about relationships, people, and life choices, I can see a home site being mostly about decorating, products, etc – materialistic, in other words. And this is something I would hate to see happen.

          • I don't know, I like the idea of Offbeat Home because a home is so much more than just buying things – it's about DIY, learning to live with a roommate or partner, and going through a lot of lifestyle changes abruptly, not unlike a wedding! And also not unlike weddings, discussing home choices can quickly turn to materialism, but that's why Offbeat Bride is so cool. It gives an alternative to all this. πŸ™‚

    • That's just what I was going to say. Most *people* live somewhere and want to make their space their own. I don't think of it as traditional feminine domesticity. Same with getting married and having babies, really. It's just part of the human life cycle. Isn't that the point of feminism – just doing what you want to do without asking whether it's a traditional female role or not?

    • I totally would, too! I've been obsessed with offbeat home decor since I was young, way before I was even dating, let alone married. I've always loved seeing how other people decorate their spaces, but most decor magazines & blogs are all kinda boring and homogeneous to me. I want to see the person's (or people's) essence in the space, not just a room that could have been staged by a designer, you know?

      • I've always been obsessed with decorating, but haven't been able to really exercise my own style yet: I went from my parents' house, to a dorm, and back to my parents' house. What about something for pesonalizing living spaces that aren't necessarily your own.

    • I agree. The best thing about OBB and OBM is that they don't presume that participants are women, or that alternatives weren't used. For example, while OBM might include one mother's story about her water-bath birth, it could also feature a wonderful story of a gay couple's adoption. Similarly, OBH would include LGBT and alternative relationship households. I forsee lots of awesome decorating ideas, tips to living in small spaces, features of fantastic homes (rammed earth anyone?), techy home features and lots of DIY. I'd recommend relegating relationship advice to a small column, rather than making it the bulk of the site.

      Ultimately, the thing is that we all feel that there is no better person to create a site that adequately covers a plethora of alternative lifestyles with an upbeat attitude built on dignity and respect for the people who lead these lives.

  3. I think it would be awesome to have the trinity of offbeatness, however, I understand that you'd have reservations. I think what I like most about the "offbeat" corner of the web is that it's doing traditional things – marriage, home, children – in non traditional ways. And that's okay! It kind of makes me excited to know that so many creative, awesome, free thinking people want the same things I do in life – home & family. And want to celebrate the weird and eccentric ways in which we pursue and care for those things.

    Just my two cents.

  4. I think the trinity doesn't have to be seen as traditional. The way I see it, a lot of offbeat boys and girls want marriage, children and a home just like everyone else- they just want to do it in their own way. And need help. And that's where the Offbeat Empire comes in!

    • And some offbeat peeps want two (or one) of the three – a wedding and a home, for example, without kids, or kids and a home without a wedding just yet. Having the choice of any of the three websites makes it that much more applicable to offbeat lives. πŸ˜€

  5. I love the idea of Offbeat Home, because it is somewhere we could turn when all the other sites reject us or vice versa. It is super traditional to follow that format, but at the same time, it is practical, it would be great to seek solutions in the home from like minded women. Everyone has a home in some way, offbeat or not πŸ˜€

  6. I understand your reluctance, but I for one would really, really love a non-bride non-baby site run by OBB. Now that my wedding is over, I find myself missing the time I spent brainstorming, comiserating and just making friends with people on OBT. I'd love to have a forum for that to continue, without feeling like the weird already married girl hanging around the boards

  7. When I think of OffBeat home I think of recipes, DIY decor, organization/cleaning tips. These are things everyone does. i've never been on the nest but yea…also relationship advice. Make it a place for all co-habitating couples (or jsut singles). Maybe roommate advice. Stuff like that.

    • I agree — Offbeat Home would include a much larger set of people, and it doesn't have to be set in the trio as a This Goes With This sort of way. You can love offbeat Home without being an offbeat bride, or without wanting to get married at all, for example!

  8. I agree with the above comments, and wanted to say that I think the yearning for Offbeat Home stems from the fact that lots of OBT-ers — myself included — love expressing their sense of style/design and talking about strong relationships, and we want a way to keep doing that after the wedding… particularly those of us who have no interest in having children.

    If you really wanted to buck the trend & make sure that different viewpoints are respected, I know I'd love to see a (respectfully done) Childfree section of Offbeat Home… I would love it if one day having a Childfree Lifestyle wasn't met with all the "you'll see"s and looks of horror. No disrespect to Offbeat Mamas intended, it's just another choice, and having choices is awesome.

  9. When I took the survey I was a little bugged that there wasn't an option for how long I've been married. I'm not engaged, I'm not a newlywed, I've been married for YEARS. I just like your blog. The offbeat weddings are fun to see. I'm not here because of my own wedding and the survey didn't see that as a possible option, so I went with whichever option was for married folks. Maybe think about that in the future – not all your readers are here because they have something to do with weddings. Some of us just plain ol' like your blog!

  10. do it do it! There are a LOT of us who are between marriage and baby (or not ever heading for baby ever ever ever) and where are we supposed to go to see peoples' cool spaces? Apt therapy? I'd like to see how all of these lovely subcultures does their kitchens! (think of it–rollerderby kitchen. oh, man…)
    Also, I agree with the others, these things aren't traditionally feminine so much as they are normal parts of everyone's lives. The alternatives are Offbeat Career, Offbeat Travel, and Offbeat Hobbies, which are cool, but probably wouldn't draw in the lurkers in quite the same way.

    • Hear hear on the alternatives. I do think OB Career, Travel, Hobbies etc. could be offered as subsections of OB Home. Add Offbeat school to that and I would feel fully represented!

  11. I'll be married in two weeks. No kids for a good long time, if at all (we'll begin discussions in 7 years). Offbeat or not, we all need somewhere to live. And a home, whether its a house, apartment, or submarine, is as personal as a wedding. I read Offbeat Mama just to see the culture and be part of the discussion, not because I feel that societal pressure to have a baby after marriage (I do feel pressure, but I'm choosing a different route, thankyouverymuch). I don't think that by offering us a place to discuss our living spaces that you're pressuring us. You're just giving us another place to continue to share our lives, beyond wedding or baby. Also, who cares what order you started the sites? Screw the knot/nest/bump. I see nothing of myself on those sites, and don't compare myself to them…. because… blech. You shouldn't compare either.

  12. I'm pretty sure I checked "Offbeat Work/Career" (I forget the official name) on the question re: what's next, and I stand behind it. I think our definitions for "work", "professional", and "career" are changing, and I think it's time we started thinking of new, offbeat ways to deal with our professional lives. "Offbeat Career" means so many things in my mind, and I'd love to see notions of "offbeat" and "career" explored, and how they can work together.

    Just sayin'.

  13. OOh, I LOVE the idea of an OffbeatHOME!! (I just read the comments after I posted) My house definitely qualifies!! I mean, unless having a swing hanging from the ceiling in a green and purple living room of a tiny 1800's stone cottage isn't offbeat, I mean. We also have some offbeat home management (unusual room uses, unusual laundry management… I won't give it all away here though). Make an OffbeatHome blog, seriously! I'd be all over that. That would rock!!

  14. While I can see the concern, I do feel like there is a huge gap in different home sites. I voted for home because I saw it as a marriage of two of my favorite things- OBB and HGTV. The offbeat trifecta would be about creating a space to celebrate non-traditional takes on what people might feel is a role they would take on and be put in a box. That's what I've gained from OBB, is the sense that any crazy idea I might want to put in my wedding is great, since it represents me and my relationship.
    Also, I'm a lot closer in my life to having a home than a husband or baby (I'm one of those "not yet engaged" people – I just love the sites!)
    Oh, and I finally read the book! I just got the second edition in the mail two days ago, and finished it within 24 hours. If not for work or school, it would've been one sitting. Fantastic!

  15. I think it's because we're so inundated with traditionalist websites about wedding, family and home – we need an offbeat antidote!

  16. I posted earlier, but I wanted to add that I think that another Offbeat-affiliated site would be great for non-married couples as well. My husband and I purchased a home together several years before we got engaged and I would have loved a support site like this to guide me through the process of making a financial commitment without the accompanying marriage certificate. In addition to things like decorating and cooking mentioned above, OffbeatHome could be a great resource for couples looking to purchase property, navigate sharing living space for the first time.

    Also, you've mentioned before that you are especially intereted in the female side of the equation. Perhaps you could choose to focus it as OffbeatWife instead of OffbeatHome, if that would make you more comfortable. Like the link today to ASimpleWedding's guest post on married lesbians, just because we've successfully gotten through the wedding doesn't mean we don't have questions about building our new life together as a couple and what it means in terms of balance of power, gender roles, societal expectations, ect. I'd love a place to explore those issues as part of an online community.

    • "Questions about building our new life together as a couple and what it means in terms of balance of power, gender roles, societal expectations"

      I would also love a place to explore those things! I feel like sometimes there is not enough room to talk about issues like that enough. Offbeat Wife or Offbeat Life – however you term it I would be interested to read it!

  17. I think the drive for Offbeat Home is pretty natural. I think we OBBs feel about a home life the same way we that we feel about weddings – that we need an antidote not only to the pressures of buying a house immediately after being married (honouring apartment living is something I'd like to see in the future OBHome), but also to the idea that our homes have to be some sort of perfect Better-Homes-And-Gardens land where there are never any stains on the tablecloths. Also, for OBBs who aren't having kids, their long-term living space is likely to be the thing that receives the bulk of their creative energy.

    And can I make the "duh" point here: home porn is almost as sexy as wedding porn.

  18. Wow. Managed to get me off my cosy RSS feed view and on to the website to comment! ____I totally get the discomfort with the trinity of weddings/homes/babies. And yet, it's precisely in these stereotypical areas that the pressure to limit how you express yourself is at its strongest. The sheer force of tradition and expectations in this trinity of traditional femininity is what makes the idea of that particular set of offbeat sites so compelling. I don't need a site that offers support and glorious inspiration in the areas of my life where I never have to justify my choices to well-meaning relatives. ^__~

  19. I think offbeat home is a great idea! because not everyone does the marriage then home then baby thing in that particular order, some do the home part first, then do the baby thing, some make a home with their friends/roommates with no intention of marrying/having babies with that person. The options are ENDLESS for offbeat home. Plus i think the non- gender specific way of decorating isn't covered. How to compromise on a kitchen backslpash (he does half the cooking, thus he gets a choice too).

  20. But it isn't just women who want to get married, have a home, and make babies. Sometimes the men in our lives (when we choose to have one) want it even more. I think all of those are human things. There's definitely some biology involved in finding a mate and procreating and building a home to shelter and nurture the family you create. We're lucky when we find partners who want all three of those things with us… if those things are indeed on our wish-list. And there are other sites out there for those who want one of those three options, two of those three options, or none of those things at all.

    • I totally hear this, but then I ask myself: are there huge online communities to help men find a spouse, make a home, and start a family (ala a male version of theknot/bump/nest)? If there is, I haven't heard of it…

  21. I'm not engaged (my man and I have been together for 9 years and we'll get to it, but no hurry) and we're not having kids. I chose Offbeat Home because I wanted to see how modern, fun people are decorating homes and apartments in a non-college looking and yet a non-ikea way. I do love Ikea's furniture, but it's becoming so popular that it's just not unique.

  22. Our engagement was 2 years and that was the perfect amount of time to think of & change ideas
    A lot of people have shorter ones and think 2yrs is crazy, I figure your going to be with this person forever anyway so whats the rush πŸ™‚

    • Light covers. Imagine the posts that could be done on light covers alone!! YES!!! (Says she with an office the color of dirty blood…..)

    • Whenever I feel like I need a change, I rearrange the furniture. I would LOVE to see house porn on the subject! πŸ˜€

  23. I like Offbeat Home which would keep things more simple (decor, diy) or OffbeatLife/OffbeatDaily if you want to expand even more. Basically a site/blog for ALL things offbeat. I.E. have tabs at the top of the blog to categorize different posts. Tabs: Home, Job, Travel, Hobbies, Events.

  24. So why do so many OBB's use DB? I chose to start dress shopping in a "big box" environment, but just as background research in a low-stress (low budget) environment. Admittedly, that was before I found OBB- I would have done lots differently! I honestly don't know where indie folk are near me, or how to screen an indie vendor. And I don't have a ton of time to go out to stores. Should this be (is it already) a thread?

    • I'm sure for a lot of people cost is a factor. Considering how expensive wedding dresses can get, even if you largely favor indie vendors for your wedding, it could just be cost-prohibitive to get your dress handmade or custom made or what have you. Stuff like accessories, favors, etc. is a lot easier to get from Etsy or locally, I think, without breaking the bank.

  25. I lurve Offbeat Home because it gives those of us who love weddings-but are not brides, and who love kids-but are not moms, and who ARE offbeat-but all we'rve got are our little corners of the world- a place to express it! I don't think it would be giving in to expectations for the trifecta of female adulthood- it would just be something else that offbeat folks love to bond over! Pleasedopleasedo! πŸ™‚

  26. I totally understand the desire for an Offbeat Home site, and it doesn't bother me one bit that it follows the OBBT or the Offbeat Mama site. We at OBBT are a crafty lot, who spend a lot of time agonizing over the details of our environment. As a working mom and DIYer, I frankly would love another Offbeat social network site where I can find all of the friends who have helped me plan this shindig so that we can share resources for all sorts of "life-balance" and miscellaneous fun stuff: home decor, yard/garden tips, home repair (Holy Crap! My 2-pronged outlets froze over and zapped my computer!"), hobbies, and miscellaneous other fun stuff.

  27. I think the knot/nest/bump is actually happening less and less often in our culture. At least not by those who even remotely seem to embrace it and make it their own. I see women all the time who look and act chained by their families. I would love to see those who not only love it, they put their own spin on it. There is no canvas so blank and so inviting as your home. I think you can really turn up some inspiration with this. πŸ™‚

  28. Offbeat Home is a STELLAR idea! I totally feel what you mean about it feeling weird to follow the beaten path in that regard, however, I'm not having children and am completely obsessed with all things real estate and home-related! Somehow I could imagine myself spending more time at Offbeat Home than Offbeat Bride even (/gasp! I know I know, but you only get married once and I'll have a home, well, my whole life hehe). Oh man my head is already swimming with amazing ideas for articles and whatnot! Writing for a website like that would basically be the best job in the world. Yup. SO, if you do launch Offbeat Home, keep me in mind!

  29. I chose Offbeat Home because my partner and I are already married but aren't ready for children yet. I still read Offbeat Bride and Offbeat Mama every day though because they represent two beautiful communities of acceptance that I wish I saw more of in my every day life. Offbeat Home could encompass so much, from urban planning to recipes, that I think it would be a very worthwhile endeavor.

  30. I think I chose Offbeat Home. Either way, I'd LOVE to see that website! Hubby and I are in the process of buying our first home, and knowing how a) DYI-ish b) budget-conscious c) non-judgmental and d) freaking awesome all of the OBB are, I could easily see myself becoming addicted to such a site. And if the guest blogs and advice are anything like they are here, that'd be super helpful too. So, please! Make it!

  31. The idea of "Offbeat Wife" appeals to me as well. Though it does shut out the non-wifey types (same-gendered couples, gentlemen), it would also lend a definite, specific flavor to the site which would follow OBM and OBB nicely.
    On the other hand, I also sense the perils. Here's where I think the problem lies: Our homes may be, ironically, the last place we come to express ourselves radically. At the end of the day, you've got to eat, sleep, and answer nature's call, and there's not a whole lot of variation from person to person, is there? I feel that we're just not going to be as crazy awesome day to day as we our on our wedding day, or even raising our very unique kids. Thoughts?

  32. Offbeat Trio isnt such a bad Idea-
    totally get what you are saying about being uncomfortable with the "what we've always been encouraged to do" template- however– I think that this crew would be likely to take"home" and "family" to a whole new level.

    There are a lot of us who are career driven ladies. A place to go to find out what other awesome ladies are doing, how they are balancing home with hubby…..a good place to be reminded that even 10 years into wedded bliss, we dont need to, nor should we sacrifice our wants and desires for the sake of keeping peace and or making sure our significant other has all of his/her desires….a place to find out what other offbeat folks are doing with their kids, how they are balancing careers if at all, whether or not they're buying into all these vaccinations, etc. for infants…a home for this kind of stuff from folks who lead a less than totally regular lifestyle would be great….of course- I am sure you know this, since you've got a survey screaming it.

  33. I probably wouldn't be interested in off-beat home. As a renter who moves every couple years, I just don't have much interest in acquiring more stuff, nor do I have much control over my environment. When I think of people who are more settled down, more affluent, and own their own homes — they don't sound Offbeat to me. They sound like "norms".

    • Owning a house isn't what gives you a home. You have a home no matter where you live. The way you live, not only the way you decorate, but the way your organize your life, is what would (from what I understand) be covered on Offbeat Home.

      Also, my husband and I, who also rent and have for several years (moving almost every year) talk all the time about how we can't wait to be able to afford to buy our own house and decorate it just how we want to — super geek style. Because of our current living situation, we're not able to display his massive lifelong Star Wars figure collection (among other things — like the other 3843847 comic figures & statues, etc. we have in boxes all over the house and my collection of '80s and '90s toys) but when we own, we will be able to have display cases everywhere and posters and all the autographs we got at conventions. And I dunno, I kinda don't think that fits into most people's ideas of a "norm." =)

  34. I think that the trinity of home, wedding, baby seems overly traditional because regardless of how offbeat we all are, or how we may label and define these roles in our lives, we all have to co-exist with our non-offbeat world of friends, co-workers, mother-in-laws. So many of us aren't blessed to have an entire offbeat world so, right or wrong we are often asked to whittle our wild ideas into boxes that make other people comfortable, if only to keep a temporary peace. I would welcome all advice in the world about explaining to my thoughts on cloth diapers and high fructose corn syrup to my uber traditional, rural, midwestern mother-in-law whom I love completely for who she is.

    A component to Offbeat home could be Offbeat Career. It would deal with both careers that are offbeat and forwarding your career as a person that doesn't fit accepted norms. For example, articles on why I do or don't tell my co-workers I play D&D. That might make it more about living Offbeat in an Onbeat world and less about "wedding, family, home."

  35. I'm pretty much as non-traditional as you can get, and often have to swallow my knee-jerk, bilious reaction to someone forcing perceived gender roles on me when they're really not, but even *I* don't think there's much reason to be afeared of creating some sort of "Traditional Trifecta".

    There are many great reasons listed above, but I think the most important of which is that most everyone lives *somewhere*, and if you are reading this site you probably are interested in bringing creativity and individuality into your everyday life. I've spent years and years studying interior design from an artist's point of view, and it's immensely difficult to weed out silly trends and think outside the box. It seems even more difficult if the "you" that you are trying to represent in your living environment is offbeat.

    Rather than looking at it like Offbeat Home is completing a trio of traditional female roles, why not think of it as a natural extension of the process of "offbeat-i-cizing" your life?

    And can I just say, if you go through with it and want any extra help, I'd love to throw in my lot. This is right up my alley. πŸ™‚

  36. Ariel,

    Would you be willing to release the official numbers/answers? I'd love to do an infographic on the results of this survey.

    – Dom

  37. Maybe the name is just a bit misleading. What if it were "Offbeat Daily" – just focused on our everyday lives? Or "Offbeat Style"? (I forget the options that were listed on the survey….)

    If it focuses on a wide variety of people and situations (family in the burbs starting to have kids, metro single who travels, people who don't even have a home to decorate….) I think it will still be a Very Good Thing. πŸ˜›

    • I agree with this. I enjoy reading magazines such as Family Circle because it has recipes, travel tips, cleaning tips, gardening info, decorating advice, etc, etc. It's not just about one thing and doesn't necessarily focus on the traditional notion of family (mom, dad, 2 kids, dog). I think something like the above "Offbeat Daily" could do that and appeal to a broader audience too.

  38. I do very much understand your discomfort. Part of why I picked it was that (unlike the Knot -> Nest -> Bump model), Offbeat Home would have interested me at many periods of my life! It's not just about "you're married, now what" — it's about "how do you filter out all the noise from Martha Stewart and Good Housekeeping and HGTV to create a home YOU love," whether that home houses one person, a couple, or many people. Yes, a lot of pressure in that world is traditionally on women, but the climate it fosters ("create a Man Cave so you can escape your wife's household dominion!") hurts everyone. And it's *certainly* applicable to couples who haven't yet gotten married, and perhaps never will, whether by choice or by law.

  39. To me what would be differant about your trinity/offbeat empire is that there would be no assumptions. Its not like you're saying you get married then make a home then have babies. Some people might have babies, then make a home and then get married, there are so many combinations! And not everyone has to do everything (I am all about choices). What I love is that EVERYONE has a home be that a caravan or a cardboard box or a backpack or a cottage or a yurt. I like to think of offbeat home as providing for all of your offbeat followers. And just imagine all of the amazing homes and decor and DIY and THINGS you will cover on it. It will be a great way to feature all kinds of people and the way they live, and who they live with and stories and…'le sigh'….can't wait

    • Precisely my comment! I thought the same thing and was pleased to scroll down and find someone else had said the exact same thing. And I definitely second the person a few above who mentioned Offebeat Careers/Business. (I'm a career counselor and I dig that kind of stuff.)

  40. I want an offbeat home because I am so tired of home sites assuming that I can afford to buy a place (not so much), that I would want to buy vs rent (also not so much, even if I could afford to buy in my city), that as soon as we want kids we will move out to the suburbs, and that living downtown is dangerous unless you live in some fortified condo building with five million security guards.

    I was offbeat-lite in terms of weddings, but I am realizing now that I am completely freaky when it comes to living… plus an offbeat home site might give a place for people who aren't at the baby/marriage stage a place to still connect with others like them. Or at least others that are unlike everyone else.

  41. Ariel, maybe you can look at it this way: the knot-nest-bump thing doesn't necessarily have to be a 'trio'. 'Nest' does not have to be post-knot or pre-bump. It can just be an individual subject, for people who don't knot or bump up. Just as bump doesn't imply knot and vice versa.

    I would rather look at is as three options in life (of many more). And let's face it; 'nest' is something we all need, even if it's on the go in a trailer or wagon, or is overflown with lace doileys OR none or both! Options!

  42. wow, thanks for the info, i didn't know that most people are engaged for about 6-18 months out before their weddings. i love to here what people have to say. thanks for posting the data. aloha

  43. I missed the survey but would LOVE to see an Offbeat home site!!!

    I don't know if I'll ever get married and I'm not able to have kids; but I love offbeat bride for the decorating tips, the DIY projects, the food and cake, the ideas for awesome parties, the ways of expressing your individuality to the world at large.

    Yes a wedding is a wonderful exciting presentation of these things; but so is your home, and everyone has a home – unlike a wedding; and a home is forever – whereas a wedding is only a day.

    I'd LOVE to see hippy homes, nerdy homes, goth homes, punk homes, retro homes, steampunk homes, etc. I'd love to see 50s diner style kitchens in rockabilly homes and water saving ideas in hippie bathrooms and romantic gothic garden courtyards.

    I'd LOVE to read DIY tips on how to reupholster boring old furniture in fun personal funky fabrics. How to sand back furniture and repaint or collage or otherwise beautify it in your own unique way. I'd love to see tips and ads and links for crazy unique lighting suppliers or wallpaper companies or door bell makers.

    Honestly I could see Offbeat home as having a larger audience than Offbeat Brides, and an audience that would never stop reading!!! πŸ˜€

  44. Just like Offbeat Bride doesn't always focus on weddings with white, fluffy dresses and baby-pink roses, Offbeat Home doesn't have to always shine it's spotlight on a home that fits into that traditional feminine trinity.

    What about the sword-merchant mother that travels the country with her family, going from Ren Faire to Ren Faire, living her life in RVs and medieval tents? She may not be June Cleaver, but she literally /builds/ an Offbeat Home every day! Or the young, single, career-focused tech geek who only has time to cook for herself once a month, so she's mastered the complex art of Foodavers and freezer bags? Or the new homeowner who is building a secret passage (… to his Steampunk Laboratory? These freaky, expressive, brilliant people exist, and they deserve to be talked about! I want to learn from them – don't you?!

    One of the most beautiful things about Offbeat Bride, in my opinion, is that it proves that you don't /have/ to conform to the traditional wedding standard in order to have a beautiful, moving day that represents you, your significant other, and the commitment you're both making to the future. Offbeat Home could do the same thing – prove that you don't /have/ to have a contemporary, suburban 3-bedroom-2-bath and an ideal, middle-class family in order to have a warm, welcoming home that expresses your crazy rad self!

    I guess what I am saying is that Offbeat Home would rock my face off and I would read it every single day. I'd be so excited to see/read about/be inspired by so many different examples of "Home" – a crafter's tiny urban apartment with hand-painted, herb-garden window boxes; sprawling old farmhouses with framed, punk rock posters in the hallways; suburban split-levels with a fantasy treehouse in the backyard that was built for LARPing instead of for the kids… my imagination runs wild.

    I think /more/ alternative folks, people who choose to have a life that ISN'T defined by that traditional feminine example, would be represented than even Offbeat Bride or Offbeat Mama. Plenty of people never get married and choose not to have children – but, whether it's a house or an apartment or a beat-up van, we all have homes.

  45. I choose offbeat home because I saw it as a natural line to follow. Plus I never read home to mean home as in habiat. i took home to mean something more holslistic – such as lifestyle choices and understanding others in a diffrent light. Home is a place you belong rather than just bricks and mortar.

    I'm looked upon weridly because I paint vintage furniture, we turned our back garden (yard) into a vegetable plot and choose to spend my summer holiday camping and hiking yet in in the OB world it's normal πŸ˜‰ and I really look forward to sharing veg tips with OB-ers!!

    • I thought the same thing. While Home could obviously include decorating, I thought of it more in terms of how do you structure and build your life. Home is not only the space where you live, but the lifestyle you create for yourself. The type of living space you have — loft, apartment, condo, house, ect. — and the neighborhood where you live — rural farm, suburban community, urban area — all reflect your interests and goals in life. So not only do they need to be decorated and landscaped, they each bring with them an array of issues such as environmental sustainability, access to schools, safety and security, communication with your neighbors, and so much more. I'd love a place to discuss all of this, along with the post-marriage issues of gender balance I mentioned in my earlier post.

  46. One of the thing that continues to draw me to this blog is by getting the chance to see so many amazing and unique weddings filled with different subculture thematics. It's so awesome. I find I am becoming very bored with certain other wedding blogs out there, that, while they do display some very beautiful weddings, it's like looking at the same perfect cookie cutter wedding over and over and over. There's very little variance and it's becoming boring to me. But then I pop over here and I always smile and go "Wow!" I'm always getting a chance to see something new and different. I love ya Offbeat Bride!

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