This is the story of the most empowering moment of my life
Ok, I'm only 27, so I'm hoping to have a lot more empowering moments but, man, proposing to my introverted boyfriend was incredibly awesome.
The best thing is that I did not expect it to feel this way… and I definitely did NOT expect his reaction!
The first time I thought about proposing to my boyfriend
The first time I thought about proposing to my boyfriend was when my BFF told me so, because it was something that I would totally do. But at the time I thought that I should leave that step to him, when he was ready.
The thought actually never left my mind, and when my American sister (I call her that because we did a language exchange as teenagers and it's way shorter) proposed to her boyfriend, I was completely inspired. I guess I needed some kind of push, because at that moment I decided that I was going to propose. But I had no clue whatsoever about how, when, etc.
Why I didn't propose with a ring or in public
One thing I was sure about is that I would NOT give him a ring. He doesn't ever wear any jewelry, so it wouldn't make sense at all. After thinking and rethinking for a few months, I had the answer: an electric guitar. He had spent some time looking at some Fender Telecasters but never took the step to buy one, so I did It for him (with a little help of my musician friend) and got him the Fender Telecaster American Elite in butterscotch blonde — a real beauty.
Funny thing, the guitar came way faster than expected and some friends were coming to visit and would use the sofa bed where I was hiding it (it's not easy to hide a guitar with the case and everything), so I had to prepare the proposal in a blink of an eye. Because we get off work at the same time, I had to leave early a couple of days in order to get everything ready.
I didn't want things too complicated: my plan was to create an intimate moment. My boyfriend is very introverted so it wouldn't have made sense to be around people, like being in the middle of a mall or park. (We're anti-clichés).
So how did it go?
I wrote some cards with the history of our relationship, inside jokes, anecdotes and a couple pictures, hung them from the ceiling in the corridor leading to the bedroom. A card on the bed saying “pull me” to discover the guitar under the covers, another one on the guitar saying “turn me over”, and in the back I wrote “Marry me?”.
He flipped. He did truly really flip. First when he saw the guitar, second when he turned it over. I was hiding in the bathroom all along. I heard “What the f***” and came out to his arms.
Him: Is it now when I say yes?
Him: YES! YES! YES!
Prior to this moment, we had a few conversations about marriage and kids and so on. My boyfriend was always more inclined to talk about having family than getting married, so I had no idea how he would react to the proposal. I told him that I was over the moon because I was afraid that he wouldn't be up for it or excited… or, I don't know, all those things that come through your mind in this kind of situation.
But all my doubts went away when he said: “I would marry you tomorrow if I could”.
Oh my god, this melted my heart.
Needless to say, I was crying the whole time.
All the nerves before and the happiness of how it turned out, made me feel like floating. All those months of planning happened in just 2 days, but it went so well in the end, I couldn't believe that it was happening. Seeing him with such joy and excitement saying all those romantic things, being at the opposite perspective of what it normally is, I never thought that I would feel so fulfilled, proud for taking the step, empowered because it felt right, it felt like I was always supposed to do this.
A lot of people were kind of traumatized for the fact that I was the one proposing. I didn't give a flying fuck. We are on the same page and that is what matters.
My boyfriend's mother told me that she was glad I did it, because she didn't see him proposing any time soon. I laughed a lot because… she was completely right. As an introvert, it's just not his style.
So: If you're a woman thinking about proposing, I hope I gave you enough reasons to do it!