Having a pre-wedding freak-out? Here’s a dose of sanity for ya…

Guest post by Kacey

Kacey, the military bride who wrote Ariel's favorite book review , is getting married tomorrow, and despite having her shit together, she's still freaking out. Here's how she's holding onto her sanity.

Everything is done! Programs are printed and folded. Seating charts are printed, matted and framed. Décor vases are packed and ready to take to the venue. Menus are set. Dresses are hanging in the closet, ready for final steaming on Wedding Day. I'm even already legally married, having accomplished that three months ago in front of the Justice of the Peace.

Everything is done, and I've still got two full days until the wedding. One would think I'd be celebrating and ready to relax and enjoy in epic fashion.

One would be miserably wrong.

In my hubris, I honestly thought that I could avoid the bridal freak outs. I hired a fantastic planner, who has beautifully done her job of helping me to stay organized and in control. Surely if I just stayed ahead of the timeline and on budget, I should be able to avoid the legendary stress of wedding week, right?

Well, apparently not. In truth, today has been a tough day on the stress front. Despite my best intentions, I feel my anxiety levels ratchet upward with every question that anyone asks. I'm ready, I know I'm ready, and yet I still feel backed into a corner.

So, why?

Well, one thing comes immediately to mind; namely, the issue of control. I've done so much planning. But at this point, whether or not things work out is somewhat out of my control. Plans will either come to fruition, or they won't. Regardless of how heavily I've stacked the deck in my favor, there's still a tiny chance that things won't work out as they should. And that sucks, but that's life, which, I've heard, isn't fair.

At the end of the day, I'm going to go to bed with this man I love, and wake up with him the next morning.

So what do I do about it?

Well, first, sit down and write about it, to get it out of my head. Seriously, forcing myself to sit down and think through these feelings through, enough to articulate them, really helped lessen the feeling of looming panic. Not until I'd done that could I begin to believe that I could relax.

Secondly, pull out my bad-ass planning skills and do some small task that may or may not be strictly necessary. Busy work, if you will. In my case, I got out all of the items that I needed to transport from my home to the venue, labeled them all (totally unnecessary), and repackaged them for said transportation. I didn't need to do it, but the process helped me calm down and focus.

Thirdly, sit on the couch with my husband and realize that, since we are already married, in the end, I have nothing to worry about. At the end of the day, I'm going to go to bed with this man I love, and wake up with him the next morning. At the end of the day, we're together in the eyes of the law, in the eyes of our family and friends, and most importantly in our own eyes.

So, on wedding day, even if Murphy's Law rears its ugly head, we still win.

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Comments on Having a pre-wedding freak-out? Here’s a dose of sanity for ya…

  1. I’m three months out. I am aware of my nervous tendencies. The things I am already waking up at 1am worrying about.

    But here’s what I keep thinking: won’t it be the biggest shame if I miss the whole day because I worried about things that never eventuated? That I can never have those moments back. That you can’t say, a week later, okay, now that I know that everything will be alright, can I just have the day again?

    So I’m trying to live in the moment. Hope everything went well Kacey x

  2. I’ve only been at the wedding planning for a month (big day is 9 months from now) and I already began freaking last week. My friend hosts a weekly Buddhist meditation and support meeting at her house and invited me (a non-Buddhist who just needs to effing CHILL) to join them. Looking forward to meditation as a stress management tool!

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